


Open Up

by aishjinjaa



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Crack, Depends, Fluff, I Tried, Light Angst, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Other members will come out eventually, Sports, i think, there will be smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-18 03:51:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 39,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11866098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aishjinjaa/pseuds/aishjinjaa
Summary: What Yoon Jeonghan needs right now is silence.He's trying to graduate Summa Cum Laude in BOTH courses he's taking at the same time, and there's no time for noise, distractions, and hot boys.Choi Seungcheol is all noise, distractions, and an extremely hot boy.





	1. Chapter 1

Jeonghan squinted at the wall opposite his, not grasping what his roommate is supposed to be like. The Korean national soccer team poster, a poster of some track athlete, and a weathered Park Hyo Shin magazine cut-out. Is he rooming with some dad-like human?

“What do you think, Josh?”

“He’s either a 40 year-old, or a 40-year-old-brained college student: an athletic dad. You’ve got yourself a jock. ”

Jeonghan groaned. If there was something he didn’t need this term, it was an over-confident roommate who kept lifts and runs around the room; you know the type. He needed silence, silence, and infinite more amounts of silence. If he was going to finish his degree with flying colors, he’s going to have to ace all of his subjects this year. He will not be distracted by some gigolo. 

“What’s his name again?”

“Choi Seungcheol.” Jeonghan read from the paper handed to him by the dorm director earlier on.

“I better go; I don’t want to be here for the awkward introduction.” Joshua clicked his tongue and moonwalked to the door.

“Dork.”

“Bye, nerd!”

 

Apparently, there were no introductions necessary. Not for tonight, at least. The final bell for the curfew has rung and the gates have closed by now. Observing from the mess on his roommates desk, he wouldn’t say it’s abandoned; but he wouldn’t say it was used much, either. If he’s lucky, he might actually have an absentee roommate.

That would perfect.

“Jsh,” he tried to say as he had a toothbrush between his teeth, facing his phone with Joshua on loudspeaker.

“What?”

“I don’t think my roommate spends a lot of time in this room.” He managed after he spat toothpaste.

“Score.” he can some background noises from Joshua’s end, arguing about fruits and milk and whatnot.

“Hi, Auntie!”

“Hi, Jeonghan!” Joshua’s mom greeted back. “Don’t stay up too late, okay?”

“Okay!” more arguing.

“Kiss-ass.” Joshua muttered as his mother left his room.

“True.” Checking the lock on the front and balcony door, he decided to retire for the night. “Anyway, Josh, I’m just going to go to sleep, if this is the only night I’m going to alone in this room, I’d rather sleep it off.”

“Bye.”

 

“What the fuck is that about?” He grumbled to himself as he was woken by a loud clanking sound. Rising from his extremely comfortable sleep and reminded himself to ask the dorm director for another change of rooms.

Figuring that the sound was coming from the balcony, he decided to open the doo—“Shit!” his heart did a mini somersault when he was greeted by a crouching figure, frozen with his hands still clutching a pin, still posed to pick the lock.

“What the fuck?” Jeonghan bit, trying to back away from the super compromising position they were previously in. 

“Yo.” The mysterious, weirdly positioned guy whispered, unfrozen and stood, albeit stumbling backwards, obviously drunk. He stared at Jeonghan curiously, throwing the pin haphazardly to the ground. “Who are you?”

“I’m supposed to be asking you that.”

“This is my room.”

“This is my room, too.”

Something in that statement made the other man’s face light up and made him say ‘ahhh’ nodding while pushing Jeonghan out of the way and striding into the room.

“Hey! Hey,” Jeonghan grabbed his arm, stopping any type of robbery going on here. Yes, he might be extremely attractive, he might be extremely hot, but that doesn’t stop him from robbing, Jeonghan, will it?

“This is my room, chill.” He slurred, with his eyes half lidded, trying to reach inside his back pack from something. “See?” he threw his ID on Jeonghan’s direction, and him just catching it just in time.

Choi Seungcheol. BS Kinesiology.

Jeonghan threw the ID back; he didn’t realize that his roommate is within his own college. How is he unfamiliar?  
“That’s because you bury yourself in your books.”

“What?”

“You spoke out loud.”

He always does that; he thinks to deeply and he doesn’t even realize he’s been talking out loud. It goes the same for his studying, much to the annoyance of every single person in the library. 

“I know you,” he stood up straight, facing Jeonghan, pointing a sports bottle in his direction and slung a towel over his shoulder. “Yoon Jeonghan. You’re smart. You have two courses, right?”

Jeonghan looked at him curiously, then slowly nodding. “How did you know that?”

“Sports people always gossip about the smart ones.” He laughed; the scent of alcohol still very much present. “We aren’t smart, you know. We can hardly finish a single course with satisfactory score, much less two.”

Deciding that this might be a touchy subject, he changes it. “How did you get here? It’s way past last call, and why the fuck were you in the to the balcony?”

“I always go that way.”

“What are you, Spiderman?”

“I go out, I party, smartypants.” He leaned over to Jeonghan, scanning him over up and down, tugging at the hem of his clothes.  
“Stop that.” He slapped the hand away, sending him the evilest stare he can give.

The other backed away, laughing, walking to the bathroom. “Tell Morning Cheol to apologize to you when he wakes up, okay? Evening Cheol never does.” Then he shut the bathroom door behind him.

What the actual fuck was that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like after the first two I have to compensate with a fluffy one; so I will try with this one. Emphasis on 'try'. If there are any more changes to the plot than the one I currently have now, the warnings and tags will be updated (I think smut *wink wink*)


	2. Chapter 2

“Ugh.” Jeonghan grumbled immediately as soon as he woke up.

“Did I wake you?” a voice in the dark asked.

“What the fuck?” he looked around, trying to make his eyes adjust to the dark.

“Human in the darkness?”

“Yes?” The fuck?

“Can you turn the lights on, please?”

“Sure.”

Jeonghan’s eyes had to adjust to the light, squinting, until everything came into focus. He looked very different this morning, now nearly recognizable. 

“Hi.” The figure in the doorway was so different from the one who tugged on the hem of his shirt last night. Last night was almost motorcycle gang fashion, a complete set with the gelled up hair and smoky eyes. Today, it’s pastel pink shirt and book bag, almost looking like a normal student who comes home at proper hours, not the balcony climber freak. “Was I too noisy?”

“No.” he sat up and studied the other properly. “Evening Cheol told you to apologize.”

The gasp was immediate and almost panicked. “Oh my god, what did I do?”

“Nothing major.”

He pouted. Cute. No, Jeonghan.

“I’m sorry. For whatever Evening Cheol did.”

Jeonghan squinted at him, not really sure to ask the question. “Why does Evening Cheol exist?” The other shifted from his spot by the table and decided to sit down. 

“Well,” he smirked, which Jeonghan did not find attractive, not at all, “Evening Cheol is the Cheol that likes to party. When school gets too exhausting, he takes all the stress away.”

“Through partying?”

“Yup.”

“Booze solves all things, does it?”

“Not everything but most.” He chuckled, almost exclusively to himself. “Anyway, I need to go to class, I’m gonna be late.” Jeonghan smiled as his hesitant roommate shuffled out.”

 

“How’s your first night?” Joshua did his mini shoulder dance as soon as he had access to Jeonghan. In the canteen, unsurprisingly.   
Jeonghan was halfway through chewing his apple so he just stared at Josh the whole time he was chewing, trying to send his annoyance through eye contact. “Han, you are my best friend, and I know that neither both of us can read minds so stop trying to make me understand, I can’t.”

Jeonghan swallowed the remains of his apple. “You suck.”

“I agree.” He nodded solemnly. “Tell me.”

“He arrived at around 4-ish something, almost 5 I think.”

“What?” Soonyoung suddenly interjected, sliding his tray onto their table sheepishly. “Roommate?” he asked Jisoo and he nodded. “How did he get in?”

“Ex—”

“Jeonghan hyung’s roommate?” Mingyu interrupted him again, with a sheepish Seokmin trailing behind him.

“Yup.” Soonyoung answered. “And, yo, bro, thanks for gracing us with your presence.” He made room for Seokmin to sit beside him. “The pleasure is mine, brodude.”

“The shit is a brodude?” Mingyu said, disgusted.

“Language!” Jisoo chastised.

“I’m sorry, let me rephrase that.” Mingyu apologized, but we knew where it was going anyway. “The fuck is a brodude?”

Jisoo exhaled. 

“Is anyone else coming?” Jeonghan looked at the general direction and around, trying to see if any of his friends are joining the table. He doesn’t want to be interrupted again. “Okay, so you all know I just moved into my new dorm room.”

“Yes.”

“Uh huh.”

“Positive.”

“Affirmative, sir.”

It was his turn to sigh, he needs better friends. “A nod will be sufficient.” Everyone nodded.

“So, my roommate, is kind of weird.”

“Tell me about it.” Mingyu muttered under his breath, which made Seokmin kick him from under the table.

Jeonghan glared at both of them, continuing his story. “So almost right after the last call, I decided to go to sleep. At about late 4am, I heard a clanking, so I decided to look for it.”

“You’re like a white girl in every thriller movie. ‘Let me just check that out, that can’t be the axe murderer that’s been chasing us the entire time, nope, lalalala’, dumbass.”

“Thanks, Mingyu.” He deadpanned. “Anyway, he was trying to pick the lock when I opened the door,”

“So you were standing and he was kneeling?” Soonyoung interrupted.

“Yeah.”

“Perfect. Go for it.” 

“Go for what?”

“Allow him, bro, allow the dude.” He waved his hands in a weird manner while Seokmin made gross faces.

“No, what the—” he almost said fuck but Jisoo glared at him; “It’s not that, it’s never that!”

“Oh.” Their shoulders dropped, deflated.

“I’m smacking the next person to interrupt.” He glared at all of them. “So he introduced himself, roommate, Choi Seungcheol and everything, and he teased me, and leaned in and played with the hem of my shirt. But then—” he eyed everyone before anyone can cut him off again. “He said I can ask Morning Cheol to apologize, and when I woke up, he totally looked like a different person, he was wearing a pastel colored shirt compared to last nights’ leather jacket, and he totally acted so differently.”

“Was Evening Cheol hot? He sounds hot.” Soonyoung had his brain somewhere else he could tell.

“Not the point.”

“Was he wearing black skinny jeans and black bookbag?”

“Yes, why?”

“He’s there.” Jisoo pointed to someone about 7 tables away. “Is that him?”

Jeonghan stared, his much drier hair, the piercings that weren’t there earlier today, he just realized how attractive his roommate was. 

“Yeah.”

“Shit.” Soonyoung cursed.

“Soonyoung!”

“I know, Josh, but…” his hand waved to his general direction, “Look at that.”

“I know, if I cursed, I would use that word, too.”

“And he wears a leather jacket?” he can sense he’s losing Mingyu, too. “Imagine those skinny jeans, a black shirt, and a leather jacket and boots.”

“He was wearing exactly that last night.” Jeonghan prompted, seeing as his friends were already somewhere out there. “Plus gelled-up hair, eyeliner, and more of those piercings.”

“Stop it.” Jisoo cut the daydreaming. “No one wants a mess here.” He whispered.

“You guys are so perverted.”

The three came back to earth, still stealing glances. “Momma, he’s hot.” Soonyoung said in a fake accent. “Lemme marry him, momma.”

“Shut up, shut up, Soonyou—” Seokmin was grabbing Soonyoung, and Jeonghan didn’t realize until he arrived at the table.

“Hi, Jeonghan.” Seungcheol smiled politely at him, then at everyone. “Uhh, I might arrive late again, so if it’s alright with you, please don’t lock the balcony door so I won’t disturb you again.”

“No one else can climb that, right?”

“As far as I know.” He shook his head, then looked at the rest of his friends. 

“Oh! These are my friends; this is Jisoo, or Joshua, whichever you prefer. That’s Mingyu, Seokmin, then Soonyoung.”

“Hi.” He waved at everyone politely; everyone was ogling him mercilessly, though. “I’d introduce you to mine but they’ve already gone first.”

“Nah, that’s fine.”

“Uhh, see you… tomorrow, I guess?”

“Yep.”

Almost everyone around their table exhaled as soon as he left, he didn’t notice, but he was actually holding his breath, too. “Oh my god, he’s so hot.”

“I know.” For the first time, Jeonghan admitted it out loud. “But no distractions.”

“Good luck with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think about this chapter? But... really... just imagine cheol... you remember him? yeah he's hot. and really cute. Cutie baby.
> 
> Anyway! Please tell me what you think, and seriously, comments are my fuel and my drive, so... yeah, Enough! thank you very much.


	3. Chapter 3

It has been hours since Jeonghan got home with extra books clasped between his arms, hours since he’d decided to review all the notes he took last year, and hours since their encounter in the cafeteria. Now sitting cross legged reading the various side effects of shock therapy, he’s willing himself to go to sleep but he can’t. From years of training himself never to go to sleep without finishing everything he has to study. And now, despite the fact that he’s learned this last term, and that he’d aced the exams in these chapters, he can’t seem to stop unless he’s finished the entire topic.

When he did, though, he had to double take and reread the time because he can’t believe he’d been reading for 6 hours. After brushing his teeth, he decided to just give it up, he’s not going to lose a standing just because of a topic he’d already perfected.

Just when he turned his bedside lamp off, he heard a thud from the balcony.

He knows it’s his roommate, but he still opened his drawer for his Taser, but he needed to be sure.

“Why are you still awake?” a deep voice accompanied the face that peeked in. Evening Cheol is back, but this time, it’s not leather and tight fitting clothes, but instead, he had a loose fitting dress shirt, two opened buttons, exposing his bare chest, and that’s not just it, his hair is still up, but instead of last nights’ gelled-up and combed style, today, his forehead is still showing, but it’s just swept haphazardly to the side: which is so much hotter. 20 times hotter, and he did everything not to curse at himself for being so physically attracted to this person.

“I was studying.” He answered, finally pulling his eyes away from the others’ captivating presence. 

“Wow,” the moved into the light, which made Jeonghan notice another thing about his appearance, “Is that glitter?”

“Oh, this?” he tried to dust off some, but everybody knows that’s not going to be removed without bathing; not even then. “Someone got so wasted and threw glitter everywhere.” He smiled sheepishly, still kind of drunk, Jeonghan can still notice his eyes drooping and his movements kind of loose, but he wasn’t as drunk as he was yesterday, maybe one-thirds more sober; enough not to harass him, maybe.

“That’s going to be difficult to remove.” Jeonghan offered conversationally.

“True.” He muttered, pulling his towel from over the back of his chair with the tips of his fingers, afraid to get glitter all over it, he didn’t know why he also had to tiptoe, too, though. “Go to sleep,” he urged, motioning Jeonghan with his hands. “I wouldn’t want to interfere with a nerd’s education.” He chuckled. Seeing that Jeonghan was kind of accepting for teasing tonight, he added, “That’s the last thing I’d ever do!” with some accent Jeonghan can’t even pinpoint what.

“Shut up.” Jeonghan chuckled, allowing the lighthearted banter, knowing that it’s better to befriend a roommate.  
“Go to sleep, I’ll be quiet, I promise.” The other muttered quietly and solemnly. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

 

It was a cold Sunday morning and for once, Jeonghan didn’t have to get up early for his classes, so when he did, it was already kind of dark outside.

“Morning.” Seungcheol came in, sweating, and in his track jersey. He looked around, it really did look like past sunset for him.

“Morning?”

“Yeah, snow storm, its still 10.”

“Then why are you sweating?” It was extremely cold; Jeonghan had a sweater and a blanket covering him.

“I went to training.” In this weather?

“Why?”

“I have to.” They were new roommates; Jeonghan realized he’s not in any place to pry at someone else’s business. So he just let it go, despite the fact that he does notice his roommate shiver a little. Isn’t he going to get sick? 

“You need to bathe.” Jeonghan offered. His roommate sniffed himself consciously after that remark. “No, no.” he laughed, the implication shocking to him. “What I mean is you’re going to get sick if you stay longer in the cold while you’re sweating.” Although extremely miffed and embarrassed at his own suggestion, he tried to maintain a flat façade. Even his roommate seemed kind of touched.

“Yeah,” he nodded to himself, and Jeonghan noticed in the light that he still has some of the glitter from behind his ear. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Seungcheol was already on his way to the bathroom when he stopped, facing Jeonghan. “There’s a small pileup of snow outside so I just took the initiative and bought some microwavables in case you’re hungry.”

 

For weeks it went like that. Jeonghan staying up until dawn to study; of him opening up the balcony door for Seungcheol who seemed to be getting more tired from his nightly excursions, having microwavable breakfast on the floor, talking about school, exams, and sports, and almost anything under the sun. If he was to say they weren’t getting closer he’d be lying.

Seungcheol turned out to be so much fun. Both Evening and Morning Cheol. Evening Cheol was more reckless, and much much rowdier. Morning Cheol is careless, and a poor scatterbrained soul. He even got Jeonghan’s friends to befriend him. Well, considering how hot they think he is, there is absolutely no surprise there.

What surprised him most was that these days; he seemed to be hanging out with them more than his usual track and field buddies. Jeonghan was extremely busy with trying to keep up with his assignments and projects while Seungcheol was preparing for a track meet but every dawn and morning, they both always try and talk about their days.

“Can you compete like that?” Jeonghan inquired, lights off, both of them in their respective beds, waiting for sleep to engulf them both. But Jeonghan can’t stay still. He kept on imagining his roommates’ schedule. He has a class at 10am every day, his latest class ends at 7pm, he trains up until 9:30, he goes out to party at around 10:30 after he’s dressed in those absurd (but extremely confusing) clothes, comes home at around 4, sleeps and wakes up again at 9. That is a total of about 4 hours of sleep a day because of the hour that he spends talking with Jeonghan. Every. Day. While he trains for a track meet. While he studies for the prelims.

“What do you mean?” he whispered back.

“You’re swamped. Can you just… not party for at least one night? Aren’t you going to have alcohol poisoning with that?”

The other remained silent, Jeonghan thought he was already asleep, but then he sighed. “I want to.”

“You want to party?” he asked, incredulous. He knows Seungcheol wants to graduate on time, he tries his best and he studies a lot during his free time, he knows how important track and field is to him. Despite having minor problems with his ligaments and some injuries here and there, he never skipped practice. He remembers the time he even went despite the snow pile up outside.

In the weeks he’d tried to get to know him, he knows he’s passionate, he knows he’s hardworking, it’s just that the partying didn’t make much sense to him. Is he really that stressed that he has to go out every single night? What is with partying that he seems to love it incredibly?

He sighed once more, not really seeing the point in pushing him for answers. Handle your time better, you have about 5 hours of free time every day, if you don’t have assignments, sleep that off, if you do, do it, then sleep. Before exam week, you will study all weekend here with me, you will finish everything you have to study, no exceptions. You need more sleep.”

Seungcheol chuckled, if he wasn’t so invested with this he would have laughed at himself, too. “You sound so concerned.”

Jeonghan took a mental step back. Did he really? “Well,” he tried. “I’m the one who has to report a dead body if you die. I don’t want to mar my pristine record.”

“Sure, Jan.”

“What?”

“Nothing, I was just teasing.” He chuckled more, as if he wasn’t already losing more sleep because of this small talk.

“Go to sleep, you still have class.”

“Yes, mom.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop.”

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

 

“Hi, baby.” His mother greeted as soon as his father passed the phone.

“Hi, mom. What’s up? You sound tired.”

“Ah, it’s nothing. Minji quit and I’m the one manning the shop until we close.”

“When?”

“Last week.”

“Haven’t you found a replacement yet?”

“No. Hangyeol finishes at around 10, and then it’s my job to watch the shop until 2:30.” She fake cried, like she always does when she’s trying to coddle him.

“Aww, poor mommy.” The front door opened, revealing an obviously tired Seungcheol, making a beeline for the bathroom. “Hey, hey, you can’t take a bath right away, you’re going to get spasms.”

“Who are you talking to honey?”

Seungcheol looks like he was going to complain but he glared at him and pointed to his chair. “Sit.” He mouthed.

“It’s just my roommate, mom.”

“What about him?”

“He’s a track athlete and he’s making a straight beeline for the bathroom while he’s still sweaty. Tell him off, mom.” He put his mother on loudspeaker.

“Don’t do that!” she said in a really cute voice. Seungcheol smiled despite himself. “Anyway, baby I need to get some sleep so I can man the shop later.”

“Yes, mom. Please rest.”

When he put his phone down, Seungcheol was trying to wipe down his sweat, removing his shirt and trying to dry himself. In the time that they’ve been roommates, he’s seen Seungcheol without his shirt multiple times but it doesn’t change Jeonghan’s reaction to him. Jeonghan pulled up his feet to the chair, looking away. “I really need to take a bath now, it’s almost 10.” He murmured to himself.

“Why do you have to be there quick? It’s a party.”

“I don’t like being late.” He ran to the bathroom avoiding Jeonghan. 

He looked at his books and his notes, and figuring that he has studied for everything for the second time around, he is set, he will investigate. What is with these parties what makes his roommate run for it every single night?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After 5 hours, my mother finally got off my laptop and decided to continue playing Plants vs Zombies on her tab. Yes, mommy, let me post my gay fanfic first.
> 
> So I'm not usually a slow updater but I will be out of town for 2 days and I won't be able to write during that time. However, I do have one extra chapter prepared, so if I do finish chapter 5 by tonight, I will still have something to post for those two days hehe. I pray on the namahage that I don't grow lazy.
> 
> Please please
> 
> Anyway, tell me what you think about this chapter!  
> Thank very much for all the kind comments so far!


	4. Chapter 4

Jeonghan immediately pulled his thickest coat and wore his shoes and went after his roommate who just left. He kept a respectable distance, quieting his footsteps so ensure he wouldn’t be caught. 

He thought Seungcheol was going to turn right for the bus station, but he instead turned left, going into the entertainment section where no minors were allowed in any of the places. Well, they weren’t minors. And if he was going to party it should be a bar, really. But was Jeonghan ready? He has never step foot in any of those places. What if he’s required to drink something? He has never drunk liquor in his life.

Now, he realized how much of a lame-ass he was.

No. He isn’t lame. If he did drink, he was pretty sure he can handle a lot. He just chose not to. End of story. He’s not lame.

He stopped following Seungcheol, his presence was enough for Jeonghan to just sit by the bar and follow him by his eyes. 

“Hi.”

“No.” the creepy man slid away immediately after Jeonghan said it.

“Hi,” the bartender approached to his area, but he was so distracted by his Seungcheol’s figure disappearing from his line of sight. “Hey, you’re Cheol’s roommate, right?” He spun in his seat, taking a good look at the tall, serious, but good-looking bartender. “How did you know that?” He did look familiar but can’t pinpoint where he’d seen him before.

“We were having dinner in this barbeque place, and you and some of your friends bought some for takeout.” He wiggled his eyebrows, as if there was something else he should remember.

“Ah!” he suddenly remembered, oh, that fateful night. “Mingyu hit on you!”

“That’s his name? The candlestick?”

“Why is he a candlestick?”

“He’s thin and long.” The fuck.

“Wonwoo, isn’t it?”

“Yep.” He nodded. “Why are you here, are you going to watch Cheol?” he picked up a glass and started wiping it down.

“Watch him what?” he pointed at the stage, which by cue, started dimming, and there he was, behind four other boys, sitting behind a drum set.

“He’s in a band?” he asked Wonwoo. “Yeah, he works here every weeknight, you didn’t know that?”

He shook his head. No, he didn’t.

 

“Yo.” Seungcheol smiled as soon as he stepped into the room. He took a look at Jeonghan and stopped. “Why are you drinking that?” he looked at the can of beer Jeonghan bought on the way home. He read in one his books before that a moderate amount of beer in the system enhanced memory retention and is extremely good for studying.

“It’s good for studying.”

“I thought you don’t drink.” He smiled again, throwing his bag aside and sat on the floor by Jeonghan’s feet. 

“I wanted to try it.” He is much drunker today than he was the previous days. He figured that Seungcheol was only harassment or funny drunk when he’s had quite a lot. If he’s had drinks within his range, he comes home like he’s absolutely sober. Quietly, he pulled Jeonghan’s leg down gently by his ankle. He stared at his calves, touched his feet with his extremely freezing hands, and looked at it up and down, repeatedly.

“If you’re one of those people with foot fetishes I will kick your face.” He sounded like he was joking, and he was, but he’s quite sure if he was, he will really do it. Seungcheol laughed it off, though, and let his leg go. “It’s just that, they’re too soft, it’s like it’s never had to do much work in its’ life.” Jeonghan turned serious, remembering earlier this night, of Cheol bang bang banging on those drums. Those girls squealing for him, paying for them, asking them to join their tables, it looked like an easy job, but every time they take a few minutes after every song to drink some water and breathe, he sees that look in his eyes, the one Seungcheol has when he’s about to fall asleep; and he realized, he must be really tired.

Seungcheol pulled his legs from under his body and stretched it in front of them both, removing his sock, then removing his pants altogether. “Don’t worry, I have boxers underneath.” He giggled when Jeonghan gasped. “Jesus, Jeonghan you’re pessimistic, I’m not always out to harass you.” He laughed. And the he stretched.

Jeonghan can see the difference. His was smooth, almost squishy, meanwhile his was muscly, taut, still pretty, in a manly way, but you can observe his feet, calloused, and trembling slightly.

“I saw you.” Seungcheol whispered, but Jeonghan heard anyway. 

Suddenly he’s feeling guilty, for invading his privacy, for thinking it was okay to investigate someone without even thinking about how they would’ feel about it. He knows, it was out of his concern but this time, his intentions should be forgotten and he should focus on the result instead. The very thought that he might have hurt him and damaged their still developing friendship put a very unsettling feeling within Jeonghan. He doesn’t know what to do; does he pretend he didn’t hear him? Does he pretend he didn’t do it? 

There’s no sense in pretending and lying.

From then on, everything you say related to it will become a lie, and Jeonghan was tired of lying.

“I’m sorry.” He decided. He knows an apology never does undo a thing, but for him it’s the gesture. “I shouldn’t have pried, it was your business and if you wanted to keep it to yourself I should have respected that.” There are various moments in his life where Jeonghan realized he just doesn’t have a brain to mouth filter, but this time around, he made sure that the nonexistent filter worked for Seungcheol. He has one time to do this right and he can’t mess this up.

“That’s alright, I knew I was acting kind of shady anyway.” He smiled bitterly to himself. Jeonghan realized he had to look down on Seungcheol to make this conversation, so he stood, pushed away his chair, and sat down on the floor beside him.

“I was just worried about your schedule, you can’t keep this up.”

“I have kept this up.”

“For how long now?”

“Three years.” His friends have told him before about his compassion, and his thoughtfulness, but he didn’t realize how easily affected and attached he was with people he comes in contact with until that moment. As soon as Seungcheol said it, another weight settled in his chest, and a vision of an 18 year old Choi Seungcheol, keeping this schedule up, day and night, for more than one thousand days is almost too much for him to imagine.

“Aren’t you tired?” In spite of himself he felt himself tearing up. If there was a way to understand, if there was any way to help he could do it.

“I can’t be tired. I have to do this.” His indignant voice tells Jeonghan he is serious about keeping this up. Well, if the three years isn’t much evidence for that.

“Why?” he braved himself to ask.

Seungcheol looked at him in the eye, his expression unreadable, maybe to size him up, if he does deserve a big piece of private information he’s pretty sure nobody else knows. If he wouldn’t say he’d understand. 

“I’m an orphan now. It was two months before I finished High School when my mom died and my dad followed 3 months after.” He regretted asking it, it was too personal, it may be just additional information to him but this is Seungcheol’s heart.

“Cheol, maybe you shouldn’t—”

Seungcheol looked at him, with a pleasantly surprised expression in his face. “You called me Cheol.”

Jeonghan can’t believe it so much, he laughed. “Is that important right now?”

“Okay, okay, I’m going to continue.” But at least the atmosphere is much warmer now, the tense feeling gone with just one laugh. “So I had decided to stop going to school and work somewhere to fend for myself, but then on the day of our graduation, the track coach here invited me for a scholarship interview. But the scholarship only covered my tuition, books, and sports equipment; it doesn’t include the dorm or my living expenses. I need to go to practice all the time since it’s a requirement to maintain the scholarship, and I work in the bar to cover payments for the dorm and my living expenses.”

Jeonghan was quiet for a while, mulling things over. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

He shook his head, almost instantaneously. “I hid this because I didn’t want pity. Only the coach and some other school officials know. But I figured if there was someone I can trust it’s you.”

Jeonghan was already kind of touched then he added, “I mean, I already trust you not to murder me while I sleep, that’s the ultimate.”

“Stop it, I’m trying to be serious here.”

“I’m not aiming for serious!” he was smiling, his shy, gummy smile that he usually sees in Morning Cheol. Well, he’s the same person anyway. “I hope you wouldn’t think of me differently.”

“I do think of you differently now.” Cheol’s face scrunched up in disappointment when Jeonghan cleared it up. “You’re no longer the Seungcheol who likes to party, and get wasted on a school night. You’re now the Seungcheol who can take care of his own life. ResponsiCheol.”

“You didn’t just—”

“Sshh, I regretted it as soon as I said it, don’t remind me.”

Silence fell between them, as he stared at Seungcheol who had his eyes focused on his nails. Physical attraction had always been there; he was admittedly hot and extremely good looking, but for the first time since he’s started to get to know him, this is the first time Jeonghan is looking at him in a different light. In a totally different form from when he met him. 

Two months ago, if he were to associate him to a color, he was black, red, and navy blue. But now, Seungcheol is sky blue, peach, and maybe still a little bit of that red. He isn’t Choi Seungcheol if he isn’t in the slightest bit sexy.

“What?” Cheol looked at him, “Do I have something on my face?”

Jeonghan looked away, denying the fact the technically has been ogling him.

“Jeonghan, you know what?”

"What?"

“I need to go bathe then go to sleep it’s already 5:30.”

“What the fuck?! Why didn’t you tell me?” he sprang up from where he sat and fixed his table. “You still have a class!”

“I can just skip it.”

“What? No.”

“I haven’t skipped one day in my life, except for excuse ones for competition, I think the school will let me go this once.”

“Are you sure? I can’t believe I stalled you that long.”

“You don’t have to worry.” He stood and leaned in to Jeonghan slightly, not unlike the first time they met, but this time a much more welcome invasion of space. “You’re such a worrier, stop it.” He smiled, still with his face too close.

He stuck his tongue out and pat his head. 

His roommate smile one last time before turning around and jumping to his bed; Jeonghan didn’t know what it was but there was a warm feeling spreading across his chest, but he doesn’t want to name it.

No distractions, he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still out of town and I still haven't finished writing the next chapter but I will try my best to update regularly. The storyline is already fixed in my brain so there wouldn't be any problems just as soon as I find the time to type them all here hehehe. I hope this chapter will be enough for the silence, though!
> 
> Please give me your feedback through the comment section below, or as some of you had already done, you can always @ or dm me at my twitter, @choisoftcheol so we can always talk about your reactions, and suggestions. Thank you very much!


	5. Chapter 5

“Seungcheol hyung!” Jeonghan jumped from his seat when Mingyu suddenly called out loudly. Jeonghan turned to look if he wasn’t actually joking, but there he was—but with someone trailing behind him, which made Mingyu regret calling him instantly.

“Hi, guys. This is my friend Wonwoo, Jeonghan, you already know him, right?” Jeonghan nodded and greet Wonwoo and asked them to sit with them.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Wonwoo asked in his much quieter, non-bar voice.

“Of course, it’s alright. Right, Mingyu?” Jisoo turned to Mingyu’s direction, who was trying his best not to look at them.

“Hmm, yeah.” He nodded fervently; still avoiding everybody’s teasing gazes. Ever since the incident where he was extremely drunk and hit on Wonwoo, they hadn’t had the chance to tease him about it, yet. This is the perfect chance for it.

Just when the teasing started, he suddenly remembered he had something important to tell Seungcheol regarding their conversation five nights ago.

“So Wonwoo,” Soonyoung put his chin over his hand in a fake attempt to “listening”. “What are your initial impressions regarding our dear friend, Mingyu, here?” Mingyu groaned in embarrassment. He wanted to stay for the Mingyu torture session but if he wants to get this done by today, he doesn’t have any other chance to talk to him one on one.

Cheol was already anticipating and smiling but Jeonghan decided to pull him aside. “Can I talk to you for a while?”

He looked confused but followed Jeonghan out to the hallway anyway. Jeonghan didn’t know how to say it in a manner that doesn’t offend his roommate, but as soon as the idea came to him, it just seemed too perfect to let go.

“How much do you exactly make at the bar?”

Seungcheol smiled, he might have thought this was more serious. “Around 1 million won per month.” For a student living from his parents’ money and not actually having to think about his own finances, Jeonghan doesn’t have any idea if that’s enough.

“Wait here.” He motioned to Seungcheol while he runs back to the cafeteria. “Guys, guys,” everybody paused from the roasting festival to look at him. “Does anyone of you know how much we pay for the dorm?”

“Around 800,000 won per month.” Seokmin answered.

“That much?”

“Well, I’ve never actually thought about it but, yeah, technically, that much.” He thanked Seokmin and ran back to Seungcheol.

“So apparently,” he panted. “You earn 1 million won in a month, and you spend 800,000 won just for the dorms alone?” Thinking that that is actually the norm, the other just nodded earnestly.

“So you have around 200,000 for food?” That is nearly enough, he thinks.

“Well, if I don’t have to pay for other organizational fees, school supplies, and savings for projects, then yeah, I have 200,000.” He shrugged, smiling. This is where it finally sunk in. Seungcheol must be having an extremely difficult time.

“I know you didn’t want any pity,” Jeonghan began, gaining an ‘I don’t’ from the man in front of him. “But it just so happened that my mom needs someone to work for our shop’s closing time.” The others’ brows perked up.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I have job offer.” He pressed. “I talked to my mom earlier today about it, and she said she can give you the closing shift which is from 10pm to 2am. I know that’s kind of earlier than what you’re used to at the bar, and it’s kind of farther than the bar, but what I thought is that at least you’d have extended hours to sleep, that can buy you 2 hours more which means 6 to 7 hours of sleep everyday—that would be enough for an athle—” Jeonghan was cut off when he was pulled into a warm body against his own. He didn’t realize he was being hugged until the hand on his back moved slightly.

His heartbeat immediately increased in its’ pace; Jeonghan has no idea why its’ doing that, it has never done that before. Not knowing what to do, he pat the other on his back, returning the hug, although almost awkwardly. But can anybody blame him? The warmth in his chest is back and he doesn’t like not knowing what it is. All he knows is it comes every single physical contact, wide gummy smiles, and the realization of the others’ perseverance and kindness.

“I don’t know what I did in my past life to deserve you.” The other murmured, letting him go. He cupped Jeonghan’s face and patted it, thanking him. “If it’s not too much trouble, I would love to take that job.” Once upon a time Yoon Jeonghan was never fazed, never flushed; but all that is gone now. That was pre-Choi Seungcheol Jeonghan. This Jeonghan is a bundle of nerves, warm, and blushing. He did try his best to contain his smiles, though.

When he came across the idea, all he felt was doubt, afraid that he might offend him. What he didn’t expect was to get a hug, a pat, and his favorite all-gum smile.

“So tell your employer you’re quitting, okay? This is good for my mom, too.”

“Yup, right away.” He took out his phone and Jeonghan told him he’ll wait at the cafeteria.

 

 

Jeonghan fidgeted with his fingers while he was showing the way to their shop just a few blocks away from their house. “Why are you fidgeting, are you okay?” Seungcheol on the surface sounded like he was genuinely concerned, but Jeonghan knew he was just teasing.

“You’re my recommendation; I need to present you properly.” Jeonghan replied.

“What are we, applying for a fortune-45 company? This is your family business. Nerd.” In his life, only Jisoo calls him nerd, some were too cautious to even try. He looked at the man beside him and smiled from some unknown positive emotion filling him.

“You called me nerd.” He pointed out.

The panic on his roommates face was comical. “Oh my God, I didn’t think properly when I said it. I’m really sorry if—”

“Calm your horses,” Jeonghan chuckled, finally seeing the street their shop is in. “I’m not offended, I’m just…” he looked for the appropriate word, “Happy you’re comfortable enough to call me nerd now.”

The other released a deep sigh and laughed as Jeonghan pointed the small bright shop, labelled ‘pharmacy’. “You run a pharmacy?” Jeonghan has called it ‘shop’ enough times for the other to consider it a convenience store.

“It’s the only one that stays up this late in this area so on rainy days, it gets kind of busy for some cold medicine, that’s alright, right?”

“Of course! This is already so much better than the bar.” Jeonghan liked how wide the others’ smile was. They both went in, Jeonghan coming in first to greet his mother.

“Hi, mom.” He kissed her on the cheek and turned to introduce Cheol. “Mom, this is who I was telling you about, Choi Seungcheol, he’s my roommate, and he’s perfect for this job, mom, I assure you. He’s been working as a band drummer in a bar for 3 years, does a lot of other work for the bar, he’s hardworking—” he stopped abruptly when his mom held her hand up.

“I’m sure he’s a fast learner,” he peeked at Cheol not unkindly. “I can train him, there’s no problem, baby, you don’t have to be worried.” She went out from behind the pharmacy counter. “Hangyeol, we’re already talked about your extra shift today, right?” she spoke to a girl crouching over a box Seungcheol had not noticed. “Yes.” She nodded, smiling at her.

“We’ll be back before it’s over.” She said as she pulled both boys out. “I prepared some fruits for you both, let’s go home and eat and let’s have a talk.”

 

 

Jeonghan observed while his mother and Seungcheol fell into a conversation, entering their house like they’ve done this a million times. “Your house is so nice, Ms. Lee.” His roommate commented, like he wasn’t even there. “Oh no, dear, it’s mom to you.” Seungcheol did look like he was questioning the action but he accepted anyway.

“Mom!” Jeonghan complained.

“Oh shush, you.” They entered their house and she immediately invited the other to sit and not his own son.

“I’d be happy to take a seat, mom.” He muttered.

“Why are you here?” his sister suddenly came out from her room. Seungcheol looked taken aback for a second before he realized she was talking to Jeonghan. “Didn’t I already tell you to never come back?” he menacing words didn’t really match the strawberry pajamas and the bear she was clutching… and the small voice.

“Well, I can do whatever I want and I never really listen to you, are you really that surprised?” Jeonghan bit back, less menacing than his sisters.

“Quit it, we have a visitor.” His father entered the room, still in his glasses, and that’s when she realized Seungcheol was actually in the living room. She squealed, ran back to her room and promised she was going to change and then come back. Sometimes Jeonghan forgets how much he looks like his father.

“Hi, dad.”

“Who’s this?” he sat on his usual seat and shook Cheol’s hand.

“This is Seungcheol, my roommate.”

“For the pharmacy, dad.” His mother replied, entering the room, kissing the top of his head, putting the bowl of fruit in front of them. His father clasped her hand and kissed it. Jeonghan sometimes wondered how it would feel like, to fall in love that deeply, and to be loved just as much.

She invited them to get eating as they talked about Cheol; his education, trying to cope up with fending for himself, and even his dreams for the future.

“I know I can’t be an athlete forever,” he began, despite the fact that it was the first time meeting them, Jeonghan liked how comfortable they all already were. “So I either want to be a coach, or really use my major.” Now that he’s mentioned it, Jeonghan is quite sure he doesn’t remember what Seungcheol’s major was.

“What’s your major again?”

Seungcheol turned to him, smiling. “You don’t remember my major? That’s like, the second information you ever knew about me.”

Jeonghan scanned his brain, he knows he read it from his ID but what is it? No idea. “My brain has a lot of information, muscle-brain, I can’t keep everything in here.” He spat. Seungcheol laughed, like he always does when Jeonghan acts sassy. He turned to Jeonghan’s parents again, ignoring his forgetful roommate. “I’m majoring in Kinesiology.”

“What do you do after that?”

“Almost anything physical. I can be a swimming teacher, an athletic trainer, fitness instructor, nutrition coach, health teacher.” He enumerated. His parents looked pleased.

“Well, sign me up! Good lord knows I can’t keep up with this one.” He smiled at his wife playfully, making Jeonghan catch the innuendo.

But his sister beat him to it, “Ew!”

“Seriously, guys, stop.” Jeonghan fake gagged, making Seungcheol laugh.

After a few moments, he excused himself to go to the bathroom, and as soon as he was out of earshot, all eyes were immediately on him.

“Your boyfriend is perfect.”

 

WHAT?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FOR THE FIRST TIME IT TOOK ME TOO LONG TO UPDATE GOODBYE EARTH okay so I finally have this up and this is still unedited so imma check it out later, please forgive typos, grammatical and spelling errors. 
> 
> So what did you think of this chapter? I know it ends kind of abruptly but I have the next chapter (kind of) ready so I will be updating either tonight or tomorrow.
> 
> Please tell me what you thought of this chapter in the comments section  
> or you can dm me at twt @choisoftcheol
> 
> Thank you very much for the kind feedback!


	6. Chapter 6

“What? He’s not, no, I would never, what, no, why would you, no?” Jeonghan tried to give a coherent reply but that doesn’t really seem to work.

“I knew you swing that way but I never thought you had good taste.” His sister commented and sat beside their mother.

“He’s responsible, polite, kind, and very good-looking, too!” his mother added.

“His ability to provide for himself makes him an extremely suitable candidate for a husband—”

“Okay that’s it! He’s not my boyfriend, okay?” he loud whispered; cautious that the other might hear them. “And what’s up with the husband thing, dad? It’s not that deep.”

“Then what’s with the wistful, fond stares?”

“The intense staring?”

“The, ‘mom we need to help him he’s the bestest person in the planet, and he can’t live like this he’s so tired’ with the slight crying?”

“I wasn’t crying.” He muttered defensively.

“Sobbing, then.” Mothers should have not this amount of power and knowledge.

“And I haven’t been staring at him; neither has he.” Jeonghan didn’t want to think about it, he didn’t know and didn’t want to define what he felt for the other, it might just be extreme fondness, Seungcheol is different from his other friends anyway, he didn’t know. And more, he didn’t want to think about his roommates’ perception of him.

“Oh, please—” his sister rolled his eyes but then she stopped as soon as Seungcheol walked back in.

 

They were back at the pharmacy, after Jeonghan’s struggle to pull his roommate away from his clingy dad and sister. “Your family is really nice.” Jeonghan grunted until he remembered Cheol doesn’t have a family to compare his to, so he doesn’t really know they’re just annoying housemates, and now he feels really somber again. So he decided to nod, patting his arm.

“They can be your family, too, if you want.” Initially he just wanted to offer since his parents already wanted to, obviously, but it was already too late when he realized what it indirectly meant. “I mean, we’re friends, and you know, a friends’ family can be your family, too.” He tried to save it, but he admits it, he has never been good at saving his own mishaps.

Seungcheol smiled, almost fondly, and touched his hair. “Sure.” He continued playing with Jeonghan’s hair gently, focusing on the top of his head.

Jeonghan liked it. Nobody but his family knew it, but he actually wants his back and head scratched whenever he has difficulty in sleeping and he always asked his mom to do it for him. Now that he lives in a dorm, he has a scratcher he keeps in his bedside table so can scratch his own back until he fell asleep.

His mother suddenly walked in and smiled at them both, not innocently. “Come here.” He motioned for Cheol to move to the back of the counter with her as Jeonghan settled for the table and chair in one corner, sitting down, and opening one of his psychology books.

“Hey,” Seungcheol called out to him while his mother was busy preparing the computer to teach Seungcheol how to look for specific medicine. “Why aren’t you leaving?”

“You want to get rid of me?”

“You know I don’t mean it like that.”

“I know.” He looked at him straight in the eye. “It makes me sleepy to study in our room, I’d rather stay here with you so we can walk back to the dorm together.”

“But my shift ends at 2, that way past the last call.”

“You can just teach me how to,” he paused; making sure his mother wasn’t looking when he made climbing actions.

“What? No.”

“Too bad, I’m staying.” He didn’t really know what that was about but he just wants to stay here with him. Maybe it’s also because of the pharmacy; he spent a lot of hours studying here while his mother did her shift.

Seungcheol sighed, but immediately smiled in front of his mom, looking at the list of medicine she was showing him. Jeonghan decided to busy himself with his book and stop paying attention to them.

 

Jeonghan didn’t even notice the time passing. He only noticed when his mom and Seungcheol actually start closing up. “It’s 2am, let’s go home.” From some reason, when his mom said that, he’s still picturing out the dorm.

“I’m going to the dorm today, mom. I have an exam at 9.” His mom nodded solemnly while he tried to shove all his books into his bag. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay, you take care both of you.” Seungcheol muttered something about taking her home but then Jeonghan’s father came through the door and assured the two boys they’ll be alright.

It’s a cold night and Jeonghan seemed to find himself giggling. The road was slightly well lit, and Seungcheol is spooked. “What are you giggling for?”

“I don’t know.” He giggled. To be honest he didn’t know. This day is just too positively unexpected, he can’t help but be giggly about it. “My mom likes you, though.” If that wasn’t already obvious.

“Yeah, I noticed. I don’t think I’m very likeable, so I was kind of surprised.” He shivered, clutching his arms.

“What are you talking about?”

“What?”

“You’re not unlikeable.”

His roommate smiled, shrugging. “This is a refreshing change, though. Instead of our 1 hour daily updates we can just talk during these walks.”

Jeonghan nodded. Subtracting that, and the 2 hours he saves from the new shift, it adds to 3 more hours to sleep for his roommate; and that makes him immensely pleased with himself.

As soon as the university dorm came into view, the immediate problem came into Jeonghan’s brain. “I forgot about this.”

“You’ll be alright; you look like you’re light.”

“What do you mean?” He didn’t even get the chance to think of anything else before his bag was taken from him, and a pair of arms came around his hips and carried him.

“What—” he panicked, hitting Cheol. “Put me down!”

“We can’t come back if you’re like this.” He laughed. “There’s a nice bar on your right, hold on to that while I push you up.”

“What do you mean—” again, he hasn’t had any idea what was going on, all he can absorb is the large hand on his ass, pushing his up, until he’s over the gate and jumping down on the other side. He was panting and he can’t believe his roommate just had his hand on his ass a few moments ago.

“Get used to it, there’s still the balcony.”

 

When he finally landed on their room balcony, he was second guessing his decision to come with his roommate every single night. That means he’d have to climb the dorm gate and their balcony every damn night.

But still, he still wanted to.

His roommate landed beside him and grinned, handing him his backpack.

 

Despite the exhausting day, Jeonghan still thought it was quite enjoyable. Maybe because he’s with one of the people he thought he most enjoyed his time with.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. You don’t have to come with me tomorrow, I promise.”

“No, I want to.” He really does. Jeonghan sat on his study table. He doesn’t know what it is. Jeonghan loves his sleep, Jeonghan loves being on the top of his class, but right now, he’s in the middle of juggling everything over wanting to accompany Seungcheol with his shift. Studying there, talking during the walks, finishing his assignments on the short span of time between the end of his classes and track practice; he’s like a madman, trying to put everything onto place.

“Really?” His roommate grabbed a seat and sat between his legs. “Don’t you want to sleep that time off?”

He looked into the others’ eyes, looking at those dark browns, almost knowing an entire human being with just a color. “No.” he shook his head, simply answering.

He might have been imagining it, but the other looked relieved with his answer. He smiled, scratching Jeonghan’s chin. For some unknown reason, that was comforting, too. And honestly made his heart skip a beat. What the fuck is going on with him?

His roommate took it one step forward, pulling Jeonghan’s calves together, resting his head on Jeonghan’s thighs. “Is this okay?” he whispered. He decided to just fuck it, and gave in to what he wanted to do, raised his thighs up, and bent to reach the others’ nape, and kiss it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHAHA as I promised aiavena, about 1 chapter from now hehehehe
> 
> PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK
> 
> THANK YOUUUUUUU


	7. Chapter 7

Jeonghan just sat there, contemplating his stupidity. Thinking how much of an idiot would kiss his roommate in the nape without a slight investigation of the real circumstances. He sat there for God knows how long while Cheol just stayed in his former position, head on his lap, still frozen.

For what it seemed like forever, Cheol raised his read from Jeonghan’s lap and stared at him. Jeonghan struggled with what to say. Should he tell the truth? Should he make excuses?

“I thought it would make you comfortable.” He croaked, visibly flushing.

“It’s okay.” He rose from his seat, turning to his bed and grabbed his towel. “I just didn’t know you were affectionate.” Jeonghan was feeling so many things. He was relieved the other didn’t take it too seriously, and deflated by the fact that the other seemed so nonchalant about it, like it hadn’t affected him one bit.

“I’m not.” Jeonghan answered honestly.

“Well, I’m glad to be on the receiving end of that affection.” He chuckled and stood in front of him again. “I must warn you, I’m extremely affectionate, too.” He leaned into Jeonghan, too near, cradled the back of his head, and placed a kiss on his temple before turning back quickly and heading to the bathroom. He didn’t know if in some galaxy roommates did this, but he does not plan on pointing that out anytime in the future.

 

It was 3am, two hours before they usually start preparing for bed and Jeonghan is still restless. He kept tossing and turning while he can see his roommates’ cellphone light was still on. Trying not to disturb him, he’s been tossing in his bed slowly and he thinks it contributes to his restlessness.

“Can’t sleep?” a voice from the other side of the room asked.

“Nah, I’m fine. Stop playing with your phone, go to sleep.” Jeonghan tossed, shutting his eyes, willing himself to go to sleep. He can still hear his heartbeat against his chest, it has been doing since Cheol kissed his temple, and he can’t get it to stop no matter how hard he tries.

Suddenly, the other side of the bed dipped as someone sat on his bed. He turned, it was Seungcheol. He put his hand on Jeonghan’s head and scratched it gently. “What are you doing?” he said, getting slightly drowsy.

“I noticed it makes you sleepy.” He murmured quietly.

“You need to go to sleep.”

“After you.”

“You’re so hard headed.”

“Good night, Han.”

He exhaled, seeing no use in arguing with him; he so stubborn. “Good night, Cheol.”

 

He was walking to the library with Jisoo when they spotted Seungcheol in the crowd. “Cheol ah!” he called out. The others’ head bobbed up, immediately trying to see the source of the sound. “Choi Seungcheol!” he turned to Jeonghan’s direction, and when their eyes met, he smiled a certain smile that Jeonghan just liked at first, and eventually turned his insides to instant mush.  He can’t help but smile back. They walked slowly towards each other, still smiling.

“Where are you going?”

“Library.”

“I was, too. You know, following your advice.”

“Let’s go together.”

“Yeah, sure.” He didn’t know what was up but they both can’t put their stupid grins away.

“Hi, Seungcheol.” Jisoo suddenly interjected.

“Oh, hi!” he looked kind of confused for a while. “How long have you been here?”

“The whole time.” Jeonghan didn’t understand it, too, but Jisoo plastered a smile of his own, but absolutely with a different meaning.

 

“What’s up with you and Choi?” Jisoo immediately asked as their group was completed in the cafeteria eating dinner before walking back home; well, minus Cheol.  

“What do you mean what’s up with us?” he feigned ignorance, despite the fact that his parents just attacked him with the same line of questioning the night before.

“Your smiles, they’re too wide and cheesy, all teeth. All teeth, Yoon Jeonghan! You never smile full teeth!”

“I do!” he said defensively, biting on his apple.

“Not like that.” Jisoo added quietly, no longer teasing and playing around. Jeonghan sighed. Aside from his parents, if there was a person he couldn’t hide things from, it was Josh. “This afternoon, we were all on the way to the cafeteria and it was like I was no longer there. Not that I’m bitter, it’s just they immediately went to their own bubble. Seungcheol didn’t even notice I was there.” His tone turned back to teasing.

“That’s hardcore.” Soonyoung commented.

“Spill, Yoon.”

“There’s nothing!”

Jisoo shook his head, chuckling. “You’ve liked other people before but you always spill. Why are you being so secretive right now?”

“Because there’s nothing!” he bit, inserting a positive tone to ensure it doesn’t get serious.

“If you say so.” His best friend shrugged, unsure if he really has dropped the topic. Soonyoung, Mingyu, and Seokmin were still looking at him funny though.

 

Jeonghan bid them goodbye turning to the other direction, but Jisoo caught up, smiling up at him. “You’ve liked other people before, but not like this.” He smiled well naturedly, patting Jeonghan on the arm. “Tell me if you need anything to hook him, I’m in.” If there was any indication of his admittance, it was his silence and refusal to correct his best friend.

 

 

About a week after that, Jeonghan can’t stop thinking about it, what is it really? It was a weekend and he thought he already have a procrastinate free pass. He was just drawing and coloring on the floor when his roommate came out of the shower.

Well, he was Choi Seungcheol. He was hot. Extremely good looking.  And look at those ears. They’re huge, but who cares, it’s cute. But yeah, aside from that, he’s really hardworking, really really kind, sometimes he’s even indescribable. Jeonghan’s pretty sure he was created while God was in a good mood.

“Why are you staring?” Jeonghan didn’t notice he was.

“I’m not.” He denied, going back to his coloring. “I was just staring into the distance.”

“Okay, weirdo.” He sat down in front of him on the floor, “What are you doing?”

“Coloring.”

“Aren’t you going to study?”

“I realized that being Summa Cum Laude for both courses isn’t actually that fancy sounding after all.” He murmured as he pulled a hot pink colored pencil from his case.

“What makes you think that?” Seungcheol asks, quite seriously, leaning nearer into Jeonghan.

Jeonghan stared at him square in the face, looking at his eyes, his nose, his lips, and he thinks he would like to draw that sometime.

“I think,” he began. “Being a sports scholar, maintaining a respectable GPA despite the busy schedule, and proving that I can raise myself sounds far cooler.”  Seungcheol frowned, thoughtful.

“Don’t think that.” His hand went to Jeonghan’s back, soothing it up and down. “You’re really diligent, and you’re also responsible and good with time management.” He nodded, putting his chin on Jeonghan’s shoulder. “BS Biology Summa cum Laude, BS Psychology Summa cum Laude? That sounds extremely cool, too.” He lowers his voice, being his mouth near Jeonghan’s ear.

“But… academics? Does that really sound cool? Be honest.”

“Of course, it sounds cool. Plus, you also look good when you study, all serious and thoughtful, when you’ve gone through the sentence multiple times you pout, you bite all your pens, that’s the main reason I can tell ours apart.” He chuckled to himself. Jeonghan stopped coloring altogether, he was just focusing on the face on his shoulder, pouting a little, obviously wanting his attention.

“How did you know that?” he whispered.

“You’re not the only one who’s staring.” Cheol whispered back, his minty breath fanning Jeonghan’s face. Closing his eyes and smiling to himself.

Jeonghan looks at him, the warmth in his chest, plus the giddy and giggly feeling in his stomach, and the biggest urge to cup his face convinces Jeonghan that he might be in too deep now, without even noticing it.

“Seungcheol?” he whispered, observing the slight twitch in the others’ smile when he did.

“Hmm?” he hummed, slowly opening his eyes and looking straight at Jeonghan with his beautiful brown eyes, blinking with those long, long, lashes Jeonghan resists the urge to count. He’s so near, he can just do it, if he just took that leap of faith.

“I’m tired.” He mumbles, the others’ eyes widen but he stops him. “I’m tired of pretending you don’t make everything inside of me into chaos.” He stares into the others’ eyes, totally expressive in light of his recent confession. He can’t read it, though, but he thinks it’s somewhere between confusion and panic. “I’m so tired of holding it in. I’m sorry.” He added.  He didn’t know slight confessing was this difficult.

Is he even confessing? He’s not saying it deliberately, but it’s the point, right?

He feels like he has been unloaded with the exact feelings he translated into words but reloaded by the apprehension, the fear that he has rushed into this, that he has taken it too far, and he has read the signs wrong. He’s in a state of panic, somewhere it between trying to take it back and fighting with himself with the knowledge that it is true and there’s no sense denying it any longer. If he did, he’s pretty sure he will explode.

So when Seungcheol’s face came even closer to his, he tried to be brave, took a bold step, and turned his head onto the others’ direction.

As soon as his lips touched his, he knew, he was fucked.

Eternally, and royally fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -
> 
>  
> 
> And I as a author who's been writing all these chapters during like 1 to 5am acting like cheol who has to pay for everything in his life, am fucked.
> 
> I need to sleep hahahaha give me sleep, Lord, I beg u.
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, what did you think about this chapter?
> 
> Please leave a comment or you can dm at twt @choisoftcheol
> 
>  
> 
> SEE YOU DER SPYDER


	8. Chapter 8

Choi Seungcheol is definitely fucked.

Ever since he saw the blonde standing in front of him with his arms crossed in the balcony door, he was certain; this man isn’t going to make his life easy.

What he thought then was, he was going to make things easier for Seungcheol in a way that he would be banning noise, locking the balcony door every single day, lights preferably turned on while sleeping, those kinds of things.

What he didn’t expect was butterflies, butterflies; a whole damn armada in his chest, and a singular, strong urge to cry—or fly, whenever he sees him.

He didn’t notice when it started; all he remembers is one night, he was sitting in his bed, getting ready to sleep, and Yoon Jeonghan was still reading—that book again? And at his estimation, at the same area he was reading last time.

And he was staring; he couldn’t stop. His eyebrows knit together, pouting, like he always does when he doesn’t understand what he’s reading. As far as he can remember, that was the first time he felt it; that intense slowly creeping feeling flowing from his gut to his chest, tightening that entire area. He had to inhale deeply, trying to exhale the feeling away.

A not so similar feeling but an equally scary feeling like this covers his entire being every during his track meets, but he always expels the feeling with three deep breaths. But it’s different this time; he’s been inhaling and exhaling like a madman, it caught his roommates’ attention, but the feeling doesn’t seem to go away. If anything, it seems to have intensified.

What is this?

What is going on with him?

He looked away; forcing himself to shake away the thought, knowing nothing will come out from it. His roommate is far from friendly with him; Jeonghan treats him as a roommate, a schoolmate, and nothing more. And plus, this is maybe just because he thinks his roommate is handsome, and nothing more.

Just a little crush, yes, that’s it.

 

 

For some reason, Jeonghan keeps initiating conversation nowadays. He may be a little tipsy and 100% drunk on some days, but something just keeps drawing him to the other person, trying his best to stay awake, to seem energetic, just to keep the conversation flowing. There was one time his eyes drooped for a second and the other immediately ceased the conversation and pushed him to the bathroom.

He likes talking with Jeonghan, knowing about his day, listening to him talk, hearing how he feels; he can just listen to him for an entire day.

With these conversations, he has picked up Jeonghan’s habits, even his habit of scratching his own back and massaging his head whenever he finds it difficult to fall asleep. He was adorable, and hot, and endearing, and smart, and kind, and sometimes even funny. He seems to find everything about Jeonghan endearing; even that—especially that small chip in his front teeth; sometimes he focuses on it while Jeonghan talks.

Sometimes he thinks he should stop, he might be coming off creepy, but Jeonghan just continues on like he notices nothing.

 

 

Jeonghan is thoughtful.

Whenever they have deep conversations, he never sits higher than him. He always goes down on the floor to his level, always looking at him in the eye, and in every turn, step, thinking and conscious about his feelings.

He hasn’t thought about his own feelings in a long time, he’s been too busy trying to juggle his every day that he hasn’t really paid much attention to his feelings, or even others’ protection of them. It was at this moment, Jeonghan quietly apologizing about following him to the bar, that Jeonghan, right now, has his heart, and he’s holding that tiny thing in his hands like one small movement will break him.

He isn’t weak, he knows that.

But instead of having the impression that Jeonghan is looking at him lowly, and fragile, he sees Jeonghan treat his heart like a diamond, like he doesn’t even deserve to hold it.

And he warms. Everything in him, his entire being warms. And in that moment, he locks this human being into the section in his brain and in his heart that says: Most Important People.

 

He was in his friends’ Wonwoo and Junhui’s dorm room, having light drinks, talking, and they asked him about Jeonghan. He went on and on about him, about his adorable habits, the way he laughs, the one Jeonghan considers as his ‘big’ laugh which is about half of his friends’ laughs, the moles on his face, his hands, his soft calves, the sound of giggle, even his teeth chip.

He informs them about Jeonghan offering him a job; mainly to assist him with his chaotic schedule, and Wonwoo cuts him off.

“Oh my God, hyung.” He murmured in his deep voice. Staring at Seungcheol like he has grown horns and 4 more fingers on each hand; Junhui is staring at him in the same manner.

“What?”

 

“You’re in love with this guy.” He was about to retort, saying ‘I’m not in love with Yoon Jeonghan’ about to refute it; about to add how ridiculous it is; but as he was about to say the words, he realized that they weren’t true at all.

That he was in love.

Without noticing.

Without denying it.

And he realizes once again, that he’s fucked.

 

 

It’s funny how they call it ‘falling’ in love.

If he was falling, he would have screamed when he did, he would have been screaming the entire time he was falling; but right now, in this moment, he’s just realized it, and he’s already ankle deep, shit, he’s even hell deep, and he didn’t even notice the entire time it was happening.

Sure, he had the symptoms.

But in actual falling, you know that you are.

In falling in love, in this case, he didn’t even know what he was getting into.

And now, in Jeonghan’s lap, just right after his nape was kissed, he knows this isn’t the falling in love you see in the movies, the ones that take them a single night of sex to fall in love, a single night of conversation, a single act of kindness, or a single act of consciousness. No. That is actual falling in love, hard and fast.

This is easing into love. Slowly. Months of conversation, hundreds of laughters, one hug, thousands of pats in the head, that’s all it took. Maybe he did fall like the others; one laugh, one hum, one note into song, one smile; he just didn’t notice. Because the man in front of him is much more fascinating than trying to solve the puzzle, and calming the storm brewing in him; he’s much more interesting.

He moved away, maybe after sneaking in one chin scratch, he turned away, fearing his heart pushing him into doing the reckless. But when he turned back, looking into his scared and panicked eyes, he knew he had to do something, that he needed to put him at ease.

Whether it was an act of fondness, of comfort, or whatever, it was obvious Jeonghan quite regretted it; quite feared he would react negatively. He wants to let him know, that it’s okay, that it did not disgust him, just surprised him, and that if anything, he was actually the one with the actual motive to kiss.

And he did just that.

After kissing Jeonghan’s temple, he wanted to melt into it him, to wrap his arms around him, to know how it actually feels like to feel his heartbeat against him; but he’s afraid.

Afraid Jeonghan might hear his. Afraid that Jeonghan might have thought an innocent kiss to his most accessible part is fine, no homo, hell, everything can be no homo as long as you expressed it, anything can be denied; but his heartbeat didn’t lie. He held it, and pulled away.

 

 

When has this happened?

When has he gotten so far deep that he knows he might have to pull himself away sooner or he’d be a goner.

So right now, with his head on Jeonghan’s shoulder, risking it, trying to see his reaction to him being too close, trying to calculate his movements, even braving a hand soothing Jeonghan’s back, hell, let’s push this. If Jeonghan reacts negatively, he can always just pull away first, deny the intimacy of the moment, change rooms, and go back to his old job, he just quit it, he can just take it back.

“I’m tired.” Jeonghan muttered.

Oh no. He has definitely gone too far, this has actually reached Jeonghan’s limit. This is it. He’s gonna have to move away, he can’t talk to him anymore, just because he was too weak and pushed it too far. “I’m tired of pretending you don’t make everything inside of me into chaos.”

His heart skipped a beat, but no, he shouldn’t misunderstand. What is he trying to say? “I’m tired of holding it in, I’m sorry.” The other whispered, it almost wasn’t there, but he’s sure he heard it. Does Jeonghan feel the same way?

Is it possible?

He makes Jeonghan’s insides turn into chaos?

What else does that mean?

Maybe food poisoning?

Maybe sick?

Maybe he disgusts him?

Only one way to know. If what he said was other than a confession, he’s going to have to just risk it. He decides, fuck it, and leans into the other.

With all the other explanations running through his mind at that time, most of them negative, the least he expected was for the other to lean into him, reach him halfway, and return the kiss.

 

The kiss was quiet, just a small, simple peck. Jeonghan put his hand on his nape and presses his lips down on his own, hard, before letting go. His roommate rested his forehead on his, though, eyes closed, and smiling a little.

“I think I’m in love with you.” Seven words were all it took for the feeling in his chest to spread. He has absolutely no fucking idea how to describe it. All he knows is he wants to laugh, he wants to scream, he wants to roll around the floor, over all, he wants to cry.

Jeonghan reached over, wiping the tear he didn’t notice escaped from his eye.

And at that moment, he knows what he’s going to say.

“I know I’m in love with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for the kind comments!
> 
> I've been reading all of them so I'm sorry if I still don't have the time to reply. I will absolutely find time to do that, though!
> 
> Mental-Llamaxx suggested for me to insert Seungcheol's POV so here it is!
> 
> Please do tell me what you think, I'm kind of cheesy so I'm sorry if all this kinds of sounds weird hahaha!
> 
> I read all the comments, and I accept all suggestions as long as it's within my capabilities and it won't disrupt the storyline, I'm all for it!
> 
> I know this story kind of sucks, please bear with me. I am a dawn writer and most of my ideas are kind of shit haha! 
> 
> One if these days, though, work will tie me down, but I will try my best to update as frequently as I could. Thank you very much for your patience! ❤❤
> 
> Thank you!


	9. Chapter 9

If there was anything else Jeonghan can describe things, it was ‘great’. If he does think about it, people usually get to know each other, fall in love, and then live together. But in their circumstance, they lived together, got to know each other, then fell in love. In a way they’ve got it all in scrambles but they made it work anyway.

What escaped Jeonghan was the fact that despite being extremely supportive parents, his parents would most probably make him change rooms as soon as they confirm their relationship. Not that there is any ‘relationship’ to talk about anyway. Yes, they did kiss, but Jeonghan was conservative. He may allow boys to kiss him but he never does consider someone a boyfriend without formality. So what is he, exactly?

The other hasn’t made any indication that he wanted the ‘do’ so he’s pretty sure Seungcheol’s not really looking for anything more than just kissing if you know what that means, so he’s pretty sure he’s not just a fuck buddy either.

So what is he?

Why is he asking?

Choi Seungcheol told him he loves him. He stared as the other walked around their room, half naked and sporting a thin towel around his waist, looking for his smaller, hair towel.

But labels, Jeonghan, labels.

“You’re my boyfriend, of course.” Jeonghan almost jumped in his seat with the other suddenly turned to face him.

“What?”

“The talking out loud thing.” The other smiled at him. “Well, I wouldn’t have kissed you if I didn’t want you to be.” He said, and then he suddenly got a panicked look in his face. “Oh my, but if you don’t want to then that is not going to be a problem at all.” He waved his arms in random directions, weird, and super dangerous considering the fact that the towel around his waist has already been dangerously hanging low.

Jeonghan had to smile, realizing his worries worried the other, too. “Of course I want to.” He replied bravely, trying to suppress his smile.

 

They were all sitting around their usual cafeteria, including Cheol, and everyone’s eyes are on them. Well, especially Jisoo, who’s been staring at him like he’d killed his dog somewhere. He knows he hates this, if there is something he’s certain about Jisoo, it’s that he absolutely, downright, hates this. The assholes even invited Seungkwan, the poor Freshman Seokmin and Mingyu forcibly drags along to everything.

“You stole the love of my life.” Soonyoung bit, overly-dramatic as usual. Seungcheol chortled and was stopped by serious, glaring eyes.

“You hid this from us.” Mingyu whispered. Why are his friends always so overly dramatic? Well, he has reminded himself time and again, he does need better friends.

“You snake.” Seokmin followed.

“Why am I here?” Seungkwan looked around, confused. “Should I say something like I’m angry, too?” he leans into Mingyu and the other slowly nods. “Your feet stink.” Seungkwan added, with no venom at all.

“Perfect.” Mingyu mumbled under his breath.

What Jeonghan was terrified of was Jisoo is still quiet despite all this. He keeps glancing at Seungcheol beside him and he thinks he knows what the problem here, is.

“You jerk.” Jisoo finally said. Mingyu leans into him and whispers, “This is a pressing issue, can’t you manage a better word?”

“I am a child of the Lord, I shall not curse.” Despite Jeonghan being scared for Jisoo’s reaction, he’s still comforted by the fact that they’re still joking around. Well, that’s maybe why he doesn’t want to find other friends, because they can’t be angry. Not at all. He has the calmest people in the entire world as his gang.

“Permission to curse for you?” Soonyoung raised his hand like he was in class. Joshua nodded and Soonyoung decided to face him. “You son of a bitch.”

Jeonghan bit out laughter, he turned to his best friend and made the most pathetic face he could manage. “Jisoo ya.”

“Don’t ‘Jisoo ya’ me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yoon Jeonghan I’ve told you multiple times, never tell me secrets like these! You know I can’t ever keep a secret from your parents! What if they ask me?” if there was one thing he knows about Hong Jisoo, it was that he was a bigger ass-kisser than Jeonghan. “And you added, ‘Don’t tell my parents’ that is just a disaster waiting to happen!”

“But I can’t keep this from you while we all hang out!”

“I don’t mind you being in a relationship, you know that! Your parents are supportive, just tell them, don’t put the burden of keeping this from them on me.” If there was another thing he knew about Hong Jisoo, was that he has weekly phone conversations with Jeonghan’s parents where he tells them every update he knows about Jeonghan.

And now Jeonghan knows why he’s parents thought Seungcheol was his boyfriend.

“You’re tying me to a responsibility I possibly can’t fulfill.” If the drama department was looking for their captain, Jeonghan thinks he’s sitting right across him.

“I can’t tell them right now, Jisoo.”

“Fine.” He grumbled.

 

Jeonghan was still struggling with his backpack, walking clumsily while following his boyfriend; wait the term still made him giggle, while the said boyfriend walked first, kicking stones and following them. “So,” the other began as soon as he caught up. “I’m not very good with dates, but, would you like to have coffee tomorrow? I know we both have 3pm to 5:30 vacant for tomorrow.” He hid his face under his hood, reaching for Jeonghan’s hand.

Jeonghan clasped his around the others’, not just for effect but also to minimize the freezing. Neither of them anticipated the air to get this cold despite the fact that it’s almost 10pm on a December. That didn’t help much, though, the others’ hand was colder than everything around them. He reached for Seungcheol’s other hand and clutched it with his much warmer hands.

“I’d love to, but I have my last midterm on my 6:00 class.” He shivered. He really had this thing, where his hands are always warm even though it’s warm, and his nose is ALWAYS cold no matter the weather, it’s weird, but in times like these, his warm hands are actually very useful.

“Or I can bring you coffee and we can study in the tables near the quad and we can study together?” Jeonghan looked at him, he’s always looked at him from a seat, or from the floor he didn’t realize how similar their heights actually are.

“Choi Seungcheol,” he muttered, impressed. “My, my, you are attentive.”

The other hid his head again, mostly because he was blushing, Jeonghan can see despite the darkness of the alley. “You’re look a lot like a manly man, but I think I’m actually manlier than you are.” He observed. Seungcheol had the damn triceps, the damn abs, the runner’s calves, but he’s the one who’s actually easily surprised and the one who’s scared of lizards.

Goddamn, lizards, they’re tiny.

“They look like baby alligators to me.” He defended when Jeonghan took note of it.

“That’s our little secret.” He giggled.

As soon as they turned to the street of the pharmacy, though, the let go of each other, so as to make sure nobody sees them.

When went into the pharmacy, someone was with Hangyeol, sitting in Jeonghan’s usual study spot.

“Hi, Jeonghan hyung.” Hansol, Hangyeol’s older brother, immediately stood and bowed. “Hi, Jeonghan hyung’s companion.” He added awkwardly.

“Hansol, he’s Seungcheol.” Hangyeol bit out  before shrugging in Jeonghan’s direction.

“Oh I’m sorry.” He apologized again. “I’m just here to take Hangyeol home.”

“That’s alright; we’re just going to eat a popsicle outside while we wait for you to finish preparing.” Right before he can turn around and leave, a familiar voice came behind him.

“Jeonghan, Seungcheol hyung?” he turned and he discovered Seungkwan, standing by the door with a dumb face. “I knew it was you!” he stepped into the pharmacy, eyes wandering to the space behind the two of them, which Jeonghan figures was where the siblings were standing.

“Oh! I’m sorry.” He turned to point at them. “This is Hangyeol, she works here.” Hangyeol bowed politely. “And this is her brother Hansol who comes to pick her up.” Hansol waved, smiling, eyes quite glazed with Jeonghan has no idea what.

Seungkwan looked like he wanted Jeonghan to supply more but he didn’t know what to say. “….everyday?” Seungkwan asked, still not obvious to the oblivious Jeonghan.

“I think so, yeah.” He nodded. Another figure was walking towards the pharmacy door and opened it, which in Jeonghan’s deductions, is with Seungkwan. Seungcheol froze beside him, either from the cold because the door was open, or because of another reason.

“Seungkwan,” the small but stern looking…man (?) peeked in. “Hurry up and buy the throat candies, I’m freezing out there.” Seungkwan seemed to snap out from his trance and went to the counter right away. The smaller man looked in their direction and froze himself. If he looked stern, now he just looked downright scary.

“Jihoon ah.” Seungcheol mumbled, still stiff beside Jeonghan.

“Cheol ah.” He didn’t know if it was the informality of the speech or the air around them right now, but Jeonghan is feeling instantly jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DIDN'T UPDATE YESTERDAY HAHAHAHAHA okay so my boyfriends' in town and my brain was kind of throbbing so we just stayed indoors and watched all the Hunger Games movies yesterday (much to his disappointment) because when I'm sick I need me some Peeta Mellark and DON'T TELL ME YOU PREFER GALE OVER PEETA BC I WILL DEFINITELY FITE YOU
> 
> okay hahaha so as I've told aiavena, a lot of the fluffy things in here are actual events that happened to me because of my dumb boyfriend so... sorry if they suck, I don't have other sources of actual feelings of fluff forgive my soul. the cold nose thing is actually one of the first things we've talked about, i accidebtally grazed his nose and IT WAS FREAKING COLD what's up with that
> 
> another thing, i actually HAD written about 600 words last night but i felt like shit so i decided to read it again and it turns out IT SUCKS so decided to scrap the whole thing
> 
> So harem1004 asked me if Jisoo was going to interrupt this love story, and this chapter answers it: NO he's just worried about his kiss-ass points and nothing more... JIHOON IS ANOTHER STORY, THOUGH
> 
> Since I didn't update yesterday, I will try my best to update again today!  
> Thank you very much for keeping up with my crap!
> 
> oh okay and last thing i would like to inform you that my main svt ships are jeongcheol, soonseok, verkwan, and junhoon (if you've read my first fic you'd notice) so don't be surprised if i play with all those characters in my stories so okay bye thanks


	10. Chapter 10

They were both getting ready for bed when Jeonghan finally decided to just ask and put his mind at ease. “Seungcheol?”

The other was crouching on the floor while Jeonghan sat on his own bed, looking for his slipper. “Hmm?”

“Who was that?” he sat properly, preparing for the answer. Even if the other was crouching on the floor, he felt him stiffen again. Why is he doing that a lot? Is there anything about the other guy he didn’t want Jeonghan to know? They’ve been in this relationship for like, two days, and it may sound like he’s controlling, but he actually is not, and now he realized he didn’t sound as laidback as he’d like to be. “A high school friend?” Saved it.

“Uhh, yeah, he’s a high school friend.” But if he’s really a high school friend, why did they seem so awkward?

“Didn’t end in good terms?”

“I’m not sure, I’d say no. But… we did drift apart.”

“Were you close?”

“Uh, yeah, pretty close.” He avoided looking at Jeonghan, he did notice but he decided not to push it further. They’ve been together for an extremely short time and he doesn’t want to burst this little honeymoon phase bubble they’re in.

“I’m going to go to sleep.” He said quietly, reaching out to Cheol. “Good night.” He pouted at him, before the other leaned in for a swift kiss.

“Good night.”

 

 

Jeonghan totally forgot about their supposed little date until his boyfriend sat in front of him handing him coffee. “I’ve been looking for you.” Instead of meeting him on the tables by the quad, he’s currently in the dorm study area, last minute scanning for his last midterm in a few hours.

“I’m so sorry, baby, I totally forgot. I didn’t realize there was one chapter I skipped I panicked.” He reached over for his hand, and for some unknown reason, he was looking at him strangely.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he smiled mischievously, and Jeonghan is sure it’s not ‘nothing’. “I don’t want to disturb you, go back to your books!” he chastised, taking out a few books himself, despite the fact that Jeonghan knows his last midterm ended this noon.

He was deep in his review of the all the different species they’ve discussed and is describing their characteristics by memory when he was reminded of something.

“It’s Christmas break.”

The other looked up from his book, totally glazing over the words, with a question mark obviously written all over his face. “Yeah, why?”

“Where do you usually go?”

“Nowhere.” He knows Seungcheol hates it when he treats him like a wounded child, but, not going anywhere on Christmas? He should give this to Jeonghan. He wanted to offer him to go with their family, but he realized that their tickets for Akita have been booked months ago and their flight is on a few days, a last minute ticket for the holidays will be almost impossible—and extremely expensive. “Don’t worry, I’m used to it.” He squeezed Jeonghan’s hand but his statement had a different effect on Jeonghan’s emotions.

“Noooo,” he groaned. “Don’t say things like that. It makes me want to break into my savings and buying you a last minute ticket so you can come with us.”

“Don’t do that.” Seungcheol’s expression turned serious. “I’ve been spending Christmas alone for years now, it’s not a big deal.”

“Do you stay at the dorms?” say no, say no, say no.

“Yeah.” Jeonghan’s heart sunk. Other breaks are forgivable, but… Christmas?

“How about New Year?

“Still here.” Jeonghan thanks all the gods in existence that their returning flight to Seoul is in the 29th.

“Spend it with us.” He immediately offered.

“Why?”

“My parents love you, my sister loves you, even more than she loves me, that’s not going to be a problem. Mom knows your predicament, too, she’s going to be on board.”

“Are you sure, these are family gatherings, I shouldn’t be intruding.” Jeonghan looks at his worried face, trying to decide if the thing he’s about to say is one step too forward.

“But you’re family.” Seungcheol looks up, gratitude obvious in his eyes.

“Still,” he shakes his head. “This is too intimate; I don’t want your parents to be awkward with me there.”

“Okay, let’s strike a deal.” He let go of the others’ hand, reaching inside his bag for his phone. “I’m going to call my mom and ask her about it, if she hesitates for a second, it’s off, okay?”

He paused for a while, thinking about it. “Fine.”

He dialed his mothers’ number, and figuring she’s in the pharmacy, she would be able to answer he phone right away.

“Jeonghan?”

“Mom, I have a question.”

“Sure, what is it?” she puts her on loudspeaker for Cheol to hear.

“Were going to Akita for Christmas and coming back here on the 29th, right?”

“Yup.”

“Cheol actually spends Christmas and New Year’s day alone,” she didn’t even get to finish when she exclaimed, “Oh, poor baby! But baby, the tickets for Akita have already been sold out a long time ago, I would know, I tried to bring your auntie with me.”

“Yes, mom, I do know that. But, can he spend New Year with us?”

“Let me guess,” Cheol raised his eyebrows like it’s a sign of hesitation, but Jeonghan stops him, hearing her out. “He doesn’t want to interrupt us and your convincing him it’s alright.”

It was Jeonghan’s turn to raise his eyebrows, tides shifting to his side. “Yeah, mom, that’s it.”

“Of course, it’s okay! I actually think your dad and sister would love that.”

After he put down his phone, he just looked at Cheol smugly, like he’s won a humongous bet or something.

 

Two days after that, Jeonghan stood by the door, with his backpack full with his things, and things he would need for Akita, needing to go home to prepare for their trip to Akita the next day. Seungcheol was sitting on his study table, swinging his longs legs back and forth. Jeonghan’s been looking around, carrying his bag.

“Can you put your bag down while you look for it? I feel tired just watching you.” He complained for the fifth time, but Jeonghan just won’t do it, and won’t even help him look for it. “Ah ha!” whatever he’s looking for, he turned around so Cheol won’t see it, and shoved it haphazardly on his bag.

“I should go.” He complained.

“Okay.” Seungcheol didn’t notice one bit but he’s pouting. He motions for him to come near, and Jeonghan stood between his legs. “Bye.” Cheol whispered, hugging him close, resting his face on the others’ shoulder.

“What is this?” Jeonghan asks in a teasing voice, “Are you going to miss me?”

The other let go immediately. “As if.” he scoffed and rolled his eyes, still pouting a little.

“Aw, really?” Jeonghan fake pouted, wrapping his arms around his waist. “Because I’m going to miss you.” He hid his face in the others’ neck, shy.

“Okay, fine. I’ll miss you.” Jeonghan giggled against his neck, which made him add, “Just a tiny bit.”

“I’ll take that.” He feels Jeonghan smile against his neck, and to his surprise, kiss it.

“Okay, fine. A lot.” He gives up, turning his head to kiss Jeonghan on the temple. “Enjoy your break, okay?”

“I won’t. I’ll miss you the entire time.” He faces the other, trying to scrape all the available opportunities for him to be clingy since he’d have to have enough giggle material for the next week.

“Now that’s just a lie. It’s Akita in winter, I’m sure it’ll be beautiful.”

“I hope so.” He leans in to give him a small kiss on the corner of his lips, slowly smiling and easing into a more comfortable kiss. He’s been sort of neglecting him for studies in the past few days but he appreciates the fact that Seungcheol catches up by being the clingier one the entire time.

Jeonghan is actually quite clingy, behind the scenes, but to meet their weekly clingy requirement, Seungcheol meets it for him instead. He didn’t even notice it the entire time, but even before they were together, they both find a way to be clingy with each other.

Small pats, arm clinging, chin and head scratching, face patting, leg hugging, and on that one instance—even nape kissing.

He finally realized that Jisoo and their parents actually had a reason for thinking they were together even when they weren’t. They were attached by the hip, without noticing it. Finding random ways to initiate skinship, smiling too widely at each other, now he realizes, he might have been stuck on the other for a long time now. He’s just passed it as a simple crush, lack of sleep, the entire time.

And now that they’re actually together, despite the fact that they’re still both trying to ease into the relationship thing, he’s wondering how he’s held all this in for so long.

Seungcheol pulls back, “Your mom is going to kill you.” He holds his watch in front on his eyes, and realizes she’s expecting him to arrive anytime soon. She’s going to murder him.

“Fuck!” he moves away.

But his extremely clingy today boyfriend pulled him back in. “Okay, one last one for the road.” He pressed his lips to others’, hard, and finally let him go.

“I’ll miss you.”

“I thought you won’t?”

“I already said I would!” he laughed, with gums. Oh he’ll miss this so much.

“I’ll miss you, too.” He rests his cheek against his. He knows they’re both being too sappy but who cares? He’s going to do what he wants to do. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Jeonghan pulls away, gives him one smile, and leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a holiday here in our country, I don't have work so I got to write another chapter, it's also exam week and I've made all my exams all I gotta do is wait for these dumbass kids to fail
> 
> i'm just kidding i love them i hope they pass
> 
> so apparently i'm gonna post again tonight
> 
> i hope
> 
> thank you very much for the comments and for reading,  
> this will pick up in pace eventually i promise you
> 
> thank you and happy reading!


	11. Chapter 11

He’s been practicing alone all day and he’s itching to see Jeonghan. But how is he supposed to see someone in another country. Sure, their return flight is for today but he hasn’t seen him in A WEEK. He’s been training and running like crazy just to make sure he doesn’t slowly transition into death inside their room.

There’s one problem, however. It’s the fact that he’s running around, in his coat, in the middle of Christmas winter.

“Choi Seungcheol!” he stopped running, turning around to see Jihoon, running after him. He had no idea why he was here. Ever since they’ve agreed that their former agreement was stupid, Jihoon hasn’t made an attempt to contact him again.

“Hey.” He panted, still kind of awkward.

“I just decided to visit you since I know you spend these holidays alone.” He shivered, moving to sit on the ground. “Go on, run, I’m just going to stay here.” He decided not to fuss nor argue, and went back to running his laps.

He feels awkward, and more than that, guilty. He doesn’t know exactly why, but when Jeonghan asked, he felt compelled to lie, to say that Jihoon was just a friend; that he’s just a high school buddy he drifted away from when it’s not really the truth. He panicked, not given the chance to think of the appropriate answer, and just said ‘friend’.

Jihoon was more than just a friend, he was his closest friend, his 'ex-boyfriend', and the one he’d drunkenly promised to marry someday.

Well, that’s not just something he can tell Jeonghan right away.

They are still freshly into the relationship, he wanted to stay in the honeymoon period, he didn’t want to deal with these right now—especially ex talks, it’s too much for a two-week relationship.

He was ending his last lap when he spotted a figure, hunched and shivering, walking towards the quad.

“Cheol ah!” Jeonghan waved, running that tiny penguin run that he does when he’s really cold.

Despite the weather, his heart warmed from the sight of him, making his run to his direction. He stopped right in front of him, hesitated about giving him a hug because he was sweaty. “You’re here early.”

“I came here as soon as we landed.”

“You could’ve just visited home first.” He clung onto Jeonghan’s arm, walking back to the track. “Let me just finish my lap and then we can go back to our room, okay?” Jeonghan’s eyes were already elsewhere when he remembered Jihoon is actually there.

“Your friend’s here.” He commented. “Aren’t you going to introduce us? You didn’t last time.”

He nodded, albeit quite uncomfortable. “Sure.” They walked towards where Jihoon was sitting, he was looking at them, mostly at Jeonghan, and stood when they came near.

“Uhh, Jeonghan this is Jihoon, my friend, and Jihoon, this is Jeonghan, my boyfriend.” Both of Jihoon’s eyebrows were raised, before he smiled at Jeonghan, taking the hand the other had already offered. “Nice to meet you Jihoon.”

“Yeah, me too.” He didn’t know if it was just his ears, he didn’t want to seem like he’s full of himself but Jihoon did not sound like it’s really nice to meet Jeonghan.

“I can just wait with Jihoon here while you finish your lap.” He pushed, although Cheol was already quite hesitant to leave him with the other.

 

Jeonghan smiled at Jihoon as he sat, trying to be friendly. He has a feeling the other didn’t like him that much, but that’s normal. He was a high school friend while Jeonghan is a college one; not to mention the friend vs boyfriend usual rivalries, but he did try.

“Boyfriend, huh?” the other asked. Jeonghan nodded, and at the last minute, he added, “Is that very surprising?” he added a small chuckle, to maintain the light-hearted manner of the conversation, at least on his side.

“Yes.” The other answered right away, without the mirth, even. “He promised me he wouldn’t go into a relationship until he hasn’t finished college.”

“Oh.” He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t know about this promise, if this was true, and if he did, he still would wonder why the other would seem so unhappy about it.

“I promised him, too.” He looked at Jeonghan with a slight smirk in his face. “Before I went to study abroad we both did, to each other. And I kept my promise. You’re the evidence he didn’t keep his.” He shrugged, and Jeonghan felt infinitely more awkward; and exceptionally annoyed. What kind of promise is this? Is this a type of promise friends make?

“Oh.” There was no other response in Jeonghan’s mind. “So you live abroad now?” Finally, a proper question. Congratulations, Yoon Jeonghan, you used your brain.

“Yeah. I teach music in Boston.” Jihoon looked at him again. “I’m Cheol’s friend, so I’m your friend now, too, right?”

Maybe if you treated me normally. “Sure.”

“Okay, so I can tell you this.” He sits up straight. “The school I’m teaching in right now needs a PE teacher and a track coach, I’m thinking about bringing him to Boston with me.” Jeonghan was quite sure his expression stiffened, basing on the smug look Jihoon has on his face right now. “I’m sorry, I know you’re a new couple, but I know Cheol. He needs this. And he would most probably choose this.” He knows he’s the boyfriend, but he has no idea which option he would choose. That’s the thing, he doesn’t know him enough. “I’m really sorry.” He didn’t sound apologetic at all.

Jeonghan’s heart sunk, not just by the idea that Seungcheol really does need this than a boyfriend, but the fact that right now, he had no idea what type of person Seungcheol is enough to know what he would choose if he really was offered the chance.

“Don’t tell him, yet, okay?” Jihoon offered his pinky, in a form of silence oath. Jeonghan locked his pinky muttering a small, ‘promise’.

Seungcheol was finishing his last lap, nearing them. “I’ll be here for a few months, I’m on leave.” He smiled smugly while standing up. And when Cheol was within earshot, he added, “I’ll see you both often, okay?” he slapped Cheol’s arm before walking away.

 

“Are you okay?” they were both having microwaved lasagna for dinner on the floor, as usual, when Cheol asked.

“Yeah, I’m okay, just pretty tired.”

“I told you, you should’ve gone home first.” He reached over to feel Jeonghan’s forehead. “You could’ve gotten sleep first.”

“No, it’s okay, I wanted to see you.” It was true, but he was really fine before that conversation with Jihoon. But he does know he wants to switch his attitude up, if he wanted to spend time with him. “We can go home on the 31st, you can spend the night there, we have an extra room.”

“Are—”

“Mom’s suggestion; so yeah, I’m sure.” Seungcheol smiled widely, throwing his finished box of lasagna to the trash can. He scoots over nearer to Jeonghan, who was still playing with his food, not even finishing half of it.

“I missed you.” He mumbled, playing with his phone. Jeonghan looks over at him, flushing from his forehead down to his neck, courage for being a cheeseball died after he left for Japan, and now being a shy cat for confessing again.

“I missed you, too.” He whispered. “But you were right.” Cheol looked up right away.

“About what?”

“Akita was beautiful even without you.” He chuckled, he did feel bad for leaving him alone but no worries there, and Akita itself was enough to distract him.

 

Jeonghan suggests they watch a movie together, and as an excuse to initiate more contact, Cheol agreed. Jeonghan chose a slight chick flick entitled The Other Woman. Seungcheol judged him for his choice, but agreed to it anyway.

“Seungkwan suggested this to me.” he defended, feeling a whole lot better that earlier. He decided to just ignore that little conversation he had with Jihoon and he instantly felt so much better. “He said it highlights ‘the beauty of friendship’.”

“How?” he points to the screen, realizing that the guy who plays Jaime Lannister was cheating on his wife with Charlie’s Angels girl.

“Exactly why I’m curious!” he slaps his lightly and playfully. “And that’s all you know her from? She has so many movies, all you remember is Charlie’s Angels?”

“Salt?”

“That’s Angelina Jolie, dumbass. This is Cameron Diaz.” Seungcheol rolled his eyes, focusing back to the screen in front of them.

A few minutes into the movie, Jeonghan decides to ask. “You won’t do that, right? Have multiple men at the same time?” his boyfriend turns to him. Jeonghan realizes it’s kind of a deep question, but he’s bothered, feeling like he and Jihoon had something. Or worse, has something.

“No.” he answered firmly, leaning into Jeonghan and kissing him.

The quiet kiss became torrid in a few moments, Jeonghan caught in his small jealousy party, and Cheol just downright missing him. Seungcheol pushes him backward onto the floor and traps Jeonghan underneath him, still focused on each other. So focused they didn’t notice the door opening and when voices started making noise, they instantly pulled away from each other.

“Holy shit!” (Soonyoung)

“BACK OFF, CHILDREN, BACK OFF.” (Jisoo, obviously)

“SEUNGKWAN CLOSE YOUR EYES!” (Seokmin)

“HANSOL, YOU TOO!” (Seungkwan)

“Sorry to disturb YOU!” (Mingyu in his puberty voice)

“We’ll wait outside, finish up finish up.” (Wonwoo in his motorcycle gang member voice)

The door closed and they looked at each other, laughing. “You need better friends.” Seungcheol commented.

“They’re your friends now, too!”

Seungcheol chuckled one last time before filling. “We’re all going to dinner.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAHOO It's my birthday  
> And while everyone's outside buying me things, I decided to finish this chapter
> 
> Tell me what you think!  
> What do you think about Jihoon?  
> What does he want?
> 
> Comments and suggestions, down below, or @twt!  
> Thank you very much for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

After a very confusing dinner with his friends, including Wonwoo, Seungkwan and Hansol; as to how that happened, he has no idea, they all decided to walk home. He’s been walking side by side with Jisoo, the only one who isn’t paired in their group.

“Why are you walking with me?”

“What do you mean?” he tucked his hands inside his jacket, shivering in the December cold.

“Your boyfriend is right there.” He motions his head to Cheol’s direction, currently third-wheeling beside Wonwoo and Mingyu.

“Well, it’s not like I can’t hang around you anymore, we’re still friends.” He sounded defensive, he knew, but he doesn’t really want to assess his moodiness right now.

“That’s not what I meant, dumbass.” He hit him. It hurt, but he knows that, Jisoo can be a boxer if he tried hard enough.  “You’re acting weird, you were just making out a while ago.”

Jeonghan considered, why was he is a bad mood again? OH MAYBE BECAUSE THEY SAW JIHOON ON THE WAY TO THE BARBEQUE PLACE AND HE STOOD TOO CLOSE TO CHEOL AGAIN.

“Was it because of Sungcheol’s friend? What’s his name?” Can you read my mind? He looked into Jisoo’s eyes, summoning that ability best friends have where they can have whole conversations in their brain. “I told you, I can’t read your mind.” Jisoo huffed, annoyed.

“You suck.” Jeonghan grumbled, if they have that ability, that means they can talk about other people if they want, bummer that Jisoo isn’t talented at this.

“So? Was it that guy? I’m your friend and I didn’t like how he was looking at him.”

“Right? Right? I thought I was going crazy.” It was a short conversation, but it included them slightly reminiscing about the past, and him inviting his boyfriend for dinner, in front of him, what’s up with that.

“I can take him down.” His best friend offered.

“Josh, you’re my best friend, and that’s a wonderful offer, but I love you and you can’t be a murderer just because of my shallow love life concerns.”

“It’s not that, it’s never that!” he used one of their groups phrases to answer Jeonghan, but he thinks Jisoo doesn’t really know what it means.

“Josh, ‘that’ means sex, not murder.” It was as if a small lightbulb lit up over his head as he released a long ‘aaaaahhh’. “That explains a lot of confusing conversations between me and the others.”

“What?” by this time, he was already laughing. The others joined their conversation, curious as to what made him laugh so hard. “He thinks ‘that’ means murder.” He heaved, explaining to a confused Cheol.

“What’s ‘that’?” the others have been teasing Jisoo and laughing at this point.

“You notice when we say, ‘It’s not that, It’s never that.’?”

“Yeah. ‘That’ means sex, right?”

“He thinks it’s murder.” He continued on laughing, not really knowing what’s so funny. But if you were in their group of friends, and you finally remember the types of conversations they’ve had where they used the phrase, it was sure to crack you up to think that all this time, he’s been thinking it means murder.

“So when I suggested Jeonghan blow Cheol, Josh thought I wanted him to murder him?” Soonyoung asked, still heaving. Jeonghan however, has frozen, along with the guy beside him. Soonyoung noticed and immediately stopped laughing. “That’s not what he meant apparently.”

Silence.

“Because it’s not that; it’s never that.” Wonwoo added quietly, making everybody laugh again.

 

They have gone quiet and went back to their islands when Jisoo decided to resume their topic. “What I meant was I can actually get one of my friends to distract him for you. I have a really flirty one.”

“Is ‘friend’ another code? Are you just saying you’re going to get a friend to distract him when it’s going to be you?” Jeonghan teased.

“Shut up.” He grumbled. “I’m never using those codes again.”

 

The next night, Jeonghan sat on his chair anxiously. Seungcheol was out for dinner with Jihoon. Cheol did invite him to come with them but he declined; the other will just surely look at it as a chance to shove in his face that he can offer something Jeonghan never can.

Well, yeah, he was able to offer Cheol a job but it’s just a part-time gig he can do while he’s at school. An actual full-time job and eventual career? Well, Jeonghan falls short there.

He sighs, and realizes that he can’t make this whole relationship distract him from his entire goal. At the beginning of this year, he promised himself he would only be focusing on being Summa Cum Laude and will never let get distractions get in the way. But look at where he is now, a few months from class, and a taken man.

A few minutes into his studying, he heard the front door open (a unique circumstance) showing a snowed up Seungcheol.

“Hi. You studying?” he asked as he shook off the snowflakes stuck on his coat.

“No, I’m actually trying to figure out if I wanted to burn all my books and just fuck it.” He answered sarcastically.

Seungcheol faced him with a straight, serious face. “I love sarcasm.”

Jeonghan turned his expression into a happy one and answered, “I don’t! I hate sarcasm; I don’t do it every day.” Cheol laughed, letting go of his act.

“Seriously, it’s Christmas break, why are you studying?”

“I was bored.” He shrugged.

“How was dinner with the others?”

“Fun.” He smiled. He considered asking him about Jihoon’s supposed offer, but despite the fact that he didn’t like the guy that much, he did promise he wouldn’t tell Cheol about until he hasn’t broken the news yet. Instead, he decided to beat around the bush.

“Uhh, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.” Cheol pulled his seat nearer to Jeonghan and pulled his feet up. “What is it?”

“We’re graduating in a few months… what’s your plan?”

“Hmm..” he scratched his chin, just like he always does when he’s thinking. “Just the same things I’ve told your parents, still teaching and coaching maybe. You?”

Jeonghan was too focused on his line of question that he was caught off guard when he was thrown the question back. “Uhh… to be honest, I’ve been planning to go to med school. I’m double majoring because I can’t choose between Oncology and Psychiatry. So while I haven’t chosen, I decided to get the two pre-requisite courses.”

Seungcheol smiled widely, for some weird reason Jeonghan can’t fathom. He leans into him and kisses him lightly. “What was that for?” Jeonghan whispered, still close to Seungcheol’s face.

“Nothing, you’re just so smart, it’s really attractive.” He cupped Jeonghan’s face still smiling. He lets him go and relaxes back to his seat. “To be honest I actually got a job offer, but I’m still not sure about it.” Jeonghan stiffened, would he say it? That he’s just got a job which requires him to move away? That he prefers it than staying here? He looks at Cheol, the bags in under his eyes, the exhaustion in them; and he thinks, if he does think this is better for him, if he thinks he will develop more as a human being if he went with Jihoon and teach there, it’s his decision, and Jeonghan should be supportive.

Jihoon has been right all along, Seungcheol might appreciate this more. Maybe what ticked him off was the fact that Jihoon seemed eager to get Cheol off his clutches.

“I have another question." Jeonghan hasn’t really thought to ask until now, he’s noticed it; he’s been interrupted by it multiple times, and he realizes now, if he can’t ask him this, who can? And can he? “I know it’s kind of private but I’ve just noticed…”

“The nightmares?” Cheol asked in his quiet voice.

“Yes.” Jeonghan nodded, peeking over his hair to look at the other.  Jeonghan is a deep sleeper, it was extremely hard to wake him if it’s not within his body clock; but Seungcheol, time and again, would wake him, moaning, groaning, and panting. It would wake Jeonghan, it would worry him, but it never does wake Seungcheol up, and eventually, the nightmares subside, and Cheol quiets down.

“I don’t know, I really don’t know why they come. Maybe because I’m fond of horrors and my brain just loves stocking grimy and mentally disturbing images in my brain.”

“Didn’t you experience any cases of sleep paralysis?” he didn’t notice it but Jeonghan turned professional in his tone, sitting up straight in his seat.

Cheol smiled. “Are you going all Psychologist on me?”

Jeonghan relaxed, smiling back at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I do that.”

“It’s okay.”

They quieted down but then Jeonghan noticed a shift in his expression and his mannerism, he stiffened, which Jeonghan now attributes to him being nervous.

“What is it?” he decided to inquire.

“It’s creepy when you go all psychologist, all the time.” He chuckled, and then stopped, deciding to get to the point. “Jihoon, actually…” Oh is he going to tell Jeonghan about the job offer now? He should act surprised, he should practice a few expressions he can produce as soon as he says it.

He may be thinking of various ways to show Cheol he doesn’t know, but Jeonghan doesn’t admit to himself that he’s just worried he’s going to tell him that he’d accepted, that he’d be leaving as soon as they graduate—that he would be leaving him.

“I promised him I’d marry him.”

Well, at least he’s sure the shock registering in his face is genuine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a question, has everybody here read my 2nd fic Forever Young?  
> Because I'm planning something related to it (it may be this fic it may be a new fic i'm planning, it's a secret) so I wanted to see if how many people would get the correlation  
> You can comment down below to tell me if you have or haven't thanks
> 
> I skipped another day of updating but that's just because I got too busy collecting pictures and gifs for my junhoon thread on twitter hahahahaha  
> RESPONSIBILITIES AND PRIORITIES LOL But kidding aside, yeah, I got stuck in the junhoon tag and never got out until it was time to go to school  
> My class is waiting and I can't just tell them STUDY FOR QUIZ TOMORROW PROF NEEDS TO SLEEP I DOWNLOADED TOO MUCH GAY SHIP PICTURES PLS FORGIVE ME  
> So I have updated, and please do tell me, too, where do you expect this story to go?  
> Continue on fluff, proceed to light angst, or sudden death?  
> LOL I might die, might as well some of you can plan this with me so someone can continue  
> OKAY DONE JOKING HAHAHAHA I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I will try my best to get back to my usual update schedule  
> THANK YOU!


	13. Chapter 13

“Well, that explains a lot.” Was the only thing Jeonghan managed to say when he realized they were both quiet for too long.

“It was stupid, we were in high school, I liked him, he liked me, I was hesitant because one of our friends, Jun, you’re familiar with him, right? Well he really liked him, so I decided, we can make it official after high school so we wouldn’t have to shove it in Jun’s face, I really, really, liked him then. He jokingly said he’d like to marry me someday, so I told him, I would, too. He made me promise… and…” Jeonghan would have been angry if he wasn’t looking at Cheol; he wants to get angry, but for what? What does he have with Cheol’s past? He can put a gun to high school Seungcheol’s brain and threated him.

Yes, it makes him realize that there are so many things about this relationship that he cannot control. Cheol has his past, he has his issues, and right now, all he needs to remember who he fell in love with. He can’t just give things up just because of something that has happened when he hasn’t met him. He’s here now.

He wants to be angry, he did; but he just looked too funny. Enlarged eyes, panting from talking too fast; he’s even holding on to his chair. “I was distracted with my parents’ deaths, he got a scholarship in Boston, tt was stupid, I didn’t think he’d still be serious about it now.”

“He’s still serious about it?”

“He said he was. But I can’t really be sure with Jihoon, he’s very possessive, back in high school, we all weren’t allowed to have other friends. Maybe this is just him being possessive, so I told him it would have to be someone else,” everything suddenly fell into place, Jisoo’s suggestion, what Cheol is blubbering about right now… “He even refused to see our other friends just because they’re friends with other people now. He’s saying I’m just an exception because he likes me.

“We can do something about that.” he interrupted. “And Jihoon is weird.” He added.

Seungcheol nodded. “But he’s really nice underneath all that I promise you,” he began. “And what can we do about it?”

“Jisoo has a flirty friend he can send to distract Jihoon from you.” Jeonghan chuckled, only now realizing how stupid that plan sounds. Seungcheol chuckled, too, “How can he? Does he have powers?”

“We’ll have to talk to Jisoo about that.”

 

 

“Absolutely!” Jisoo nodded enthusiastically. “You wouldn’t believe this guy. He’s flirty, he’s extremely handsome, and no one has rejected him in his life.”

“That sounds like a friend of mine,” he chuckled. “But nah, he’s been rejected multiple times. So we can’t be talking about the same person.”

Jisoo nodded, trying to sell his boy like an enthusiastic pimp.  “This guy hasn’t been rejected… ever. He’s a dancer, cute and flirty at the same time, and he’s extremely sexy, too.”

"Is this Soonyoung?" Jeonghan asked.

"Can't tell. It's surprise!"

“Okay,” Cheol nodded. “Sold.”

Jeonghan looked his best friend in the eyes, nodding over dramatically. “Release the kraken.” The three of them shook hands, crossing their arms in front of them. They were all nodding simultaneously, and the only thing you can hear at that time was a crunching sound while Mingyu sat in one corner and ate chips.

“You guys are weird.” He mumbled. They were still all nodding.

 

It was the 31st and they were standing outside the house, trying to figure out to unlock the gate. “When did they decide to change this?” Jeonghan complained, trying to push and pull, like that would work.

“Seungcheoooool!” his mom ran to the gate, opening it for them.

“Glad to see you, too, mom.” Jeonghan muttered. They both smiled, walking to the house.

“I’ve seen you a few days ago, let me have favoritism.”

He’s been living in the college dorm for years, and he’s never gotten over how warm their house is. They’re always kind of noisy, he hated that, and everyone cares about rest, bonding, and adequate amounts of sleep; totally different from the dorm.

He sat down as his mom pulled him to the dinner table to offer him some wine. His sister sat beside him, changing the channel, sipping her own version of wine. “Was is that,” he leaned in to sniff her glass, “Apple juice.”

“Looks like piss.”

“You look like piss.”

She pushed him he pushed her, too, until the not-so-gentle pushing became a mini wrestling match.

“Jeonghan, stop harassing your sister.”

“Jeongah’s stronger.” Cheol muttered from the kitchen, enough to be audible.

“Jeongah, stop harassing your brother.” Despite being chastised, she seemed to be pretty smug about that.

“Dinner’s ready.” Cheol peeked in, making all the 3 Yoons in the living room to spring up from their seats and rush to the dining room.

As soon as they’ve all settled around the table, his mother smiled at Cheol. “I know this is not your usual Christimas dinner, but please feel comfortable darling, we’re happy you’re here.”

Cheol smiled at her as she pat his cheek.

 

After dinner, and after they’ve both assisted his mother with the dishes, they all gathered at the front yard, with Jeonghan running to get dibs on the metal swing chairs even without competition as the rest of his family gathering outside their home to prepare the sparklers and the mini fireworks.

Seungcheol sat beside him, sipping on his 5th glass of wine. “Ho, there, how many glasses have you had?”

“This is my… fifth, I think?”

“Fifth? That wine’s strong, you can’t have too much of that.”

“It’s okay, I have pretty good alcohol tolerance.”

Jeonghan hesitated, but in the few times that they’ve all gone drinking out, he did have a pretty high tolerance. “Okay, but don’t expect me to drag you in.”

Cheol smiled, looking around. “Just by the looks of your house, I’m already pretty sure you’ve had an awesome childhood.”

Jeonghan looked around, a tiny swing set, this swing chair he’d bump his head against time and again, the flowers his mother had spent years growing and adding until they have a bee infested front yard, the deflated balls gathered in one shed, and as to why, he doesn’t know.

He takes a look at his family, all playing with sparklers, laughing, chasing each other with it; yes, even his dad is playing along.

“Yeah. My parents made sure of that.”

“I know you’ve been putting off telling them about us because they might want you to move to another room, but don’t you think they’d want to know? After all, I know they are much more important that I am. Even individually.”

Jeonghan makes a face which made him add, “I know, I know I’m important, too.” He reaches for Jeonghan’s hand a peeks at his family to make sure they can’t see. “But your mom, dad, and Jeongah? Well, this is real family, and I don’t mind.”

Jeonghan nods. At that moment, he had a big urge to lean in and kiss him, but he doesn’t. If there was something else that made him fall further in love with the man looking at him right now, it was the fact that in a short span of time, he’s already read Jeonghan like a biology textbook, memorizing him from cover to cover; and he hasn’t even made that effort.

“Kids!” his mom calls them out, “Come here the fireworks is going to start.” she’s backed away from the road, standing by the gate with Jeongah.

 

After spending the entire night talking with Jeonghan’s family, they’ve decided to go to sleep. The pharmacy will be closed until the 2nd so there will still be time for him to rest before he goes back to his normal routine.

“This is Jeonghan’s room.” She opens the door to a huge room with two twin beds and a shitload of books. “Jeongah used to share this room with him until she was 10, and we got too lazy to remove her bed. “ she explains.

“Plus, you’re already roommates so you’re used to sharing the same room, it’s perfect.” His dad slurred, obviously drunk. “Sleep comfortably, boys.” He finally manages to pull his mom away, who seemed to be willing to smother them even more.

“Enjoy your sleep.” Jeongah passed by them, winking.

“What the fuck?” there are times when he thinks Jeongah is actually a 40 year-old fortune-teller who was sent undercover as his sister just to torment him.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell.” She winks again, running upstairs to her room.

“Your sister is weird.” Seungcheol comments as soon as Jeonghan closes the door behind them.

“Isn’t everybody I know?” he removes his shirt, getting ready for a bath. “I’m like a weird magnet.” I feel really hot so let me have a go at the bathroom first, okay?

 

When after both of them had showered, Jeonghan had already happily settled into his bed with one of his favorite books onto his lap. Seungcheol had his back on him, trying to dress while he seemed to be distracted; Jeonghan though, had been distracted by a completely different thing.

He’s never noticed Cheol’s back muscles before. Maybe because he’s on the floor 90% of the time the other dresses; and the front view is totally showing it.

The other discarded his towel, wearing only his boxers and decided to jump onto Jeongah’s still strong bed. Jeonghan was still staring, not realizing the other has already noticed him.

He decided to snap out of it and asks, “Is it hot? I can turn on the air-conditioner if you want.”

 “Well, you turn it on in the middle of the night anyway.” Seungcheol smiled at him, answering Jeonghan’s stare. “Of course, I know, I sleep by it, of course, I notice.”

Jeonghan chuckled, he does prefer a colder atmosphere so when they sleep with it turned-off, he turns it back on in the middle of the night, and it becomes a remote ownership battle. He stands in front of his filled (and haphazardly arranged shelf) and returns his book and decided to re-flip another one.

He didn’t notice the other was already creeping towards him. “I thought the books in the dorm was it.”

“That was a fraction of it.” Jeonghan turned sideways, looking at Cheol stare at his shelf with an unreadable expression.

“There’s a lot.”

“There’s more upstairs, I’ve got a reading room filled with 3 more shelves and the perfect environment to read. A beanbag, a small futon and a comforter, speakers with reading music…” he trailed off, knowing his boyfriend is trying his best to listen, nodding time and again, but his eyes had glazed, and seemed to be elsewhere.

“I appreciate your effort.” Jeonghan leans into him and kisses him, smiling against his lips.

“I try my best.” Cheol answered while nipping on his lips. They resume, gently at first, but with Cheol clad only in his boxers, it was pretty hard for Jeonghan to keep his hands from roaming to places his shouldn’t, plus, he’s being pushed against his shelf is making Jeonghan feel something he knows is weird.

“Getting edgy, baby.” Cheol tried to pull away but he decides, fuck it, maximum overdrive, and he pulls Cheol back. He hasn’t told Cheol yet, but he loves it when he calls him baby, and tonight, it adds to the fact that he’s feeling pretty slutty. It’s been said that Jeonghan had a hard time keeping his hands off Cheol, but in no time at all, Cheol eventually had an extremely hard time, Jeonghan notices.

An extremely hard time.

Get it? An extremely hard time?

Okay, he’s going to try that joke next time.

After doing a whole comedic act in his brain, he decided to focus and pushes strong Cheol towards the bed, pushing him to it, and climbs over him. He reaches over for Cheol, and goes back to kissing him.

This is no longer an innuendo, he thinks, the is an actual move to pursue the whole… thing.

Cheol cups his face and stops, looking Jeonghan in the eye. “Are you sure, baby?”

“I’m sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made them do the do hehehehehehe okay so i suck at bed scenes so i cut right through the narration, plus, i think extreme smut wouldn't fit perfectly right into the plot so it strengthened my belief to just skip it
> 
> oh okay, and little announcement, some of you may have noticed, and for some, they may know, that i am actually a college asst professor, (not that old, I have students who are actually my age), and that i teach two courses (political science and eng lit) fortunately, the scheduling gods have been nice to me so my earliest class this sem is 1pm (phil standard time) so I can write up to around 4 or 5 am  
> However, because of this schedule I've set for myself, i've been having breakouts and i sometimes get easily sick (plus it's starting to get cold here) so i decided to shift my schedule
> 
> my last class ends at around 7 so i will try my best to write during those hours  
> except exam period bc i'd have to grade all night  
> but my usual writing hours would no longer be 1am to 5am (phil standard time) you might notice as soon as i try and shift  
> this might still be inconclusive though, because i've tried to adjust 70 times this year, didn't work hahahaha
> 
> okay done with that
> 
> please tell me what you think of this chapter!  
> i've already planned and written a little bit of the next chapter so it won't be too long now  
> thank you very much for the birthday greetings!  
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter :)


	14. Chapter 14

If he said he hadn’t been enjoying the past few days more and more, he’d be lying. Relationships are great when you have so much in common, when you appreciate and trust in each other so much, when you just try and show each other that you do love each other; but there is something sex adds to the picture.

It isn’t just the sex. Now that they’re sure that they aren’t prudes, the kisses have become more playful, the touchiness more bold. It’s not that he hated it before, it’s just that it adds to the fun of it all. Okay he just compared sexless relationships boring, he’s gonna have to back up somewhere there.

 

He was in class, listening to their professor drone about a chapter he’d already read 3 times. He’s just waiting for that second hand to reach twelve just like the opening of High School Musical. But in his case, he isn’t waiting for this term to finally end, he’s just waiting for lunch. Like most students in the history of the world.

So when it finally rang, he’s the first one to sit straight and reach for his bag, shoving all his stationary, pretending to be used on top of his desk, when the entire time, he’s been shifting from drawing or doodling in his seat.

If there was anything in this relationship that seems to be a downside, it’s that Jeonghan seems to be far, far, more distracted right now than when he started the term. No distractions, whaaaaat?

“Yoon,” his professor tapped his shoulder before he could leave their classroom. “Dean wants to talk to you.”

Jeonghan nodded, and bowed before walking away. What’s wrong? He’s never been called to the Dean’s office before; he wonders what this is all about, or maybe this could be about his declining grades? He doesn’t actually have evidence, he just feels it. He walks into the quiet Dean’s office and the secretary immediately stood to guide him inside.

Their dean is a middle-aged, tiny, woman, who has a voice extremely contrast to the size. “Mr. Yoon, please sit down.” He awkwardly sat on one of the chairs, fearing his fate. “Don’t worry this isn’t bad news.” She murmured as she opened drawer after drawer, looking for something.

“Aha!” she pulled out one folder and handed it to him. “A Yale Medical School scholarship.”

Jeonghan’s mouth was agape, looking at the folder, complete with the logo at the header, the signed letter from the Dean of the School of Medicine, his heartbeat was caught up in his throat, he was so excited for this. He has always wanted to attend one of the Ivy League schools but the tuition and other expenses would kill their family finances. Hell, this was his mother’s dream for him, too. And he can’t believe it’s just right here in front of his face, offered by the school in the middle of him procrastinating.

“I didn’t apply.” His voice came out hoarse, from non-usage or excitement, he doesn’t know which.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” She sat up straight, twirling a fountain pen between her fingers. “The school applied for you, complete with all the necessary and highest recommendations. We’ve talked about this before and we know the reasons you’ve backed out, but the school has thought of another option,” she paused, smiling mischievously. “And by ‘the school’ I mean me.” She smiled bashfully, obviously proud of herself. “The full scholarship will cover the entire tuition and all your books, the school will cover your dorm, your medical equipment, and even allowance, to make sure you live comfortably.” He doesn’t want to be that skeptical dude who shits on everything but he just had to ask.

“How am I going to pay for all of this?”

She nodded, like she understands where he’s coming from. He hopes so. He doesn’t want to sound ungrateful. “Yes, you will have to pay for that, will you?” she stands, and faces the window; down at the view, to what he expects is the quadrangle. “If you agree to this, you will have to sign a contract saying that as soon as you pass the Korean medical licensure exams, just like state given scholarships, you will be required to work for the university hospital for the amount of time they’ve sent you to school. Be a licensed doctor in 5 years? 5 years in the hospital.”

“Won’t I have to work for free?” for some unknown reason, she laughs.

“Oh you smart, smart, boy, who apparently has done no research about scholarships for students with extremely high academic standing. No, Mr. Yoon, the school is doing this to ensure we can keep you and your services. A future of your pedigree will be extremely valuable for the school and the hospital, this is merely for competition purposes.” She smiles, albeit too professionally. Well, she was the Dean, of course she’s extremely professional.

“Thank you very much for this,” he breathes. He’s excited and overwhelmed, and in these types of situations, he decides he can’t make that decision on his own, he doesn’t make great choices under pressure; which would probably make him a bad student and exam taker in general, but he manages.

Big decisions like this require him talking to his parents. And Cheol, how could he forget the fact that he has a boyfriend now? This requires him to break the news and help decide for him, too. And of course, his friends; what is with him and forgetting important people in the midst of crises? If he’s like this now, how is he going to be a good friend, son, brother, and boyfriend when he decides to attend a medical school 11,000 kilometers away? And if those days spent over a map, a globe, an almanac, and his computer, ready with Google, for him to search for specific must-see places, their distance from him, and the estimated time to travel was useful, he’s pretty sure that’s around 20 hours by plane.

By plane, of course by plane, Yoon Jeonghan, were you planning to paddle all the way there?

“Mr. Yoon?”

“This is a big decision,” he begins as soon as he snapped out of it. “I would need to talk to my parents about this, is that okay?”

“Of course, of course, I wouldn’t want you to decide right away, anyway. But does that already sound good to you?” he nods, accepting the hand she’d offered for him to shake. “This will impact your future, I hope you’d make not the good decision, but the rational decision.”

He raises his left eyebrow as a form of question. “I know about your holdbacks, Mr. Yoon, I know you have a ‘special friend’, I can see the quad clearly from here,” she taps her table, smiling kindly at him. “The good decision will make you consider your heart, but this is medical school, at Yale, but on an entirely different continent, the only kind of thinking you will need to decide, is rational.” He nods, understanding her point, although she doesn’t like her calling Cheol a ‘holdback’. She’s describing him like the fact that Jeonghan loves him will prevent him with pushing for the scholarship.

Oh, okay, she has a point; he already wants to decline her just by the thought of him being broken-hearted over it.

 

So now, sitting on his desk, (they both really have to stop their habits on sitting on the desk, this will give up eventually, plus the fact that they kind of did it here last night may add to the fragility), biting his nails, waiting for Cheol to come back from his shift at the pharmacy. He’s so nervous about telling him and he’s been so fidgety that for the first time, he didn’t come with Cheol to the pharmacy.

Which is what he realizes is a bad move when he realizes everyone will find this weird. He always comes to Cheol’s shifts. Even with the pretense of hitting the books, he still thinks he’s acting kind of shady.

His heart jumps as soon as he heard a thump by the balcony. Looking up and checking the clock, it’s still 10 minutes after 2, which only means one thing: he’s cheating. No he’s kidding. This only means the only reason Cheol arrives at the dorm an hour after his shift is because Jeonghan slows him down. “Hi, baby.”

Now he’s feeling emotional. What if Cheol isn’t holding him back? What if he’s holding Cheol back? The rushes to his bed, grabbing the remote and turning the air-conditioner off at the last minute. “Nice try babe, but you should have tried around 30 minutes ago.” He doesn’t know when this started. The thing where instead of an increasing heartbeat, it slows when he sees him, even just a slight indication of hair, eyebrows, peeking through the door, as long as its him, everything around him just calms, and becomes languid.

He smiles, watching him remove his shoes and abandon it by the door. “You’re early today.” Jeonghan comments, as if it wasn’t already obvious. Cheol looks at him once, and frowns. “What’s wrong?” is he that obvious? “No, I just know you.” He looks up, muttering ‘talking out loud’ plus cursing himself. “I can still point out the forehead lines that’s usually there when you frown too much.” Cheol approaches him, and smooths his forehead for him. “So tell me, what’s making you frown?”

He takes a deep breath, and as soon as he’s ready, he reaches over to his bedside table and hands him the folder. Cheol is looking at him weirdly, “You’re not pregnant, right? Can you knock someone up that quick?”

“Shut up and read it.” He playfully hits his face, gently though, unlike those slaps he unknowingly throws when they’re playing around.

He plays with his fingers the entire time Cheol reads the letter, and other letters regarding the scholarship. He doesn’t make a peep, his expression remains mutual, which scares him most. His heart almost jumps out of his chest when the other moved to place the folder on his bedside table. He quietly faces Jeonghan, smiles a little, and hugs him.

Jeonghan was surprised, that’s to say the least. He’s imagine almost every possible angle, from Cheol being happy to get rid of him, to Cheol crying his eyes out and begging him to stay, but not this. Not a wordless hug.

Jeonghan gently reaches around him to return the hug, resting his cheek on his shoulder like he always does: comfortably. “You’re not going to stop me?” he asks.

“That is far.” He doesn’t need to see his face to know he’s crying, the uneven breathing was enough. “Like really far.”

“Oh no, don’t cry.” He pulls away, trying to look at him in the eye, but the other made it difficult, stubbornly keeping his head the entire time. “Hey.” He cups his cheeks, for Jeonghan, this is a role reversal. He’s usually the one whose face gets cupped, not him doing the face-cupping.

Seungcheol looks at him, with a wide smile plastered on his stupid face, tears falling one after the other. “You’re going to be an awesome doctor.” He sobs again. And at that moment, Jeonghan understood; that Cheol had already given up; he hadn’t even put up a fight, and just lets him go. To others that might seem pessimistic, but to Jeonghan, it’s just supportive.

“I don’t want to go.” Jeonghan says, he’s not really sure about that, but looking at Cheol right now, no, he doesn’t want to go. “I don’t want to leave you, and mom, and dad, and Jeongah.”

Cheol shakes his head, hiding his head again, before reaches over to Jeonghan to wrap his arms around his waist. “I love you.” Jeonghan whispers.

“I do, too.” He feels Cheol nod against his chest.  “So much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know what i'm doing with my life. i've scrapped the entire original plan for the plot, i've scrapped my entire plan to sleep early tonight and decided to finish this chapter and watch the entire season 7 of how i met you mother because i procrastinate like that, inappopriate american sitcoms and writing gay fanfiction, oh the life
> 
> anyway, i make myself confused to ignore me hahahaha
> 
> what did you think about this chapter? i know there's too much happening on the last one so i decided this should focus on one thing  
> you can leave a comment down below  
> THANK YOU!


	15. Chapter 15

They’re having a family dinner, featuring Cheol, which his parents now fondly call ‘the completed family’. It’s been days since he told him about the scholarship and he’s already assured him multiple times that he’s going to reject it. It’s too far away, he’s going to be alone, he won’t be able to handle it himself, and so he makes him promise he won’t tell his parents.

But now, while Cheol is eating dinner, unsurprisingly talkative, but surprisingly ignoring Jeonghan, he’s feeling like he won’t keep that promise. Or would he? When Cheol’s got his neutral face up there is a limit to how much he can interpret.

 

After dinner, they were all around the living room table, surrounding a scrabble board, playing scrabble with a twist. Scrabble with a twist is a game they always played as a family, where aside from forming words through their available letters, they also have to quickly search for a random fact, that includes the word they just submitted, and their score is judged by the number of people surprised by their random fact.

For example, Cheol gets a collective, loud gasp, when he put entered the last letter P, to complete the word SHIP, and saying, ‘Jeonghan got a Yale scholarship.”

Jeonghan’s parents pulling him away from Cheol, who at that time, he wanted to strangle, hugging him tightly. “Oh my God!” his mom exclaimed, giggling a little, his father was just standing near them, swiping a single tear. Jeonghan looks at his ecstatic family, their wide smiles, pats on the back, and murmurs of ‘I’m really proud of you’ then looks at the isolated Cheol, smiling at him. And he smiles back.

Right now, he’s thinking the exact words Cheol told him when he’s offered him the part-time job. I don’t know what I did in my past life to deserve you.

 

The rest of the night was filled with Jeonghan explaining the whole thing to his parents, with Cheol left at the living room, eating ice cream with Jeongah.

“How are you?” she asks like his answer doesn’t really matter to him much.

“Fine, you?” she groans, turning the volume of the tv down, facing him.

“I mean, you probably have known that for quite a while, what’s your opinion about it?” she insists, digging daggers on his already stabbed heart. He suddenly found the ice cream so interesting.

“I don’t have an opinion about it.”

“You can’t have no opinion.”

“I shouldn’t, then.”

“Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, frustrated, he has confronted himself about this, all the nights since he’d known, as soon as the other falls asleep, he confronts himself about it. “I’m just Cheol.”

“What do you mean?”

“He hasn’t known me for too long, my opinion shouldn’t matter.” Jeongah turns quiet. She sits back on the couch, crossing her arms in front of her.

“You’ve known him for the same amount of time,” he nodded. “If this happened to you, would his opinion matter?” of course, it would have, it would mean the world to him. “The answer you just came up in your brain is Jeonghan’s answer. If it’s no, then okay sure, your opinion doesn’t matter. But if it’s other than that, you might want to recalculate your value.” She exhales. It’s not that she and he weren’t friendly, they were, but she hasn’t exactly lectured him before. It makes him smile, Jeonghan’s younger sister, young enough for her to be drinking apple juice in a wine glass, old enough to lecture everyone else around her.

“I don’t want him to go.” He admits.

“Then tell him that, let him deal with the entire thing.”

“But he needs to go. This is his dream; this is your parents’ dream.”

“Jeonghan can stay for you, you’re his boyfriend.” He was about to deny it when she gives him a look that says, ‘don’t even try, Jeongah knows all’ (something she’s already said before). “And my parents can move on.” She chuckles.

“Your parents are important to me, too.” He whispers, only now realizing it himself. If Jeonghan’s dream is to go to Yale to be a high-class doctor, he should go. If Jeonghan’s dream is to make his parents happy and their dream is for him to go to Yale to be a doctor, he should go. “They’re technically my parents now, don’t tell them.” He adds. Jeongah smirks, apparently not that against him treating her parents as his.

“So you’re letting him go.”

“I’m letting him go.”

“Gosh, love is stressful.” He mutters. “That’s a no for me.” She peeks at him one last time, asking, “Remember that time when we went to Akita?”

“Yeah.”

“That was a week and Jeonghan was unbearable, missing you, talking about you blah blah blah, now it’s going to be 300 times more than the Akita trip. I have a feeling I will have a really annoying job because of this.” She groans, complaining, like her normal self. “Imagine that trip, but 300 times longer.” That does sound like torture.

“It seems like you want me to stop him, will you miss him?” as soon as he says it, he wasn’t surprised by the raction. “Ewwwww!” she throws a pillow at him and storms upstairs.

“Jeongaaaah.” He calls out, teasing. At that moment, Jeonghan and his parents emerge from the kitchen, his mom obviously just stopped crying.

“What’s that?”

“I’m just teasing her about missing you.” The three of them laughed, knowing that adolescence makes Jeongah the most entertaining person in their house right now.

They both said they’d go back to the dorm but his parents insisted they’d stay the night and rush to school early the next day.

 

The lights are turned off and Cheol is already on his bed, uncharacteristically stiff. He rises, and heads over to the other bed. He crawls beside him, obviously awake, throwing the covers over the both of them. “Hi.” He whispers, looking at him directly.

“Hi.” Cheol pulls him closer, hugging him to his chest. “Sorry about dropping the bomb.”

“It’s okay.” He decides, his family and Cheol’s insistence is all he needed. “I kind of was expecting you to do it already.” Cheol chuckles.

“I have an idea.” Jeonghan suddenly says. “You can take that job offer from Jihoon.” Cheol pulls back and stares at him, surprised. “Yeah, I know, he told me.” Cheol shakes his head, looking annoyed and disappointed. “Boston is around 3 hours from New Haven.”

Cheol shakes his head; he already has looked at that angle from his point of view. “That is a full time job I can’t just get away from as soon as you graduate, plus, I’ve already accepted another job.” It was Jeonghan’s turn to pull back to stare at him.

“You already have a readied job?” he smiles, now he knows about how Cheol feels, about just letting him take it, because he knows that’s better for him. “As what?”

“Coach is retiring. He recommended me to the Dean’s office to take his place. Good man.” he nods, sniffing, trying to stop himself from crying again. “I got the news on the day you did.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was overwhelmed by yours. You’d already told me you’d proceed to medicine at the university so I thought, yeah, we’re still going to be in the same school, that’s cool. But then the scholarship, and I knew it’s much bigger than my selfish want to keep you here.”

“I could just stay here.” He suggests.

“You know you can’t. That’s why I told your parents, because if you’d only take me into account, I know you’d make the wrong one. You love them, you want to do this for them, and you know that.” Jeonghan gives up, nodding.

“Good man.” he mutters, hugging the other close to him. “You’re golden, Choi.”

 

In the following days, they’d agree they would ignore Jeonghan’s departure until he actually has to go. They have to focus with their upcoming finals, Cheol still has a track meet, and they don’t want to deal with the depressing, yet. They’ve told their friends within the week, although the sad news didn’t stop them from joking some more.

Jisoo sits beside him, being unusually quiet in the whole commotion. “You don’t actually need Jihoon to separate you.” He comments off-handedly. “But he can accept the job in Boston, right?”

“He already accepted a job here.”

“Oh.” He wraps an arm around his best friends. “Well, absence makes the heart go fonder.” He quotes, chuckling from his cheesiness.

“That works for like, weeks or months of absence. Not years.” Jeonghan said and thought bitterly to himself. He knows, somewhere around that line, absence will frustrate them, but he will just have to do his best.

 

Jeonghan sleeps beside him that night, still in his parents house, after celebrating his scholarship with cake, much to Jeongah's pleasant surprise.

“Don’t even think about putting me first, I’ll wait.” He looks up, kissing Cheol’s jaw.

“Did I tell you you’re golden?”

“Yeah.” He giggles as Jeonghan just mouths that tiny spot on his neck he’s so sensitive to. And he thinks, if he’s going to another continent in a few months, he’s going to have to make the most of it.

His mouth starts going down to his collarbones, leaving butterfly kisses along his skin. Seungcheol moans, gripping Jeonghan’s waist tightly. Jeonghan suddenly feels a warm in his stomach, the other moans deep in his throat, whispering ‘baby’ against his forehead, and Jeonghan hardens immediately.

“Uh oh.” He giggled against the lobe of his ear, feeling the other hardening against his stomach, too.

“Here?” Cheol’s eyes widen his panic as Jeonghan flips him over and climbs over him. “Your parents.”

“They sleep like they’re dead.” Jeonghan pushes his hips forward, grinding against Cheol. There isn’t a problem; they’re so used to doing it at the dorm they’ve grown accustomed to being quiet, plus, they’ve done it here before and no one heard a thing.

He continues grinding against him, harder and harder, making the other releases a breathy moan, arching up and exposing his neck. Jeonghan saw this as an opportunity, to suck on the others neck, aggressively, making sure he won’t be able to wear anything non-turtleneck for the rest of the week. “Oh god, right there.” He whispers as Jeonghan change the angle, he thrusts three more times before pulling away, causing the other to reach for him.

He haphazardly pulled off his pajamas and shirt and aggressively pulls Cheol’s boxers and throws it away. Cheol himself sat up to remove his shirt. Jeonghan straddles him, pulling his face up for a kiss, and running his hands up and down his body. “You’re so hot.” He says in between kisses, pushing the other back down to the mattress.

He sits up, one hand still on Cheol’s stomach, reminding him to stay. He reaches back, and inserts a finger into him. Jeonghan smirks at the face his boyfriend was making right now, he’s always done it for him, but he’s never had to just stay back and enjoy the show. His face reddens, one hand palming Jeonghan as he inserts another.

“Baby, please.” He moans again, hard-on pressing against Jeonghan insistently. He pulls his hand away, settling for his preparation despite the fact that he hasn’t stretched enough for Cheol’s girth.

Slowly, he guides Cheol, and slides down with a silent moan. “Fuck.”

As soon as he’s fully adjusted, he leans forward and grips Cheol’s arms, trapping him under him, then grinds forward. “Oh fuck.” If there was anything that turns Jeonghan on so much more, it was the fact that Cheol’s obviously holding his moans in so hard, veins are appearing, his face constantly reddening. Jeonghan grinds harder, equally as frustrated, but he needs to make this as good for Cheol as the other constantly does for him.

He slides up and down, slow and excruciating, mouthing Cheol’s neck. He’s addicted to it, he smells good and that turns Jeonghan more. Cheol’s hand went to his back to force his hips up and down in a faster pace. “You’re killing me.” His boyfriend moans and suddenly sits up, commanding his strength and overpowers him, gripping Jeonghan’s waist and guides him up and down. Jeonghan feels it, and he doesn’t think he can hold it any longer.

Then it crashes against him, wave after wave of pleasure, making him arch up in ecstasy. He grinds once, twice, thrice, and he hears Cheol groan low in his throat and release inside him.

When it subsides, he rests his forehead against Cheol who was still trembling. When he finally exhales, he leans into Jeonghan, kisses him, and pulls out. “That was good.”

Jeonghan holds him close, quite awkward with their position but he does anyway. He leans his cheek against his temple and hums. “I know.”

“Like really good. Where did you learn all that?” Jeonghan was lucky Cheol can’t see his face because he’s blushing like a teenage girl right now. “Jun.” he answers.

“That slut.”

“Well, I’m glad he’s good at these things.”

Cheol hums in consideration for a second before saying, “Well, yeah, me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: *writes le smut*  
> playlist: *plays pray by sunny hill*  
> me: jeonghan bites cheol's throat, aiming for the kill, in one moment where cheol's eyes widen in realization, he rips his throat out  
> me: dfuk, nana  
> me: *changes song*
> 
> me: apparently a little beer makes you think better  
> me: *writes random fact in fic*  
> me: *can't think of anything*  
> me: imma drink beer  
> me: *waits for it*  
> me: *5 hours later* i apparently peed it all out
> 
> me: imma write smut  
> me: *2 hrs later* *headache*  
> me: imma scrap this  
> me: but i put smut in tags  
> me: *headache*  
> me: eat this crap im not going to regret this  
> me: *posts chapter*  
> me: *regrets this*
> 
> *twerks in tagalog*
> 
> receive the smut  
> no complaining  
> i know i succ
> 
> dominant jeonghan because why not  
> fite me  
> jeongcheol is a switch pair  
> fite me twice
> 
> i write better in angst  
> everybody needs to die  
> but i need to stop myself  
> nobody needs to die  
> *kills everyone*  
> just kidding, just the main characters  
> kidding again
> 
> i had to ask all my classes if anyone is a svt fan  
> i had to make sure  
> none of them can know i write gay fanfiction when i'm supposed to be grading their exams
> 
> i feel weird
> 
> leaf comment if u liek  
> luv u


	16. Chapter 16

Their final  exams are fast approaching and the competition for library seats are tight, seniors are on edge, convenience store energy drinks and powder are at a very high demand, you can smell the stress in the air, yet Yoon Jeonghan is procrastinating. Mingyu was sitting right across him, biting his nails, trying to speed read.

Soonyoung was looking out the window, staring at the distance as if he’d given up.

Jisoo looks calm, but Jeonghan knows he’s panicking inside.

Wonwoo was there, too, and Jun, but he disappeared through the row of shelves and has not come back. He’s money’s on sleep. And he doesn’t want to think he’s killed himself there, too.

“When I decided I wanted to be a Chemical Engineer, I said to myself, ‘hey that’s cool’.” Soonyoung suddenly starts murmuring to himself. Everybody looks up at him curiously, kind of sharing his existential crisis. “I regret everything.”

The quiet Seokmin raised his head dramatically, joining Soonyoung in his weird pre-finals drama time. “Why did I even crawl out of my mom’s vagina?”

“Why are you talking about vaginas?” Cheol arrives right when Jeonghan started considering throwing the two out of the window. “It’s just their usual pre-finals meltdown.” He mutters as he removed the bag he put in the chair beside him to save Cheol a seat. They were all talking with their normal talking voices, there are a lot of talkers when studying, and pre-finals is a pretty common meltdown occasion so the library is filled with murmurs anyway. “You’re early.” Jeonghan observes when his boyfriend sat beside him, taking out a huge book from his bag. He was supposed to see Jihoon for lunch today, he texted Cheol the other night, saying he had to tell him something.

“He stood me up.” Cheol faced him, face pleasantly surprised. “Jisoo.” He poked the guy sitting across him, mind still focused on the two dramatic idiots murmuring beside the window.

“Yeah?”

“Your boy, what did he say about trying to distract Jihoon?”

Jisoo straightens up and smiles smugly. “He says it’s going well, they’ve been seeing each other a lot, he even invited him somewhere earlier today?”

“Wow.”

“I told you, my boy can do it.” There were a lot of conversations within their group where to an outsider, they sounded like they were doing something illegal, or were trying to prostitute someone off, but no any other time had sounded so illegal that this one.

“Are you sure he’s not a prostitute?”

“He’s not a prostitute; he’s just a slut who likes Jihoon.” Seungcheol freezes in his seat, neutral facial expression slowly morphing into a smile. “Was Jun here?”

Jisoo was quite surprised, and the sound he released caught the attention of the drama queens. “How do you know Junhui?”

“You know he’s one of my friends from high school right?” Jisoo made a face that gave the answer. “Where is he?”

“He went to find a book around 30 minutes ago, hasn’t come back yet.” Jeonghan answered, still kind of confused. Jisoo looks kind of confused, but still quite proud of himself. Cheol stood and went for the stacks, they all looked at each other curious; even half-heartedly greeting Hansol and Seungkwan who just arrived from lunch.

“You and Jun are friends?” he asked Jisoo, all this time, he’s befriended Jun, not even knowing he and Jun know each other.

“Of course, we’re from the same department.”

“Jun is an Accountancy major?”

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t notice him sitting right beside you?” Jisoo shook his head, proving his observation that Jisoo is really deaf when he’s zoning out. “Do you know he and Jihoon are high school classmates?”

“He didn’t tell me.” As if on cue, Cheol comes back and sit beside him again. He sighed, trying to suppress a smile but failing.

“Caught them on the backmost part of the stacks.” He giggled, affecting a myriad of reactions ranging from ‘ew’ to ‘can I watch?’

 

It wasn’t really a big deal, he was happy to know Jihoon was now distracted from Cheol. But it doesn’t really matter now; the only difference it makes is that he won’t be trying to ‘seduce’ Cheol now. But if the main goal was to separate them, he didn’t even have to blink an eye for that to happen.

Their finals week was over, the final list of graduates has already been posted, and they’re graduating in a few weeks; and he’s gotten Summa Cum Laude on both Biology and Psychology. Cheol didn’t even tell him he possibly could have a Latin honor before he’d seen the list with ‘Choi Seungcheol – BS Kinesiology – Cum Laude’. With that he just felt kind of inferior to him. Anyone can be a Summa Cum Laude with stable financials, and a healthy relationship with everybody around him. But gaining a Latin honor despite the schedule and the scholarship maintenance just sounds awesome to him.

Cheol really is an awesome human being, and he’d hate to be apart from him especially that they haven’t been in the relationship for too long. He doesn’t want to think about it but as the day comes nearer and nearer, he can’t help but be anxious. Sure, after their graduation, they still have a few months before term starts in Yale, but he’s going with a school representative a month early to get him settled in.

Until then, he’s gonna have to spend these months to gain 5 years’ worth of memories with his family, friends, and Cheol.

Wow, he talks like he’s dying.

 

For the last time before their graduation, they decided to have a small outing on a beach resort amongst themselves a week before it. It was no longer awkward as Jeonghan’s friends and Cheol’s had already hung out multiple times before, and since they keep disappearing to God knows where, they’ve had a lot of time to get acquainted.

Even including Hansol, who was only an employees’ brother at first and is now a part of their much bigger and a step much rowdier than Jeonghan’s original 5-person group. Jihoon also quite of fell into the group when he’d unknowingly given up Cheol to run to what he insists is just the ‘usual library romp’ (but he knows is so much more), even despite the fact that still was kind of awkward with Jeonghan because of the thing he did where he tried to bring Cheol with him to the other side of the world just to get him back. But his boyfriend was right, underneath all the holding on to the nostalgia problem, Jihoon was nice and fit in their group perfectly.

“If I’d known he was just sexually frustrated, I would have sent Jun on the hunt as soon as his plane landed.” Cheol jokes while munching on a banana, pointing at Jihoon trying to shoo chingy Jun away from him.

“I don’t think he’d given you up just because he got sex somewhere else.” Jeonghan whispers back, now pointing out that despite shoo-ing him away, Jihoon was now fondly smiling at the oblivious Jun.

“But he couldn’t just like him back that quickly—when we were in high school—wait…” he suddenly stopped in his tracks, looking suspicious. “Nevermind.”

 

 

Jeonghan thought his arrangements for this outing was already perfect, he’d already checked all the items in his list, but now, walking into their group sized room good for 10 people, Jeonghan sees this complicates things.

“I didn’t think this through.” He mutters silently to Cheol. “Sometime within the night I’m going to want to crawl into bed with you and this won’t do.” He grumbles some more, causing his boyfriend to lean into him and kissing his cheek. “Just let their eyes burn.” He jokes.

 

They had so much planned for that night and they were all buzzing around to prepare for their mini campfire night and night swimming. And when Jeonghan had just decided to give up perfection, they all sat around their campfire, squatting in the damp sand and joking around.

“Jeonghan,” Jun Soonyoung clears his throat. “When you become a doctor, I need you to do this.” He stands at his spot, everybody looking up at him. “There are times when you put a stethoscope against a patients’ chest or back and make them cough so you can hear if there’s something wrong, right?” Jeonghan nodded, still not getting why Seokmin was already forcing his giggles away.

“Cough,” he sampled, pretending as if he’s a doctor.

“Cough,” he smiled wider, and Jeonghan swears he heard someone mutter ‘I know where this is going’.

“Cough,” Soonyoung stared around in anticipation. “You have a cough.” It was stupid, he knew it was. But he can’t help it, just like those who are also laughing against their will (Jihoon and Wonwoo to be exact) but there’s something about the joke and the delivery that just makes them laugh and laugh for no unknown reason.

He doubles over Cheol, who has quite recovered but was still giggling whenever he remembers the damn stupid joke. “Oh, I’m not going to be over that in the near future.” Seungkwan heaves beside him. Jeonghan stares at him, and looks at Cheol; then at everyone else. He’s had the same group of friends within his entire college life and only one friend in high school, and because of Cheol, in these last few months of college, it has become this, an 11 person group of people which is impossible to contain now, but he loves it.

He spends 100% of his time laughing; over jokes, over hilarious complaints, over the weirdest thoughts only a stoner can think of, over the stupidest jokes in the entire universe: and he’s having the time of his life.

He looks over to Jisoo sitting on the other side of the campfire circle, smiling at him knowingly, poking the flames with a long stick. He did feel kind of bad, everyone in this group had paired up, almost everyone sitting with the one they’re in a relationship with (or the one they’re denying) and Jisoo sits there quietly, and alone. He stands up, maintaining eye contact and points to the far end of the beach. Jisoo does follow him quietly, passing the stick to Junhui.

“Are you okay back there?” Jeonghan asks.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t think this through, everyone else has been paired off except you.” He tucks his hands onto his pocket, looking at Joshua. He’s been shoved into a huge group of gays and Jeonghan doesn’t even know if he swings that way.

“It’s okay, it’s an all boys’ outing, we can’t bring a girl in here.” Jeonghan’s jaws dropped, gasping in surprise. “Are you that surprised I’m not gay? Straight guys can be friends with gays, too, you know.” Jisoo felt complied to add.

“I’m not surprised about that, idiot,” he hits Jisoo, hard, and he doesn’t even regret it. “You do have someone!”

“I’m not really sure, I’m still testing things out with her.” He grins shyly, gaining another painful shove onto the saltwater from Jeonghan. “Ow!”

Jeonghan is smiling, relieved that he hadn’t been worried about nothing. His smile drops, though, when Jisoo turns serious. “What?”

“We haven’t talked about Yale one on one ever since you’ve told us.” He sits onto the damp sand, patting the space beside him. “I know your parents, I know you, if Cheol wasn’t in the picture, this isn’t such a difficult decision.” He points out, and in the first time in months, he realizes that this is what he needed all along. Of all people, he knew Jisoo was the one who he could talk to about this straightforwardly. Jeonghan nods, accepting.

“I don’t know what will happen if I left for that long.” He’s always told himself that what worries him was the physical contact, the distance, it’s what he’s been saying again and again for months now, but now, with his best friends’ ears on him, he admits it, that what he’s worried about it time. “Technology can shorten distance, but there’s no technology to shorten time; we’d have to spend that entire time apart.”

Jisoo stays quiet, contemplating. “You can shorten it.” Jeonghan looks at him. “You try your best, you make it work. You don’t just give up when you haven’t even started, stop expecting the worst.”

“Oh, well, you know me, I like expecting the worst. That way I won’t have to be disappointed about people not coming through.”

“But for Cheol, you won’t. You know he’s going to come through.”

Jeonghan smiles at him, happy that he has him. He looks back at their friends, laughing out loud while Seungkwan makes faces. Seungcheol looks up and smiles at him; and at that moment, he knows, he is going to miss this the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry i have not updated these past few days, i've been sick for days and i had an extreme migraine and i could hardly stand so i couldn't finish this chapter, i'm still sick but at least my headache is gone so i was able to finish this, sorry if this sucks, i'm still kind of drowsy from all my medicine but i will still try to stay on track so i can finish this within the week so i can start on the next one! (yes, i'm already planning a next jeongcheol fic because the exams are near and i have to finish that one before i get too busy)
> 
> please tell me what you think about this chapter  
> thank you for your patience and for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

It was an exciting summer. They went to more outings with their friends, but mostly incomplete, since after the graduation, most of them had to settle into new roles and new responsibilities for the new school year, but they all tried. They went to an amusement park, they all spent the night in a hotel and fooled around in the pool until they were all dead tired. A week after that Jisoo went back to LA to visit his parents for a while before he took on that banking job.

Seungcheol is trying to smile from the memories as he’s trying to watch Jeonghan pack. He’s sitting on Jeonghan’s bed while the other is bent over trying to fit 3 more of his Harry Potter books into his luggage which already looks like it’s going to burst.

“You can just buy an e-book for that.” Cheol comments off-handedly.

“I’ve sworn off e-books ever since my headaches started again.” He bites out, forcing the books in.

“The books give you headaches any other way.”

“Are you gonna help me or not?” he smiled, sitting beside Jeonghan and picking up the small bottles he’d settled to the bottom of the trunk to put them inside an empty shoe box, rearranged the whole luggage, and gained more space for his books.

“How did you do that?”

“Everyone knows you should have a case for the small ones. If they’re scattered around, they take up more space.” He nagged, reclaiming the bowl of fruit. Jeonghan harrumphed but didn’t complain, he’s finished packing and a few days from then, he’d be flying off to the other side of the world. Well, according to the map. If he was using a globe, America isn’t that far away. But still, that’s a 20 hour plane flight; and a year of paddling according to Cheol.

Jeonghan sat across Cheol, pulling his legs onto the chair and opening his mouth for Cheol to feed him a slice of mango. “And besides, don’t pack like you’re staying there forever, it makes me sad.”

Jeonghan smiled, reaching out to pat his boyfriends’ thigh. “I’m not packing that much,” he was compelled to look at all the luggage he had prepared. He did have 2 large suitcases with a backpack ready to burst anytime. “But it is about 4 to 5 years; I’m going to need this much.”

“Yeah, I know.” Cheol smiled, loudly munching on his grapes. “Hey,” he turns to him. “You want to go out?”

“What, right now?”

“Yeah, tomorrow should be for family, I’d like to take this chance to take you out.”

Jeonghan mulls over it as he stares at his packed luggage. Now more than ever, he feels like he doesn’t want to leave. He’s gone through this multiple times, and he knows he has to go, but he also knows how important this is, besides, it’s just a few years. It’s not like the internet doesn’t exist, he can always contact them all.

“Yeah, sure.”

 

It was already summer and even though the sun is already starting to set, he decided ice cold coffee would be perfect as they decided to visit one of the downtown areas’ best rooftop café and just sit there. They invited the others’ too, although only Soonyoung, Seokmin, Seungkwan, Mingyu, and Hansol made it.

“How’s Hangyeol?” Jeonghan asked while sipping his cappuccino. 

“She’s okay, but she’s kind of worried about your mom, no one can replace Seungcheol hyung, yet.”

“How about Seungkwan?” he suggested. Seungkwan has already expressed his want for the job since Seungcheol has quit a week ago to prepare for his new job. “He still needs to finish up with his previous part-time job; they won’t let him go before the one month notice.”

He sighed. His mother loves the fact that they’re open until 2am, but because of the staffing problem, he’s convinced her to close early until Seungkwan is ready to take the midnight shift.

“Look at that.” Mingyu points to the sky, which has turned into colors of light blue and pink. “That’s cool.” Jeonghan leans closer to Cheol and rests his chin on his shoulder. Cheol leans back and rests his cheek on the top of his head.

“You’ll come home on Christmas, right?”

Jeonghan shakes his head. “The only plane tickets the school will pay for will be to and back. So I’m sure I can’t. This year, at least. I will try for the next years.”

Seungcheol’s heart sank. I will be a year or more before he sees Jeonghan again. “It’s okay,” he says, but mostly to himself. “We can skype and send letters.”

“Send letters?” Jeonghan chuckles amusedly. “What are we, pioneers?”

“Email, then.”

“What is this, 2005?”

“Fine, chat. What do you want from me?”

“For you to live in the correct year?” Jeonghan says back, making Cheol laugh.

 

That’s the memory Seungcheol is trying to summon right now as they’re all standing around Jeonghan, hugging and kissing all their goodbyes.

“You take care, baby.” His mom was holding back tears, hugging him tightly, as his father stood behind her and patting his back. “Don’t forget all my reminders, I put in a paper and tuck it in one of your notebooks.” She sniffed and let him go.

Jeongah stepped in tentatively. “Don’t mess up.” She went in for a quick sideways hug and immediately let go, earning a chuckle from their parents.

“Never forget to call us.” His father gave him one last hug before Cheol stepped in to get his.

Jeonghan had his arms opened, and Cheol just went between his arms and hugged him. “I’m scared.” Jeonghan murmured against him, while his boyfriend ran his hand up and down his back.

“Don’t be. You’re awesome.” Cheol whispered back. He planned to hug Jeonghan until it was last call for boarding but then he remembered that his parents’ doesn’t know they’re together, and he immediately let go.

Jeonghan sighed, smiling to everyone before turning his back and walking to the boarding area.

Seungcheol’s heart sank with every step Jeonghan took, his figure getting smaller and smaller.

He just has to keep in mind that Jeonghan is coming back, and he shouldn’t worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda short because the next chapter will be in chat format hehehehe
> 
> And I will be posting it later huehuehuehue
> 
> Thank youuuuuu!


	18. Chapter 18

October 3, 2012

hannie1004: babe

cheoliepop: yo

hannie1004: i’m sorry i know it’s dawn there

cheoliepop: sokay, i’m already up to prepare for class anyway

hannie1004: how’s school?

cheoliepop: it’s been fun so far, i really miss you

hannie1004: i miss you, too, baby

cheoliepop: everyone misses you too

hannie1004: tell them i miss them too

hannie1004: babe i gotta go to class, i’ll chat you later

cheoliepop: good luck dr yoon, i love you

hannie1004: i love you too

 

December 10, 2012

cheoliepop: lunch time?

hannie1004: yup

cheoliepop: do u know

cheoliepop: jihoon and jun is gonna live together

hannie1004: and all this time they’ve been denying that they’re together hahahaha

cheoliepop: u know

cheoliepop: i have a feeling jihoon has liked jun since high school

hannie1004: i thought he liked you

cheoliepop: i think he just followed me around bc jun is antisocial and only follows me around

cheoliepop: and pretended to like me to make jun jealous

cheoliepop: and all this time i thought it was mutual

hannie1004: awwee poor baby

hannie1004: would you like us to get him back for you?

cheoliepop: shut up stop teasing

hannie1004: hehehehehehehehe

cheoliepop: gtg, i’ll contact u later, love u

hannie1004: love u too bby

 

December 21, 2012

cheoliepop: i heard end of the world is big there

hannie1004: hahaha dumbasses

cheoliepop: r u gonna b ok with spending Christmas there alone

hannie1004: it’s okay my roommate is staying here, 2

cheoliepop: ooo minhyuk? y isn’t he coming home?

hannie1004: money probs too L

cheoliepop: i’m spending it w/ ur family this year… again J

hannie1004: tell them i miss them

 

December 25, 2012

cheoliepop: merry christmas, baby

hannie1004: merry xmas <3

cheoliepop: we miss u

hannie1004: i miss u all too

cheolipop: i love you

hannie1004: i love you, too

 

February 14, 2013 5:22pm

cheoliepop: what a lonely valentine

cheoliepop: my baby isn’t here

cheoliepop: i wonder where he is

 

February 15, 2013 1:34am

hannie1004: hi babe

hannie1004: happy valentines day

hannie1004: i’m sorry I left my phone at the dorm, minhyuk and i went out for some drinks

hannie1004: imma go to sleep now gdnight

 

June 16, 2013

cheoliepop: sent you an image

cheolipop: happy soonyoung day!!!

hannie1004: shit

cheoliepop: u forgot didn’t u

hannie1004: oh my god

hannie1004: tell him i’m sorry

cheoliepop: it’s okay we understand J

cheoliepop: we all miss you

hannie1004: you look like you’re all having fun

cheolieopop: yep, so much fun

hannie1004: well, i still need to study i’ll chat u later ok

hannie1004: tell soonyoung happy birthday and i miss him

cheoliepop: ok i’ll tell him J

 

August 8, 2013 7:02pm

cheoliepop: busy?

 

August 10, 2013 2:13pm

hannie1004: cheol!!!

hannie1004: HAPPY BIRTHDAY

hannie1004: i’m so sorry i forgot i was swamped

hannie1004: babe?

hannie1004: u r probably asleep

hannie1004: i’m so sorry baby

hannie1004: happy birthday

hannie1004: i love you

 

October 4, 2013 12:05am

cheoliepop: Happy Birthday, Yoon Jeonghan, my love, my prince

hannie1004: i’ll chat u later i gtg they’re throwing a party 4 me hahahaha

cheoliepop: ooo have fun bb, i love u

 

February 18, 2014

cheoliepop: don’t tell me u forgot too

hannie1004: what

cheoliepop: i understand u will forget it’s hansol’s birthday, but it’s seokmin’s, too

hannie1004: shit I forgot

cheoliepop: whats going on w/ u?

cheoliepop: u r forgetting everyone’s birthday

hannie1004: i’m busy and super tired, cheol, sometimes I don’t actually remember dates, ok?

hannie1004: get off my case

cheoliepop: ok

cheoliepop: imma go to sleep now, good night

hannie1004: okay, gdnight

 

May 24, 2014

cheoliepop: did u forget

hannie1004: what again

hannie1004: whose fucking birthday is it again?!

cheoliepop: …………….

cheoliepop: jeongah’s

hannie1004: oh right

hannie1004: tell her happy birthday

hannie1004: tell her i miss her

hannie1004: hug her for me

hannie1004: cheol?

hannie1004: cheol i didn’t mean to i promise

 

May 30, 2014

hannie1004: cheol?

hannie1004: r we ok now?

hannie1004: i’m so sorry i snapped at u

hannie1004: school is being too much right now, i’m kinda grumpy

cheoliepop: it’s okay

cheoliepop: i miss u too

hannie1004: me too

cheoliepop: i love u

hannie1004: me 2

 

August 8, 2014

hannie1004: happy birthday cheol

cheoliepop: thank u babe

cheoliepop: how r u?

hannie1004: good, i’ve been acing all my classes

cheoliepop: that’s good

hannie1004: i need to go now

hannie1004: u take care

cheoliepop: ok, love u

 

September 27, 2014

cheoliepop: babe, r u busy?

hannie1004: yea, y

cheoliepop: oh nothing, i just wanted to talk to u a little bit, but it’s not important, it can wait

hannie1004: oh okay

 

October 4, 2014

cheoliepop: hi babe, happy birthday

hannie1004: hi, this is minhyuk, he’s in the shower

cheoliepop: oh hi there minhyuk! J i’m Seungcheol, i’m seungcheol’s boyfriend

hannie1004: oh, he has a boyfriend?

hannie1004: haha sorry i didn’t know?

cheoliepop: is typing…

cheoliepop: haha that’s ok

hannie1004: that’s kinda awkward

cheoliepop: y?

hannie1004: well, we kind of are sleeping w/ each other

hannie1004: he told me u broke up already

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehehehehe
> 
> please tell me your reactions in the comments!


	19. Chapter 19

November 27, 2014

hyukhyukx: hi this is minhyuk

hyukhyukx: i’m rly sorry man

hyukhyukx: but jeonghan says you’ve broken up, we’ve been tgt for months now

hyukhyukx: maybe he tried to break up but u didn’t realize?

cheoliepop: maybe

cheoliepop: i’m kinda dense

cheoliepop: thanks anyways

hyukhyukx: i’m rly sorry man

cheoliepop: it’s ok

 

December 17, 2014

hannie1004: cheol i’m coming home this xmas

hannie1004: my flight is on the 22nd

hannie1004: ur still spending xmas at home ryt?

hannie1004: i’ll see u there

 

Jeonghan sat at the couch, glancing back and forth to this parents and Jeongah, who were all happy that he finally had the chance to come home. His house had changed so much; they’d rearranged the entire living room, repainted the interior, and had modified the stairs so it also became a sort of a book shelf.

“Darling,” his mother said in the middle of dinner. “Why isn’t Seungcheol spending Christmas here this year?”

“What?”

“He texted me last week, saying he won’t be spending Christmas here this year. Do you know why?”

“I don’t know.” He shook his head, genuinely confused. Cheol hadn’t been himself lately, he’s been kind of disconnected, cold, and somewhere in the middle of December, he had stopped contacting him altogether. “I hadn’t heard from him in a while.”

His father peeked through his glasses, sensing Jeonghan’s discomfort.

“You should Mingyu oppa.” Jeongah supplied.

“Do you know where Cheol is?” to say that Jeonghan is nervous is an understatement. Cheol’s been disappointed with him lately, he hardly remembers anyone’s birthday, he hardly contacts him, and in times where he’s stressed, he even snaps at him constantly, forgetting the fact that his boyfriend is probably losing sleep just to communicate with him.

“Nope.” He knows she’s lying, but he didn’t want to push her.

 

Mingyu, Wonwoo, and Soonyoung arrived at their usual rooftop café a day before Jeonghan’s flight back, unusually cold looking.

“Hi!” he beamed as soon as he saw them but only Wonwoo managed to return his smile. He knows that he deserves it, if he’s been a shitty boyfriend to Seungcheol all these months; he’d been a worse friend. All his greetings, all his communication, have been through Cheol and he hasn’t personally contacted any of them. That was exactly what he was afraid of about leaving; he knew he’s like this with distance. He’s too much of an introvert.

“How are you?” Wonwoo asked to break the ice.

“I’ve been good. Medical school is fun.”

“So it seems.” Mingyu commented off-handedly. Mingyu was never the type to be angry like this just because he’s been neglecting them. He’s ignored them multiple times in college, but he’s never been angry at him. This only means he’s done something bigger.

“What did I do?” Jeonghan demanded, frustrated.

“You’ve been a shitty friend this past year and a half, Jeonghan hyung,” Soonyoung began

“Well, I know that.”

“But you’ve been a worse boyfriend.” What? Cheol has been the only person he’s communicating with the past year, how can he be neglecting him? “You always ask about everybody else, you’re always either studying or partying, busy, and he told me that in the past year and a half, you only asked him how he was twice. He’s been having such a hard time and he said he missed you so much.”

“The entire time.” Mingyu added. “Do you even know what’s going on with him?”

Jeonghan came with a blank and his heart sank. He doesn’t know how he is. Has he been sick? Is he having problems with work?

“He was promoted mid-September as Assistant Administrator for the Kinesiology department.” Wonwoo smiled at Jeonghan, although quite bitterly. “There were two spots available, Seoul campus and Jeju campus.”

“So, he’s assistant administrator now?”

“But on the last week of September the house that he’s just bought burned down.” Jeonghan gasped, he remembered Cheol wanted to talk to him to that day… but he was hammered, so when he asked if he was busy, he said he was. “The offer for the Jeju campus offered a resettlement plan, so he decided to take that one. He lives there now.”

If Jeonghan’s heart had already sunk, it was sinking much deeper now. He didn’t have any idea. He didn’t know what was going on, he didn’t know Seungcheol has been having such a hard time.

 

December 27, 2014

hannie1004: cheol?

hannie1004: cheol they told me what happened to u

hannie1004: i’m so sorry

 

“He doesn’t use that anymore.” Wonwoo looked over to his phone, peeking at the messages he’s sent. “He deactivated that one sometime in October, I don’t know why.” He slipped a small piece of paper at his direction, Cheol’s new url written on it.

“I’m so sorry. You know me when I’m away, I’m detached.”

“We know,” Mingyu said, still obviously annoyed. “But Cheol… we’re angry for Cheol.”

“I know.”

 

“Cheol moved to Jeju.” He murmured while chewing his salad.

“Why?” his father inquired.

“He was promoted, and Jeju offered a resettlement.”

“Why did he have to resettle?”

“His house burned down.” His mother gasped, covering her mouth. And based on her reaction, it seems like Jeongah knew after all.

“Did you know about this?” he turned to his sister, without really thinking about it, she just nodded. He looked at their father cautiously.

“That’s where all my savings went.” She murmured. “He didn’t really want to accept it but I kind of slip it in his bag.”

“Oh, poor baby.” His mother swiped a tear. “He could’ve just told us, he could have stayed here.”

“He didn’t want to ‘abuse’ your generosity, he said.” Jeongah said. “He just took the promotion and left.”

 

January 5, 2015

hannie1004: cheol?

 

January 12, 2015

hannie1004: hi, cheol

hannie1004: do u want to talk?

mccheol88: nope

mccheol88: kinda busy I’m sorry, maybe tomorrow

 

January 13, 2015

hannie1004: r u still busy?

mccheol88: not very

hannie1004: can i talk to u?

mccheol88: shoot

hannie1004: i’m sorry

mccheol88: for what?

hannie1004: for being neglectful, i have no idea what’s going on in your life anymore

hannie1004: i’m sorry for being forgetful and not thinking about you

hannie1004: but you need to understand

hannie1004: you know me, i focus too much on school

mccheol88: if u know me, you’d know i understand why you work so hard

mccheol88: what is this about

hannie1004: is typing…

hannie1004: are you breaking up w/ me?

mccheol88: what is this?

hannie1004: what do you mean?

mccheol88: i don’t know what’s going on w/ u

mccheol88: but as far as i know, we’ve broken up

mccheol88: you decided that

hannie1004: what do u mean?

mccheol88: you know what i mean

hannie1004: i really don’t

hannie1004: what’s going on cheol? i didn’t break up w/ u

mccheol88: ok so you plan on stringing me along then?

mccheol88: you won’t break up w/ me despite the fact that you’re already sleeping with your roommate

hannie1004: cheol what the fuck?

mccheol88: i knew this wasn’t the right idea

mccheol88: i have to go i’m busy

mccheol88: i’m trying to move on with my life

mccheol88: pls help me and don’t contact me again

hannie1004: cheol?

hannie1004: baby pls don’t do this to me

hannie1004: cheol please don’t leave me

hannie1004: cheol?

you can no longer send a message to ‘mccheol88’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... that's it, that's the end of the story
> 
> i'm sorry if it kind of sucks but i wanted it to be realistic
> 
> pls tell me what you think in the comments
> 
>  
> 
> just kidding hahahahaha there's still around 2-3 chapters before this ends heheheehehehehehehe


	20. Chapter 20

hannie1004: do u have any idea what cheol means

hannie1004: he’s really angry w/ me, and i don’t know y

theperfectgyu: well, u did break his heart

hannie1004: he said i was sleeping w/ my roommate

theperfectgyu: aren’t u

theperfectgyu: well, u do have a history of banging ur roommate heehee

hannie1004: not funny

hannie1004: wherever did u get that assumption?

theperfectgyu: it’s not an assumption

theperfectgyu: your new bf chatted cheol and said u were tgt

hannie1004: what? who? minhyuk?

theperfectgyu: i dunno the name

theperfectgyu: all i know is that he told cheol and said u already broke up w/ him w/out him noticing

theperfectgyu: and you’ve been cold w/ him at that time so we all assumed u did

hannie1004: what the fuck?

theperfectgyu: the roomie said u were sleeping tgt and that he didn’t know there was a bf

theperfectgyu: + u keep mentioning that ure out tgt

theperfectgyu: broke his damn heart

hannie1004: i never broke up w/ cheol

hannie1004: and y would minhyuk do that, i have a big-ass framed photo of cheol on my desk, he knows cheol exists

theperfectgyu: maybe u got tired of him? not that u broke up w/ him but did u grow tired

hannie1004: shit no

hannie1004: tired of school, yes

hannie1004: tired of being alone here, yes

hannie1004: tired of missing cheol, yes

hannie1004: but never OF him, i love that idiot, i was so looking forward to seeing him when i came back but he was gone

theperfectgyu: well, the picture in my mind is clearer now

theperfectgyu: i always thought it was weird that u came back like it’s nothing

theperfectgyu: made me angrier

theperfectgyu: here’s the thing, all i know is limited to what wonwoo told me

wowowow: which means you know everything

theperfectgyu: dfuq this is a groupchat?

hannie1004: just the 3 of us

theperfectgyu: anyway, so let me lay it down chronologically like this

theperfectgyu: you became busy w/ school and hanging out w/ the new friends, cheol got frustrated but still held his breath anyway, you were late to greeting him on his birthday, didn’t text him for more than a month afterwards, he texts u the night his house burns down, u say ure busy, on your birthday, he greets u ON TIME and he gets a reply from ur roommate saying ‘o i didn’t know he had a bf, bc the thing is, he’s sleeping w/ me, maybe he already broke up w/ u?’

theperfectgyu: how does that look

hannie1004: ……………

theperfectgyu: it DOES look like you’re cheating ryt?

hannie1004: yes

theperfectgyu: so when cheol decided to leave w/out another word, we just let him go

wowowow: jisoo’s been talking to him

wowowow: but if u don’t want the grisly details of cheol’s meltdowns, i wouldn’t ask josh

wowowow: if there was something more surprising than u cheating, it was that it was your best friend who accompanied your boyfriend to bars, smelling the god forsaken alcohol, and brought him home every night

theperfectgyu: that smells rlly fishy but i don’t wanna dive into it

wowowow: o my u smell it too?

theperfectgyu: i smell it, my man, i smell it

wowowow: if josh doesn’t love jeonghan

theperfectgyu: cheol would have another bf ryt now hahahaha

hannie1004: ………………..

theperfectgyu: sorry hehe

wowowow: don’t worry, josh is a good friend

theperfectgyu: and god knows cheol’s still in love w/ u

hannie1004: haha i hope so

wowowow: o well, we don’t really know that

wowowow: he’s hidden his chat url, maybe to prevent anyone from giving u the new one

hannie1004: 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this simultaneous posting is my payment for my consecutive absences lol hahahahaha this is almost at its end so please tell me what u think!


	21. Chapter 21

Jeonghan woke up to an empty hospital room, with tiny flowers on his bedside table. An iv was connected to his arm and he can hear the usual buzz of the hospital as he sat there with his neck in a sort of brace.

The door opened and a small female figure, which he identifies as their neighbor who rushed to him, peeked in. “Oh, hi, you’re awake!” she smiled, bringing a small plastic bowl. “I got you food.” She smiled, she kept the door open, and she was followed in by the three big guys.

“I’m Erika,” she introduced, it wasn’t then that he realized that most of their wing in the dorm is filled with mostly Asians. He noticed the twin Taiwanese boys across the hall, and the Chinese dude who likes to sit in the hallway and look to the distance. “These are my friends Takano, Kyouya, and Minami.” He pointed to xl, xxl, and xxxl. They all looked like they could be wrestlers, but they did save him so Jeonghan smiled to all of them anyway. “We were eating pizza by the common area when we heard you. Sorry it took us too long, we thought it was an armed robber so they all ran for their bats first.”

Jeonghan cleared his throat, making sure he can already talk. “Thank you.” He smiled at her than at them. Right then, he realized that this shouldn’t reach his parents.

“You didn’t tell the school, right? I don’t want them to call my parents.”

She frowned, “Since we had to call an ambulance for you, the dorm manager had to report it to the school, and I think the school called your parents.”

“Oh no.”

“Why?”

“Nothing, they’re just worriers.”

She nodded, sitting down on the chair beside his bed. She smiled, and tried to make conversation. “What’s your course?”

“Medicine.”

“Oh, so you’re older! We’re all undergrads.” He was surprised, not because this tiny human was a college undergrad, but because the three humongous human beings were. “I’m taking Applied Physics, Takano and Minami are taking Chemistry, and Kyouya is taking Applied Math.”

“Oh my.” he chuckled, “Well, to us that may be normal but people just seems to point out, ‘oh that’s because you’re Asian’.” She joked.

“I’m Jeonghan, by the way.” He introduces to all of them.

She then proceeds to talk about everyone else, mostly maybe to build rapport without forcing him to use his voice. As Jeonghan gathered, she was an agnostic girl who converted to evangelical Christianity when she moved; she’s a big fan of anime, and she doesn’t drink alcohol.”

Sounds like someone he knows. “Erika, do you have a boyfriend?” She looked surprised, so he decided to add, “Oh, not for me, I have a boyfriend.” He excluded the fact that that boyfriend may not see him as such anymore, but anyway.

“No, I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Would you like to have one? I have a friend that’s perfect for you.”

 

His parents called afterwards, checking up on him, fortunately, he managed to convince them not to fly over as he assures them he’s okay.

And a few days later, he receives a message.

 

josh_hong:  YOU

hannie1004: me

josh_hong: you gave my number to a girl

hannie1004: yes, i didn’t think you were exclusively for men

josh_hong: that’s not what i meant

josh_hong: what is this

hannie1004: she’s a really nice dorm mate, you have the same religion, she drinks water (not alcohol), and she loves anime, and really pretty too

hannie1004: her name is Erika Sawada, Applied Physics junior, Yale University: WHO ARE U TO REFUSE

hannie1004: i just thought to set u up

josh_hong: what am i supposed to say

hannie1004: dunno

hannie1004: bye bff! <3

 

 

theperfectgyu: heard what happened to u

theperfectgyu: roommate was a freak?

hannie1004: crazy freak

theperfectgyu: was he punished?

hannie1004: suspended and on probation

theperfectgyu: JUST THAT?!

theperfectgyu: he almost killed u

hannie1004: but did i die???

theperfectgyu: big school small rules

hannie1004: the next infraction and they’re going to expel him

hannie1004: i don’t think he’s going to last, he’s a rule breaker

theperfectgyu: we’re worried

theperfectgyu: we told cheol

theperfectgyu:  about the misunderstanding and what happened to u

theperfectgyu: but i don’t think he read it, he hasn’t replied yet

hannie1004: or doesn’t want to

 

Jeonghan’s life came back to normal. As normal as it gets in Yale Medical School, apparently. But when Cheol has totally stopped contacting him, he just decided to bury himself into his studies, no longer aiming for the top, but aiming for just graduation. Everything has turned all around difficult as soon as he stepped into Junior year.

The Japanese gang continued being friends with him and he discovered that sweetness and kindness when it came to them, was according to size. So apparently, Erika is the least kind one, and Minami the giant is the biggest soft ball, imagine that. They all finished ahead of him, they boys went back to Japan and Erika went to Seoul to finally meet Jisoo. He’s not sure if they’ve been closer for the past years, both of them would tell him nothing, all he knows is its’ enough for her to visit him first before going back to her hometown which she hasn’t seen in four years.

Jeonghan on the other just buried himself to his books, his cadavers, and his notes. He hid all of Cheol’s pictures in one of his drawers, tucked away, knowing that keeping Cheol’s picture there is holding onto him and keeping him as if they were still together. There wasn’t proper closure, yes, but the silence is enough break-up as it is. Sometimes it makes him laugh, how they both tried to convince themselves not to worry about him moving away, and about things becoming shaky when they’re apart, but it happened anyway. And Jeonghan is dumb to think that he didn’t contribute to it. If he had paid more attention not just to Cheol but to everybody else, his infidelity wouldn’t have been so believable. To him he was like a focused human, while everybody else sees him as that one zombie (aside from the other zombies in medicine) that seems to be a robot at the same time.

Everyone tries to diagnose him, he hasn’t been this silent and introverted when he first started; he wasn’t that student who walked around the dorm like a ghost in the night, sagged, pale, and dark-eyed. Some say its’ trauma from his former roommate, some rumors say it was just a dive to Yale education and therefore killing himself in the process, but none of them were correct. He didn’t even notice he looked that horrible.

He buried himself in becoming a doctor too deep that he hasn’t even noticed that he was about to graduate until he passed by the huge list of graduates.

He’d been just… existing and studying for the past years he didn’t even notice he was done. Just a little bit of a push and he’d be Yoon Jeonghan, M.D. Well, that sounds really good.

His notification went off, so he took his eyes off the board, and walked away to answer his message in the students center.

heyitsmeyaboi: hey

heyitsmeyaboi: it’s me

heyitsmeyaboi: ya boi

hannie1004: hi josh

heyitsmeyaboi: uhhhh i gotta tell u something

hannie1004: what is it

heyitsmeyaboi: uhh i’m getting married

hannie1004: wtf to who???

heyitsmeyaboi: Erika J

hannie1004: that bitch

hannie1004: oh my gohd

heyitsmeyaboi: yep thanks for introducing her

heyitsmeyaboi: so since its too expensive to send you an invitation, i’m just gonna get ur rsvp thru chat

hannie1004: nice

hannie1004: when is it?

heyitsmeyaboi: august 7 this year

hannie1004: bitch that’s near

hannie1004: but that’s already AFTER my licensure exam so

hannie1004: how long have u two been together

heyitsmeyaboi: around 2 years now

hannie1004: THAT BITCH

heyitsmeyaboi: that’s my fiancée

hannie1004: THAT BITCH she’s been with me this entire time and never told me you were together

hannie1004: ok rsvp: yes

hannie1004: oh wait is cheol invited

heyitsmeyaboi: uh yeah

heyitsmeyaboi: but he hasn’t been answering anybodys calls so i sent him an rsvp

heyitsmeyaboi: i got his response 4 days ago

heyitsmeyaboi: he rsvp’d no

hannie1004: oh

heyitsmeyaboi: im sorry

hannie1004: its ok

hannie1004: but im still going, u know that right?

heyitsmeyaboi: of course

heyitsmeyaboi: or i will murder u

hannie1004: *gasp* CHURCH BOI

heyitsmeyaboi: im kidding

heyitsmeyaboi: we’ll wait for u, we all miss u

hannie1004: congrats, bff

heyitsmeyaboi: thanks

heyitsmeyaboi: you’ll get your wedding too

hannie1004: hahaha i hope so

heyitsmeyaboi: you’ll get him back, too

hannie1004: how can u b so sure

heyitsmeyaboi: i prayed for it

heyitsmeyaboi: bc i luf u

hannie1004: eugh shut up

hannie1004: ew no

hannie1004: i need 2 go

hannie1004: luf u too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second to the last chapter!!! i think????
> 
> so im already planning another fic (preferrably shorter than all the multichaptered ones ive written so far) i have 4 aus prepared. What do u think sounds good?
> 
> Hospital AU (angst)  
> Battle Royale AU (violence, murder)  
> Prostitute AU (pwp)  
> Arranged Marriage AU (fluff)
> 
> aside from the comments for this chapter i hope you can give me your opinion abt this, too! if you think youd have to tell me privately, my twt dms are always open @choisoftcheol
> 
> thank youuuuuuu for keeping up w/ my crap


	22. Chapter 22

His whole family have been rushing around all morning, late for Jisoo’s ceremony. The wedding hall isn’t too far away but his parents slept through the alarm and woke up one hour right before the ceremony begins. His father finished preparing first and waited in the car. Jeonghan followed and sat in the backseat while his father shifted with the music.

“Son,” his father suddenly called him. “Is Seungcheol going to be there?”

Jeonghan stopped what he was doing and looked at his father. He looked solemn, smiling bitterly. His heart grew heavy, and he had to take a deep breath to release the weight. “Jisoo said he rsvp’d no.”

He sighed, “You know we’re really fond of him, right?”

Jeonghan nodded. He remembered that aside from the time when they both spent dinners with them, his family also constantly visited Cheol at the pharmacy to keep him company. They’ve even hung out on those small tables outside and at ice cream without him. And when he left for Yale, he knew Cheol visited them almost every day. To say that they’re just fond of him even is an understatement.

“What happened? I know it isn’t just because he moved; we know you broke up.”

Jeonghan looked out the window, checking if his mother and sister were on their way. “I stopped keeping in touch, he was okay with it, though, but then my roommate—”

“What did that crazy bastard do?”

“He texted Cheol that we were together, that I had broken up with him. I admit, it was believable. I’ve been neglecting everyone. On top of that, I ignored him when he needed me the most.”

“Didn’t you try to explain?”

“I did,” he sighed again, willing himself in his brain not to cry, he hasn’t cried about Cheol in months, he can’t just give his streak up. “But it was too late, I found out too late, he’d already been in Jeju for months before I even contacted him again, he didn’t want anything to do with him.” his father was silent, contemplating things. “I understand, though. It’s really all just a big misunderstanding so I’m just going to wait for the perfect moment where I can talk to him and he can’t block me.”

“He blocked you?”

“About 3 times.”

His father sighed again, albeit sporting a small smile. “Well, you’ll be back here from now on, he can always come back here; or you can always visit him.”

He nodded silently, sitting straight as he noticed the two women come out of the front door.

 

They were just on time, when they reached the floor, Jisoo and Erika were on their way out to prepare for the entourage.

“Oppa!” Erika shrieked as soon as she spotted him, rushed to him and engulfed him in a bear hug.

“Where did you learn to call me oppa?” he muttered. He took one look at Jisoo and he knew that he was the one who taught him that. Erika let him go and hugged Jisoo. “Long time no see.”

“You’re one of the groomsmen, run in.” he hit Jeonghan at the back, pushing him into the hall.

It felt weird that he was brisk walking down the aisle with all the people staring at him but he just rushed over to the groom’s side with Soonyoung, Seokmin and Mingyu already standing in a line. “Hyung!” Seokmin beamed, illuminating the entire place with his teeth, arms open for Jeonghan to run into.

“You’re late.” Mingyu chastised jokingly, clapping him in the back. Seokmin punched his arm gently, “I’m sorry I became the best man, you were useless at the other side of the world.”

“It’s okay.” He smiled. They were all looking at him weirdly, like they were all expecting him to break into sobs or something. He brushed the feeling off, rushing off to his position behind Seokmin when the emcee announced that the wedding was going to begin.

When the wedding march began, Jeonghan noticed a figure waving from the other side of the hall. He waved back when he realized it was Minami, the baby panda inside a wrestlers’ body. He was with Takano and Kyouya, both also smiling at him. They all broke eye contact, though when the entire hall awed when Erika and Jisoo entered. He smiled at both of them, the fact that they’re getting married still not quite sinking in. Did he do this? Did he introduce two people who eventually got married?

And to think he introduced Mingyu and Wonwoo, too, who are now living together in an apartment near Wonwoo’s office.

At least he can do something about other peoples’ love lives to compensate for the fact that he can’t do something about his. He took a small glance to Mingyu, but he still looked worried.

“Are you okay?”

“Are you okay?” Mingyu asked him back, earning a glare from Jisoo, stopping them both from talking.

 

When the ceremony started, the 4 of them sat down behind Jisoo’s parents, in front of everyone else. The ceremony itself was kind of boring, it had to be twice as long because everything said in Korean had to be translated to Nihonggo for the sake of Erika’s guests, but Jeonghan had fun looking around and counting the number of people 1) tearing up 2) he didn’t know 3) he didn’t know and tearing up.

Mingyu elbowed him quietly, leaning near to whisper. “Are you okay?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

He turned his head to the back and nudged Jeonghan to do the same thing. He turned and followed Mingyu’s gaze, and then he froze.

There he was, sitting in one table with Wonwoo and the others, in a simple suit, his hair styled up and completely different. A hairstyle he’d consistently suggested because he noticed he looks best when he just woke up and his hair mussed up and forced up, showing his forehead. He was focused on his seemingly conversation with Jun. Jeonghan remained still, holding his breath, as if a single exhale will be heard all the way across the room.

He turned forward, slowly, willing himself not to show how he feels. But anyway, what does he feel? All he feels is a suffocating weight on his chest, making it almost hard to breathe, fighting the strongest urge to run from there, to just run back to his dorm room, sit alone in one corner, turn the lights off, and cry his entire soul out; just like he did before.

He tried to focus on what he’s seeing in front of him, but Seungcheol’s presence was like a small voice behind, whispering and reminding him of what sits there. “Are you okay?” Mingyu asked again.

“Well, now I’m not.” The other grimaced, earning an elbow from Soonyoung. “No, it’s okay. I would have been worse if I looked back unwarned.” He pats his thigh, comforting him.

He forced one last deep breath, held his chin up, and looked forward. He can’t stop thinking about him, yes; he hasn’t for years now, so he knows he can push the thought back for something important, like he always does.

He focused on the way they both stole glances at each other in between sentences, smiling, and sometimes even squeezing the others’ hand. It does make him guilty, though, the fact that after he went back to Yale and shoved himself to his studies, he neglected his whole group of friends again, he didn’t even know when Mingyu moved into Wonwoo’s apartment, when Soonyoung and Seokmin suddenly got engaged when he thought all the flirting back in college was all in good fun, when Jisoo actually was falling in love with a girl, and that same girl falling in love while texting Jisoo, probably while she was sitting beside him in the cafeteria.

He was lost in his own thoughts that he jumped in surprise when everyone around him started clapping. The ceremony was over, and it was time for the reception. Seokmin reached over to him to poke him. “You give the best man’s speech.”

“What? No. I didn’t prepare for it.”

“It’s okay, you can do it. The best man speech is for the best friend.” He refused, but as soon as the emcee announced that it was time for the speech, he was shoved by 6 arms, which earned laughter from the entire hall.

He stepped up to the podium, coughing audibly. “Sorry.” He smiled. The first thing in his mind was, this was his best friends’ wedding, everyone they know and respect was here, and he had to focus on giving a good speech before getting conscious about the fact that up there in that podium, he can see everybody so clearly: everybody.

“Hi, everyone.” Much to his surprise, a voice peeped up from behind him, translating to Nihonggo. “For those of you who don’t me, I’m Jisoo’s best friend, Jeonghan.” He paused to allow the translator to finish her sentence.

“Almost everyone here knows I’ve known Jisoo for a long time. He’s that tiny kid sitting behind me who keeps playing YuGiOh cards by himself. But a lot of people here don’t know that I actually am Erika’s friend, too.” There were murmurs, especially on the bride’s side. “We were both from the ‘Asian’ wing of the Yale dorms; she was a junior in the Physics department while I was a first year Medicine student.” He turned to her, smiling a little.

“One night, I had a small ‘accident’,” he made a mistake and looked at Cheol, only to see him looking directly at him. He turned away, willing himself to continue coherently, “She, together with Minami, Takano, and Kyouya,” he nodded to their direction, “Rushed over to my aide, brought me to the hospital and looked after me for the whole time I was there. It was there where I gave Jisoo’s number and e-mail address to her, and practically forced her to contact him. They were the exact opposite of each other, but liked the exact same things, I knew they were perfect for each other.” She glanced at them, Erika leaning to Jisoo and resting her head on his shoulder. “Ever since that incident, Erika and I have been very good friends.”

“Jisoo, on the other hand, is hardly a friend. He’s my brother. He wanted to go to another school but since I was introverted and was scared to go to college alone, he went with me, introduced me to a whole bunch on rowdy boys, and stayed with me.”

“We often made fun of him and his immaculateness, cursing at every sentence, and being all-around chaotic wherever we go; the four of us,” he motioned to the three others sitting behind them, “Had a guardian in Jisoo. He was the one who pulls us away from the road, the one who hits us in the head, the ones who pulled us back down when we were being too high up; in short, he was the only sane one, despite the fact that he absolutely is, without question, extremely insane himself.”

“Whenever I tried to hide problems, whenever I pretended like I was okay, he always seemed to know. When we’ve shifted to just laughing and joking around, he would pull me away from the group and would talk to me and listen to me without judgement. Even when I was on the other side of the world, struggling with so many things,” he paused, subconsciously peeking a little bit at Cheol, “He seemed to know.”

He raised his glass of champagne, to signal that he was ending his speech, “So to Erika, please take care of my best friend, and to Jisoo, hurt her and I will murder you.” He smiled, earning more laughs from the hall. “To Jisoo and Erika.” He raised his glass, everyone followed suit, and clapped for the end of his speech. He went back to his seat while the emcee announced for the time for their meal.

The hall instantly became noisy like a bar, with the four of them making their way to their friends’ at the back of the hall, who were already dragging the reserved table to connect them to form one long table for 10 people. Jeonghan looked at everyone except him, pretending like he doesn’t exist. He didn’t want everyone to be awkward, and he knew this is not the place to talk things out. This was a place where for the first time since the beach campfire, they’ve been complete.

When he looked around the table, he realized that they’ve all been paired off, except for the two of them. When they were in college, Jisoo was the odd one out without a partner, and while Jisoo got married and everyone else stayed together, they both were wandering around the tables like a Trip to Jerusalem, making sure they don’t have to sit too near each other.

Fortunately, Mingyu, bless his detective soul, sensed the trouble and pushed Wonwoo away and pulled Jeonghan down. “Sorry, babe.” He muttered to Wonwoo audibly, with his boyfriend nodding and taking the seat beside Cheol.

“Thanks.” He smiled.

Food was served and as soon as Soonyoung and Seungkwan started talking loudly, awkwardness was forgotten and they all just tried to catch up with everyone. Next year, two of the pairs in their group will be getting married, too, so everyone’s excited about that.

“How about you?” Jihoon suddenly asked him, silencing the entire table. He didn’t know what to say. What’s going on with him? He isn’t getting married, he doesn’t have anyone right now, he’s just gotten off the plane from his graduation and medical licensure results. Oh yeah, the licensure results.

“Uh, I passed the US Medical Licensure exam?” he tried. The unanimous woo-ing in their table got the attention of everyone in the hall and made the groom walk over to check up on them.

“What’s going on?”

“Yoon Jeonghan, M.D., that’s what!” Soonyoung cheered. Jisoo beamed and walked over to his seat to give him their old and lame fist bump.

“But it isn’t really, I still have to take the licensure here.”

“Same thing!” 4 of them cheered at the same time, raising their glasses for everyone around that table, laughing and continuing on their conversation.

He felt Jisoo lean near his shoulder, and he knew what’s coming. “Walk with me?” he nodded, excusing himself from the table and walking out the hall. Jisoo walked over to the stairs, and sat.

“Are you okay, Han?” he inquired. Jeonghan had to laugh. “What?”

“You’re doing that thing I said in my speech where we’re all laughing and joking around and you pull me aside to talk to me seriously.” Jisoo smiled, but it didn’t last long. “Oh, seriously, Hong  Jisoo, it’s your day, you can’t be thinking about what I’m feeling right now.”

“I can’t help it.” he shrugged. “You’re my best friend, I can hear your controlled breathing from where I sat, I can hear your heart breaking from over there, you can’t expect me not to do something about it.”

“What is there to do? Do you have a solution, because I’d love suggestions?” Jeonghan groaned out, frustrated.

“Talk it out, you should both stop skirting around each other like you don’t exist, it’s stupid.”

“I know,” he sighed. “I’ve been waiting for the day where I can finally talk to him in a platform where he can’t block me; apparently personal is the only chance. When you told me he rsvp’d no, I gave it up, the thought of talking it out, the thought of fixing it? I gave it up. I didn’t expect I’d see him.” he walked over to Jisoo and sat beside him. “But this is your day, I can’t take this away from you. I’d find another way, maybe I can ask Wonwoo about his schedule.”

Jisoo sighed, giving up. “Okay, I understand. But you do understand my frustrations, right?”

Jeonghan nodded. “I know.”

“I know you still love him.”

“I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'm sorry it ended on a cliffhanger again but I promise the next one is the last one I THINK hehehehehe butI promise the one will finally have an interaction
> 
> My goal is to post the final chapter within today and maybe a short epilogue??
> 
> Whatchu think?
> 
> Thank you for reading!!!


	23. Chapter 23

Jisoo sighed, patting him gently in the back. “You’re okay.”

“I am.” He smiled, he does mean it. He’s neither up, nor down. For years now he’s just decided to stay in that middle ground, that middle ‘okay’ ground. “Now, I’m stealing the groom from his own wedding. Go back in.”

“How about you?”

“I need to go piss first.”

“Elegant.” With one last pat on the head, Jisoo pulled himself up to stand and went back in.

Jeonghan exhaled heavily for one last time before he finally decided to go for the washroom to wash his face—and take a piss, too, of course. Splashing water on his face and feeling better again, he looked at himself in the mirror, sullen, and panda-eyed; well, he’d be surprised if he didn’t look like that. He’d have to work double time to get rid of all the dark circles. Or maybe; if he’s going to be a doctor, the dark circles may never disappear within the duration of his life. He’s just going to wing it and fuck it.

Nobody else is going to be attracted to him at this rate, and he’s going to live alone forever, babysitting Mingyu and Wonwoo’s dogs on his free time. He shuddered at the thought. Well, he hadn’t really thought about a happy ending for himself; well, not until Cheol. That was the first time he actually looked forward to growing old and staying with one person.

He dried his hand, staring at his hand for god knows how long. When he looked up, he can see Cheol in the mirror. It took him a few second to react; he didn’t know if he was hallucinating or if Cheol was actually there by the sink with him, looking at him through the mirror.

“Hey.” Jeonghan jumped in surprise and the reflection spoke to him. He was washing his hands, still the rough, strong, hand which Jeonghan used to hold together, the same hands that used to cup his face, and pat his head, and smoothed his hair. The warm, warm, hand that Jeonghan constantly used to use as a heater when his weird hand does that thing where it’s icy cold again.

He fought the urge to cry and grip him, to stop him from leaving again. He’s been waiting for this day for more than three years now and all he can do is stand there and gape. “Hi.” He croaked.

“How are you?” he wiped with a handkerchief, peeking at Jeonghan from the mirror. Jeonghan stood there, frozen, like he’d lost all the screws not only in his brain but in his entire body; as if one movement will make all his parts break down in that bathroom floor.

“I’m fine.” He whispered quietly, “You?” he’s kind of proud of himself, for the first time in years, he actually asked Cheol how he was.

“I’m doing great.” He smiled. And Jeonghan can see it; he looks healthier, less tired, there are pinks in his cheeks he’d hardly seen before. So it struck him, why would he beg for someone to come back to him when all it’d probably do is make him miserable again? He has never seen Seungcheol look this good in all the time he’d known him; even those times when he was still a drummer in a bar and wore make up and wore those fancy clothes; because he’d always been pale, he’d always look like he could use a month’s worth of sleep—now he didn’t even look like that Choi Seungcheol anymore.

Can he be selfish enough to beg someone to come back to an era where he was miserable? His Jeonghan era? “That’s really nice to hear.” He nodded, meaning it. He turned a little, considering just walking out. “It’s nice to see you.” He managed before he waved goodbye.

He walked out onto the hallway as fast as he can; trying to get out of there. It was stuffy, it was suffocating. He’s held his sadness for so long that everything’s is clawing themselves out by the sight of his ex-boyfriend. This wasn’t their house where he can just lock himself in his room and mope; this is not his dark dorm room which has heard all of his tears in years; but he had to find a place to just release the pressure even just for a little bit. He had to let some go to make space for normal merry-making.

He decided go to up the stairs to the next floor. The entire floor was dark and closed, but also boarded up. The best sanctuary he can manage was a spot on the top of the stairs where he was kind of sure he can’t be seen nor heard.

As soon as he sat down, he just slumped and it happened. Suddenly, years worth of trying to keep his head up and be strong came crashing and hit him like a brick against a window. He didn’t worry about anyone hearing him, years of practice proved that he can cry a river without anyone hearing him. He tried to ease himself into it, hugging his knees and laying his head there, encouraging himself that yes, he can do this. He can go through this entire ceremony like a strong man, he can finish this whole occasion without letting anyone know about what he’s been going through.

He knows it’s his fault, he knows he’s the one who messed up a perfect relationship. He knew he was useless when it came to this, but that just makes things a whole lot more painful. The fact that he could have tried so much harder than he did with having the same results; but still, he could have tried sooner, he could have not given up at all, but he did, and now it’s all gone.

There was a sliver of hope then, a tiny string that Jeonghan kept with him; holding it so tight he hurt himself, but he couldn’t let hope go; and now it’s gone: pulled by the look in his eyes and the health in his skin. He is in a much better place now. He’s not sure if he can find that for himself without Cheol, but he’s going to try. He’s going to promise himself that he’s going to try.

He jumped in his seat when someone suddenly sat beside him. He looked up, snot and tears marring his face, and it was him; Choi Seungcheol, sitting beside him in a dark corner of a wedding hall stairs, looking around everything but him. He rushed to wipe off the liquids on his face and cleared his throat, as if he just wasn’t caught crying by his ex-boyfriend.

“Was I noisy?” he asked, voice still shaky.

“No,” he answered quietly. “You’re quiet when you cry, as usual.”

He nodded, not really knowing what to say. They both stayed like that for a while, just sitting, Jeonghan still heaving from his tears. It seemed like forever before one of them spoke up.

“I’m sorry.” Seungcheol muttered.

“What for?” try as he might but his voice still sounded hoarse and strained.

“For running away.”

“You didn’t run away, I pushed you away.”

“I should have listened to what you had to say,” he sighed. “I heard, I believed, I left.”

Jeonghan bit his lip, he’s just stopped crying but he had another urge to bawl again. “But you had a reason, I even think that was believable.”

Seungcheol shook his head, “You tried to contact me multiple times, I just ignored and blocked you. You probably didn’t even know what was happening.”

Jeonghan chuckled, remembering how clueless he was then. Even if all the evidence lined up, he still spend days trying to figure things out. “I had no idea it was about Minhyuk, I just thought you’d have enough of my neglect.”

“Why would I? I knew how you were when you were busy with school; even when we were roommates you were able to ignore me.”

“But it shouldn’t be that way. Why did I even get into a relationship if I didn’t make an effort?”

Seungcheol shrugged. “I knew I wanted to make the effort. But it just became too many and too much all at once.”

“I understand. I’ve been thinking about it for years, there’s nothing to blame you for.”

“Things would never have gone far if I was just willing to listen to you; lent a single second to know your reason. We just left it like that; _I_ let it stay like that.”

For a while, they stayed silent, but then he realized that if there was a chance to actually _talk_ to Cheol, every conversation he’s had in his mind for years now, _this_ was his chance. “Jisoo told me about what happened when you thought I was cheating on you,” he frowned, feeling conflicted. “He told me he’d followed you around from bar to bar, he’s described every single excruciating detail.” He sniffed. “I hurt you, and it’s my fault. I regret that I never got to apologize to you.”

“He told me, too,” Uh oh, what did he do now. “I would ignore his texts but he just kept them coming, thinking I was reading them.”

“Jeonghan’s really sad.”

“He still thinks you’re still together, cure my delusional friend.”

“Mingyu has already explained what happened, why are you still keeping quiet?”

“Should I just tell him to give this up?”

Jeonghan smiled, not even surprised Jisoo did it. Even though for some he may seem like he’s butting in things that is not his business, but to Jeonghan, he’s just his little solution angel. “Every excruciating detail, then?”

He nodded, keeping his head down. “I hurt you, too.”

He didn’t even try to deny it. Even though the root was because of him, he still spend days, and hours on the end, crying in one corner of his room, screaming why, why did it have to happen to him, what did he do? He was quite neglectful, yes, but he was honest. He loved him, he didn’t want to leave him, he was counting down the days until he’s going to see him again, he had no idea why he deserved it. Even with his effort to hold back, tears still fell.

The times in the past where he had to tell Cheol something, he has also said ‘fuck it!’ multiple times and floored anyway. He can even remember his brain going ‘MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE’ before the first time he confessed, before the first time he reached for Cheol’s hand, before the first kiss; he remembers his brain turn to mush and turn foggy whenever he was in a bunch like this, and he thinks, he _hopes_ that this is his tiny string of hope, coming back to him for him to use.

“It’s been 3 years since the last time I saw your face.” He started. “Have you ever missed someone so much that a sight of them freezes you from the inside out?” he glanced at him, vision blurred by his tears. “Have you ever missed anyone so much that the sound of their ‘hi’ can incapacitate you for a full minute?”

He suddenly nodded, yes. “I have.”

“Then you know how I felt today; so I’m sorry if I don’t make sense and if I’m acting weird.” He took one deep breath and glanced at him again. How can someone look that good? He didn’t know if it was the effect of not seeing someone for a long time but he has gotten more handsome. “Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah, sure.” His voice was also shaking, from what, Jeonghan didn’t know. All he knows is ‘it’s now or never’ if he swallows this down he will never be able to forgive himself. “I’m sorry, but… I’m still in love with you.”

To Jeonghan, it was the longest pause he had to endure. His brain thought of almost all the negative responses in the universe. From ‘I’m sorry but I’ve moved on’ to ‘Oh I’m sorry but I’m already getting married tomorrow, here’s an invitation you’re invited’ and he thinks he might be going crazy.

“I’m sorry, too, but… it seems like you’ll be stuck with me.” Jeonghan had second thoughts, did he hear what he think he heart? What did it mean? “Forever.” Cheol nodded, making him more confused. “And I’m not letting go—not again.” When he smiled, that smile that he missed so much, the one he was sure was reserved for him, he was sure, that he just got, in Cheol’s most weird way, an ‘I love you, too’.

For some unknown reason his eyes may be receiving a different message because he was tearing up again. But maybe it did, because he was sure that this time, the tears were because of relief.

Cheol reached over to hold his hand in his, and he can almost sob in joy because he had missed this so much, oh all the nights when he dreamt like they were back together only to wake up in pain because he might never hold his hand again. And now he was; Cheol was back in his hands, and he has never felt happier. “I missed you so much.” Cheol whispered as he pulled Jeonghan to him by the neck, kissing his temple.

Jeonghan shifted nearer, wrapping his arms around him, finally feeling what he’s been missing for the past few years. Cheol shifted away from him, cupping his face in his hands. “I actually thought you’d moved on.”

Jeonghan laughed, oh that thought of that. “I thought _you_ moved on.”

“Move on? From this?”

“Never.” Jeonghan can’t contain his smile, if it was possible for his cheek muscles to tear right now, it would have. He leaned in, planting his lips on the others. He felt Cheol sigh into the kiss and pulled him in to deepen it.

“Oh, I missed you so much.” His boyfriend said in between breaths.

“Eww!” a voice from below suddenly interjected.

Cheol pulled away to spit back, “Oh, grow up, Boo Seungkwan, as if you haven’t been playing search-my-tonsil with Hansol, either.”

“He has a point.” Hansol whispered, earning a punch from Seungkwan.

Jeonghan looked at the man in front of him, his eyes probably shining, thanking every god in each religion, every deity, for giving him all the things, all the feelings, all the places in the world, in a single human being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAST CHAPTEEERRR!
> 
> Thank you very much to everyone who took a few minutes in their precious time for reading Open Up, this is the longest fic I've written so far, I'd say I'm pretty proud of myself but I still have lot of editing to do, even my first two fics (ITLATN, Forever Young) are also still unedited. I've re-read every chapter and I noticed mistakes that I made while I was writing IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT BECAUSE I'M A VAMPIRE WHO CAN'T DO ANYTHING WHEN THE SUN IS UP.
> 
> But--good news, I am immediately writing a next one (because MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE) and I have taken the poll seriously. I have story-lines for all the AUs, (it may also be cheating but the hospital au already has a strong storyline because I finished the first draft around 5 years ago hehehe) but taking the poll to consideration, I have decided to write the Arranged Marriage AU first, I will need around 2-3 days after the epilogue for this will be posted for me to plan a proper storyline and I will be re-posting right away.
> 
> THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR READING  
> I totally appreciate it, even though I don't have the time to reply to everything, I do read them all and I love the comments, suggestions, and questions in the comment box.
> 
> Thank you so muccch. I love youuuuu.


	24. EPILOGUE

Jeonghan shifted in his sleep and was awaken by a groaning. Still with his eyes closed, he rushed up and leaned into his boyfriend. “Cheol.” he shook him, slapping his in the face. “Cheol, wake up.”

“Stay with me, Jeonghan, stay with me.” He groaned, his face all scrunched up.

“I’m here, baby, wake up.” He slapped him harder, causing him to jolt awake. He was tearing up, looking around frantically. As soon as he set his eyes on Jeonghan, a pulled him into a tight hug. He knows he has nightmares a lot, but he has never forced Cheol to tell him about it. Now it seems like he might need to talk to him about it or it’s just to get a lot worse.

“What is it, baby? Please tell me.” He said in the most comforting voice he can manage, soothing the other by running his hand on his back up and down. “What is the nightmare about?” he pulled away, looking his slightly disoriented boyfriend in the eye.

“You.” He whispered. He held Jeonghan’s hand in his, stroking the skin under his thumb. “You look different, stressed and sad, with dark circles and all.”

“I have dark circles now.” He smiled, grabbing Cheol’s index finger and smoothed his bags with it.

“And you had blond wavy hair; and the dark circles weren’t like this,” he looked sad and worried. “That was not tired but satisfied with my job stressed, that was tired of life sad. The nightmare is just you and me on a floor, I carry you head in my arms like this,” he motioned his hand in a way that’s like cradling a baby in your arms. “You committed suicide, and I was too late, and I’m begging you to stay with me.”

Jeonghan gasped quietly, an eerily clear picture showing up in his head. “But its okay, I’m okay.”

“I know,” he smiled to himself. “It just seems real.”

“Would you like to visit someone for that?” he suggested.

“A doctor?”

“Maybe Dr. Shim can prescribe you a sleeping pill or something.”

Cheol nodded. “Yeah, that can be good.”

Jeonghan smiled at him sweetly, kind of worried. They’ve been living together for 5 years now and if anything, Cheol’s nightmares just became more and more often. “You want to go back to sleep?”

“Thanks, babe.” He leans into Jeonghan and kisses him on the lips.

“Anything for you.” He murmurs against him. It’s been 5 years, and still hasn’t had enough. He can do this forever.

 

Jeonghan jolted awake, immediately glancing at the clock on his bedside table. It reads 6:50.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He cursed, jumping out of bed and rushing to the bathroom, waking his boyfriend up in the process. “What time is your class?”

“I’m a PE teacher and a soccer coach, what do you think?”

“Afternoon classes, then, got it.” He brushes his teeth vigorously, he’s sure no dentist will approve of. “Help me, my shift starts at 7, I am going to be so late.” Cheol groans but rises anyway, hair sticking up on every direction. He walked over to him and kisses the top of his head.

“Cook me breakfast, peasant. I’m going to shower.” He mumbles and pouts, kissing his boyfriend and pushing him away. “You know what happens when an emergency room doctor is late for his shift?”

“People die, yeah.” He pouts while Jeonghan pushes him out of the bathroom. “But I want to join.”

“Tonight, maybe.” He settles, and he beams. “That’s a promise, okay?”

“Fine, fine!” Jeonghan laughs and finally manages to close the door.

 

Jeonghan grabs his coat as the time read 7:15, rushing to the smell of eggs in the air. “Your food is ready.” Cheol leans over the counter, sipping a glass of juice. There was a little bit of scrambled eggs, toast, and the juice. “I cooked a little so you can just munch that down,” he starts, and then points at a paper bag. “I packed you more food, there’s also an apple and a juice pouch. Don’t starve, Doctor, okay?” he smiles, their house was balanced. Cheol, as the more relaxed one does a lot of chores and helps him with everything he needs, which is perfect since he’s the clingier one.

Jeonghan, on the other hand, ever since their Yale fiasco, is the one that remembers everything. Every single occasion and everything that needs celebrating, he’s also the more organized one, which works because Cheol is obedient when it comes to him, and he always asks him to clean. “Juice box? What am I, 9?” he jokes.

“I’ve packed you juice boxes multiple times and it always comes home finished, stop complaining.”

He takes 2 gulps of juice and leans over to kiss him. “My shift ends 7pm, I’ll see you, then?”

He smiles at him, running a thumb across his cheek. “Okay. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” A palm lands against his butt and managed a squeeze before he got away. He giggles on the way out the door, and leaves a laughing maniac behind. A maniac he loves very much.

 

If every day in the emergency department was like this, it doesn’t only mean bad for Jeonghan, but bad for the people in the area. Why are there so many accidents, lately? It might be because of the slippery roads since it’s been raining non-stop lately. But haven’t these drivers learned their lesson and apply safety precautions when they drive in the rain?

“Doc, I need you to look at this.” One of the new nurses approached him with an x-ray in hand. Jeonghan takes it and studies it.

“There’s no fracture,” he concludes. “Clean and wrap it up and you can send him home.” He says. The nurse mutters a ‘thank you’ and walks away.

Fortunately, around late afternoon, he was able to rest a little bit from the entire emergency room ruckus. He texted Cheol regarding the appointment they set with Dr. Shim that evening, then he decided to close his eyes for a little bit.

 

“Doctor Yoon?” he jolted awake, his reflexes working better while on shift.

“Yeah?” he asks Yebin, one of the senior nurses.

“Your boyfriend is here.” She says in a softer voice, maybe because he just woke up.

“Oh, yeah, we have an appointment with Doctor Shim upstairs.”

“Uh,” she looked panicked. “He’s here as a patient.”

“What?” he motioned for him to follow after her. He noticed that it was raining hard outside. Did Cheol drive in this rain? His heart was beating fast, nervous about what could have happened to him. Is he hurt a lot?

She opened one of the closed curtains and Jeonghan slumped as he exhaled in relief as he’s sitting up, nursing minor bruises and scratches. One of his fellow doctors was treating the injuries as he winced. “What the fuck, Choi Seungcheol?!” he hit his head, hopefully uninjured.

“Ow!”

“What, ‘ow’? I told you not to drive your motorcycle in this weather!”

He smiled sheepishly. “It wasn’t raining when I left.”

“It’s been raining the entire week, and it was cloudy all day what did you expect?” he sat on the adjacent, empty bed. Waiting as the doctor finished up the bandage and check for other painful areas. “Sorry, baby. Did I worry you?” he pouted, smiling at Jeonghan. He wanted to smile and comfort him that it was okay, he just panicked for a little bit, but the nurses were already giggling. He scowled, but Seungcheol understood and smiled anyway as the doctor left. He stood up and kissed Jeonghan on the top of his head.

“I’m going to go to Dr. Shim now.”  He made a move to leave but Jeonghan gripped his good arm.

“Are you still going through with that? You don’t want to go home?” he asks in a much softer voice, still worried about him.

“No. It’s okay, it’s not that painful.” He pats Jeonghan’s cheeks. “You want me to come with you?” he shook his head no, and pulled Jeonghan up. They both walked to the nurses’ station to settle his bill.

“No, let me settle this, go upstairs.” He pushes him away with a little smile.

“I’ll see you here when your shift ends, okay?”

“Okay. Be careful.”

“This is a hospital; I’m going to be fine, stop worrying.” Cheol tickled him a little and walked away. Jeonghan then faced all the eyes of the nosy nurses all staring at him.

“Where’s his prescription?” he asked as if he didn’t notice them giving him weird looks. The attendant gave him Cheol’s chart and he pretended to read it.

“How long have you been together?” one of the nurses, Nayoung, asked.

He sighed, knowing he’s not going to die if he answered some of the questions. “He became my boyfriend from my 4th year in college up to my first two years in medical school. We broke up for 3 years, got back together, after a year we decided to move in together, and we’ve been living together for 5 years now, so…” he did a mental calculation in his brain, because he may be an experienced Pathologist but he does suck at math. “Around 9 years? But if you count the break-up which wasn’t official, and were still both in love and just misunderstood, it would be around 12 years.”

“Heol.” Doctor Min, who has been eavesdropping, gasped. “How do you misunderstand and break up for 3 years?”

“I was in Yale, and he was working in Jeju, communication got cut off, I couldn’t come back because of financial limitations, so the first time we saw each other after that was in Jisoo’s wedding, a few months after finishing my licensure exam. We got back together right away.” He smiled, remembering that day when their whole group of friends caught them kissing in the stairs and confirming that they got back together. It was a huge celebration with his parents and sister even joining the fun. Jisoo got so excited he announced it on the reception, much to the confusion of the Japanese guests.

“Aren’t you planning on getting married?” someone piped in.

Jeonghan considered for a second, thinking why they never got that in the picture. “I don’t know, we haven’t really talked about it. We’re almost already married, maybe that’s why we never really thought of it.”

“But you’ve been together for so long, aren’t you at least considering it?”

“Yeah, Doctor, why aren’t you considering it?” an extremely familiar and annoying voice piped in. Some of the nurses even squealed. These girls.

“What are you doing back, you have an appointment.” Jeonghan turned to Cheol.

“Dr. Shim is running late, he said he’s going to text when he arrives.” He shrugged and walks to him. “Answer the question, why aren’t you considering it?”

He felt kind of shy, now that Cheol, and the rest of the staff who are currently resting are now listening in. “I don’t know,” he shrugged. “It was never brought up.”

“Would you want to?” he asked.

He didn’t even have to consider that. “Of course! It’s just that you never brought it up and—” his entire being shut down and he froze when Cheol suddenly kneeled in one-knee in front of him; producing a black velvet box in front of him. There was a united gasp behind him, with almost everyone in the weirdly calm emergency room craning to see.

“Now I’m bringing it up.” Cheol smiled at him and Jeonghan didn’t know what kind of facial expression he had that time but he was pretty sure it was somewhere in between panicked, excited, shocked, happy, shy, and about to cry; and that’s not pretty. Cheol opened the box with two plain engagement rings, and they were perfect. “Will you marry me?”

Even though he was quite surprised, his reflexes still pushed him to it. “ARE YOU CRAZY? WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK? OF COURSE, I’LL MARRY YOU.” He pulled Cheol up and kissed him straight in the face, hugging him.

“I need to put the ring on you.” He mumbled after the kiss.

“No, I want to hug you.” He pulled him in and hugged him so tight he was pretty sure he panted when he let him go, earning in the cheers of the whole department. “I love you so much.”

“I love you so much, too, Doc.” And this is the moments, where he discovers, a home is a person, your universe is a person, and your life is a person. And to him, that is Choi Seungcheol.

 

 

“I bet you could sometimes find all the secrets of the universe in someone’s hand.” –Benjamin Alire Saenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END OF THE END, CAN BE FOUND AT THE END OF THE END  
> IF YOU'RE READING THE END OF THE END, THAT MEANS YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF THE END
> 
> where did i get from again  
> oh the series of unfortunate events
> 
> anyway, i'm sorry if there's no smut hahaha
> 
> but okay LITTLE ANNOUNCEMENT  
> so some of you might have read all my three fics now  
> and i will tell you what i really planned all along
> 
> In This Life and The Next, Forever Young, and Open Up, are part of a 4 story-series
> 
> ITLATN is set on the 5th life and ends on a glimpse of the 6th life  
> Forever Young is set on the 7th life; and  
> Open Up is set on the 8th life
> 
> details will be on the next story (i sound like mnet, the fuck)  
> that's why cheol keeps on having nightmares  
> he dreams of his 7th life
> 
> heheheheheheheheh
> 
> TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OMG  
> thank you very much for reading open up!
> 
> if you want to tell me anything that you don't want to post in the comments section  
> if you have any questions or suggestions  
> you can always dm me @ twt at choisoftcheol or my tumblr: jexngchexl  
> those are always open  
> feel free and thank youuuuu


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